After escaping the stifling palace to visit the waterfall, the pain I had felt seemed to wash away completely. Since I even followed the king into the cold water, there was no chance for the heat to linger.
Visiting the waterfall definitely eased the vague fear and dread I had toward the king.
Maybe the tonic really didn’t suit my body.
After skipping it for just one day, the heat became bearable even in bright daylight.
I wasn’t even sweating, and as my appetite slowly came back, I realised that the old saying that you shouldn’t take tonics in summer was true.
‘But why do I see only Madam Gyeongin today and not Sucheong?’
Now that the heat was bearable, I went outside, unlike a few days ago when I stayed indoors barefoot. While the summer was harsh for people, the flowers in the garden had meanwhile bloomed even more fully, flaunting their beauty.
"My lady, are you feeling alright?"
"Ah, yes. It seems that the tonic didn’t agree with me. Since I haven’t taken it, the heat has become bearable."
“…That is a relief.”
"But I haven’t seen Sucheong around. She didn’t look well yesterday. Could she be sick?"
After returning from the waterfall, Sucheong, who was with Madam Gyeongin, seemed troubled despite her bright demeanour. She hardly spoke, and when asked if she was feeling unwell, she just smiled and said it felt like she had a bit of indigestion, but it was obvious she was forcing herself to appear cheerful.
Something felt wrong, but I didn’t know how to help, and since I was weak myself, I just let it go yesterday. Now she hadn’t shown up at all since morning, which was unlike her, and I was really beginning to worry.
“…I am not sure. She seemed busy…”
When I asked about Sucheong, Madam Gyeongin trailed off a little, looking somewhat awkward. Then, saying that it was still hot and I should go inside, she brought up Chohee, a child I had nearly forgotten. I had briefly seen her while staying at General Hunmu’s house, but unexpectedly, she said the child had spoken about me.
“Chohee sometimes asks about you, my lady. Even though there was not enough time to get attached, she knows you are in the palace and keeps asking when you will come home.”
“I see... It would be nice if I could go, but coming and going outside the palace isn’t really something I can control…”
“No, my lady. I only brought it up because Chohee asked about you again yesterday. She is still just a child, so please do not worry about it.”
“Sometimes, I feel more comfortable at General Hunmu’s house than in the palace. Actually, it’s not just sometimes, but always.”
At my honest words, Madam Gyeongin looked briefly surprised, but soon smiled gently and lowered her head.
Was it because of her age? I felt much more comfortable talking and being open with Madam Gyeongin than with Sucheong.
It was just after I entered the room. Madam Gyeongin had stepped out, saying she would bring some cool water, when a palace maid I had never seen before suddenly appeared and greeted me politely. She introduced herself as Bin and, surprisingly, said she would be attending to me from today. She was about the same age as Sucheong.
“I already have a girl named Sucheong. What do you mean…?”
Could it be that the king, after returning from the waterfall, had sent an additional palace maid to attend to me? I had only just begun to drop the formalities with Sucheong, so I politely asked Bin, the maid who had bowed, if that was the case. She told me to speak freely, and, to my complete surprise, then explained that something had happened to Sucheong, and she could no longer serve me.
“I saw her just last night. What suddenly happened? And without even saying a single word to me...”
“She asked me to convey her apologies for not being able to properly bid you farewell, my lady. But due to urgent matters, she had to leave the palace, so I am speaking to you on her behalf.”
Bin, the palace maid who seemed simple and innocent, spoke cautiously as if it were her own fault that Sucheong hadn’t properly said goodbye.
“Did you happen to see Sucheong this morning?”
Just then, Madam Gyeongin came in carrying water, so I asked her. She glanced at the palace maid named Bin, but didn’t seem particularly surprised and replied that the last time she had seen Sucheong was yesterday evening. No matter how little I knew about palace matters, I couldn’t understand how a palace maid could leave the grounds overnight like that.
Moreover, what urgent matter could possibly make her leave the palace without saying a single word to the person she served?
“Did something happen in her family?”
“I do not know the details either, my lady. I am truly sorry.”
Seeing my puzzled expression as I sat there, Madam Gyeongin placed the water on the table and, after glancing around cautiously, told me that she had known a new palace maid would be arriving today.
“How could you have known something I didn’t? You said yesterday evening was the last time you saw Sucheong.”
“Ah… well…”
“...”
“General Hunmu was the one who told me.”
