・・・・・
The candle burned all night, its wax clinging haphazardly to the candlestick.
The suffocating climax, the heated air, the strong fingers that held me close again after the passionate release.
As the deaths of the people faded like a distant dream, I collapsed from exhaustion and fell asleep. In my half-conscious state, I felt the king pull me into his embrace, but my eyelids were too heavy to open.
After such a vigorous night, I had no idea when he had risen, yet the king, flaunting his boundless vigour, appeared in the morning perfectly composed and neat — a stark contrast to my own dishevelled state.
He then asked where I wanted to go, but unlike yesterday, this time my mind was dazed from being tormented all through the night.
I vaguely recalled him saying we could stay outside the palace for three days, but I couldn’t think of anywhere to go all of a sudden.
But without realising it, I kept finding my eyes drawn to his lips and to the fingers that had held me.
“I want to go to a temple…”
I ended up saying that. Even as the words left my mouth, I thought it was truly absurd, but the only place that came to mind where the dangerously lingering memories of his touch from the night before might quiet down was a temple. Fortunately, even at my absurd remark, the king only told me to get ready to go out and said he would return after noon.
Didn’t he seem a lot less frightening now? He hadn’t changed, but perhaps my perception of him had.
Even when I said I wanted to go to the temple, he agreed and even gave me enough time to eat lunch. No one was forced to die, and if the king had also gone mad in the midst of all this, I probably wouldn’t have been able to bear it. The balance of intensity and gentleness was truly well maintained.
When I saw the new girl, Bin, I naturally thought of Sucheong, but I didn’t let it show. Madam Gyeongin also seemed to be watching me, but I tried to act as usual. They had no power of their own; they just accepted whatever they were told or whatever came their way, so I didn’t want them to have to tiptoe around me.
I had no appetite at all, but since I had sweated so much yesterday, I forced down a few spoonfuls of rice before changing into the clothes Bin had brought. It was a plain hanbok, the kind worn by women whose connection to the palace was uncertain. It seemed we would not be taking along the large retinue of court ladies and eunuchs as we had when going to the waterfall.
But when someone reappeared after noon, it turned out to be none other than General Hunmu. The king had said he would go on ahead, and, just as when I went out last night, General Hunmu saw me in a makeshift disguise and, without the slightest surprise, told me to follow him.
“...”
As I quietly followed General Hunmu out, I suddenly wondered if he had slept well last night. Unlike me, who witnessed it firsthand, could General Hunmu, who was engaged in the fight with his sword, have suffered nightmares all night?
But his strides as he led the way were firm and unwavering, each step carrying not a trace of hesitation.
“Did you say you wanted to go to a temple?”
“...Yes.”
He, who had walked silently all the way to the palace gate, finally broke the silence. I didn’t know how far he would accompany me, but with the secret we shared, one neither of us could tell anyone else, it felt as if we were conversing without words.
“Are you going to pray for Sucheong’s soul?”
“…Since the king is accompanying me… I won’t do anything that would draw attention… You don’t need to worry.”
Recalling General Hunmu’s advice about keeping my wits about me, I spoke as if making an excuse. In truth, I mentioned going to the temple because the king’s lips and fingers kept coming to mind, not to pray for Sucheong or the souls of the deceased.
General Hunmu said no more and safely escorted me out of the palace. Then, he led me into a thatched-roof house, somewhat tucked away like an inn, where he paid his respects and