I didn’t want to think this way, but how could General Hunmu possibly know about the personal matters of a low-ranking palace maid? The more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed, and I had a growing sense that something was going on that I didn’t know. Yet neither the king nor General Hunmu could be approached directly; they would have to come to me, for I could not seek them out first.
I remembered Sucheong’s bright, smiling face. The new palace maid, Bin, wasn’t exactly someone to be wary of, but people always preferred the familiar. Suddenly having someone different around felt strange.
Since I was naturally bad at controlling my expression, I tried my best not to show it and told her to leave, then recalled Sucheong’s final expression from the night before.
Her face had clearly seemed troubled; perhaps I should have asked what was wrong then. She was the one who had gone to great lengths to attend to me, even though I knew nothing about palace life, and as evening approached, I found myself thinking of her even more.
What happened to palace maids once they left the palace? They had nothing to their name and no skills to rely on, but was there any way I could ask someone to send even a little something to Sucheong?
As the sun started to set and the evening glow dyed my room red, I couldn’t shake my unease, so I left my room to speak with Madam Gyeongin. After all, she lived in the same house as General Hunmu and could convey my request. It felt shameless to ask, but I couldn’t speak directly to the king.
Finding no one at the door, I stepped outside to look around and saw the new maid, Bin, standing with Madam Gyeongin a short distance away. They leaned close together, talking quietly, unaware of my approach.
I initially hadn’t intended to eavesdrop on what was being said. I didn’t want to do anything authoritative, like clearing my throat or calling out; I just wanted to naturally appear, so I walked over.
But as I drew closer and caught a few words, I froze in my tracks.
“…It will be difficult to escape death…”
“…Sucheong… is that so… it is only right that she meet death…”
I couldn’t catch everything, but the name Sucheong was clearly mentioned. And the word ‘death’ came up; a word that alone was enough to make my skin crawl.
Seeing the two of them speak with such sombre expressions, I couldn’t help but leap to a terrible conclusion.
Moreover, the moment Madam Gyeongin, who had been talking, saw me, her eyes went wide like saucers and her expression stiffened, and I instantly sensed that something was wrong.
“My lady... when did you arrive?”
“…What did you just say… a moment ago?”
“Pardon? …My lady… how much did you… happen to hear…?”
“I heard everything. Now, tell me. What on earth has happened to the girl named Sucheong?”
・・・・・
I nervously bit at my nails. The story I had heard from Madam Gyeongin about Sucheong contained a shocking truth I could hardly bring myself to accept.
She said that Lady Yuhwa had added harmful ingredients to the tonic she sent, putting me in danger. That was why I suddenly sweated heavily and even fainted.
Sucheong, expelled from the palace as punishment for her crime, was said to be returning to her original home. But I clearly heard that she would have little chance of escaping death.
Madam Gyeongin said that was just her opinion: that it was a grave sin deserving death. However, her restless demeanour made it seem as if she was still hiding something from me.
I told her I wanted to meet General Hunmu. After all, he was the first to know that Sucheong had put those ingredients in my medicine, and he was also the one who brought in the new palace maid.
Why would Sucheong, who had once smiled so brightly at me, do such a thing? It was clear that someone else must have been behind it.
Could it be Lady Yuhwa...?
But she, who had appeared noble and elegant, showed no signs of jealousy. Even if she had envied me for being close to the king, would she really have gone so far as to order something so dangerous?
Whoever was behind it, the fact that someone had tried to harm me was deeply shocking. Being caught up in schemes and intrigues was common even where I lived, but having my life put in such danger was something entirely new.
Moreover, it wasn’t just about this time — I was terrified at the thought of what might happen if someone ever wanted to harm me again. That must be why the king advised me to conceive his child.
I gently closed my eyes. As expected, I wanted to leave this palace. I wanted to escape. I had fallen into a world far too dangerous.
Creak.
“...”
Not long after I spoke with Madam Gyeongin, General Hunmu appeared. Although I was the first to seek him out, his expression suggested he already knew why I had called. When he entered, and I stood up, he calmly walked past me and took the seat I had been occupying.
Even knowing how dangerous the situation could have been, he managed it without uttering a single word, and I found myself admiring him all the more. Just realising that someone wanted to kill me made my chest tighten and kept me from calming down, yet his unshakable expression made me feel almost guilty for having underestimated General Hunmu all this time.
“Why did you summon me?”
“…Who… is the person that wants to harm me?”
“Is that important?”
“…This is the first time I’ve experienced something like this, so I can’t calm my mind easily… Who would want to harm me… And what about Sucheong…”
“I see that your life was quite difficult even in the world you originally came from.”
“Pardon...?”
“You really are oblivious. Do you still not realise who in this palace intends to harm you?”
“Could it be... Lady Yuhwa...?”
“...”
General Hunmoo remained silent, neither confirming nor denying. His silence was an affirmation.
The very woman who had come all the way to advise me to take care of myself on a hot day had intended to harm me. In that instant, the face that had once seemed graceful and noble transformed into that of a loathsome white fox, etching itself into my mind.
How could she try to kill me just out of jealousy? Perhaps she only intended to hurt me. But as I recalled how I had broken out in a sweat and even fainted, my expression twisted into a mottled mask of distrust in humanity.
“Now you understand, don’t you? There is no one in this palace you can trust.”
“...”
“Judging by your expression, it seems you understand. Don’t summon me over trivial matters. I’m not so idle as to meet you for something like this.”
“Wait a moment.”
He stood tall.
“…Then did Sucheong do such a thing under Lady Yuhwa’s orders?”
“What is it that you wish to ask?”
“…What will happen to Sucheong? This place is one where orders from above must be obeyed. If Sucheong didn’t want to harm me but was forced by Lady Yuhwa, then…”
“Even so, it will be hard for her to escape death.”
“!”
“Since she left the palace during the day, she will likely meet her end today. That is what the palace is like. So, if you wish to survive here, learn to adapt.”
Why was it that here, words like ‘death’ were spoken so easily, and talks of survival seemed so casual?
Though my time in the palace was brief, the stress I endured here surpassed the two years I spent preparing for the civil service exams. Even witnessing General Hunmu, expressionless, declare that Sucheong would die was an immense source of stress for me.
“Sucheong is…”
“Enough.”
“...”
“If you still have the energy to worry about a palace maid whose name you don’t even properly know, then study and learn more about this palace. Even a child left by the water would be less anxious than you.”
General Hunmu passed by me without a trace of hesitation.
I was even more anxious than a child left by the water.
But I didn’t want it either. I never wanted to fall into a world like this. And accepting that someone could die because of me was unbearably hard. This wasn’t a movie or a drama. It was reality. Someone could truly lose their life because of me.
Tuk.
I grabbed hold of General Hunmu’s sleeve.
“…Someone dying because of me… I’ve never gone through something like that.”
"Get used to it. There will be more to come.”
“!”
General Hunmu began walking again.
“I refuse!”
“...”
"Why must I get used to someone dying because of me? Why is this place one where speaking of death is easier than asking after someone’s well-being?"
“...”
"Please save Sucheong. If someone must die, it should be Lady Yuhwa, who tried to harm me."
Thud.
“Gasp!”
"Watch your words. In the palace, even a whisper to yourself is heard by many ears."
“…But isn’t that true? The one who gave the orders is at fault. What crime does someone commit for simply doing as she was told after entering the palace as a court lady? If there is any, it is that her status is low. And if there is another, it is being born into a place where death is taken so lightly.”
“...”
"I ask for nothing else. Just let her live. Even if she survives, won’t her life ahead be full of hardship? I may not have fully adapted yet, but I know how hard the people of this country struggle to live. I understand how difficult it is to have even a single meal. So please, just let her live. The thought of someone dying because of me… I simply cannot bear it… not yet."
Even as I spoke, my heart trembled, fearing that someone’s sharp blade might be aimed at her. It was like the terror I felt the moment the king first saw me and wanted to kill me, because this world was so different from the one I had known.
General Hunmu looked down at me. I, too, did not avert my eyes and looked up at him.
He might not understand my actions since he was born and raised in this world, but I promised I would be truly more careful from then on. I just hoped he could prevent anyone from dying.
"From now on… I won’t eat anything carelessly. I’ve come to truly understand how terrifying this palace is… Even so, she has worked so hard, caring for me even though I knew nothing… Please let her live…"
“Do you realise just how outrageous a request you’re making of me right now?”
"...But given General Hunmu’s position… isn’t saving a palace maid’s life something you could do…?"
"Soon, you’ll realise just how little you still know about this place."
“...”
“Get up. I’ll show you myself.”
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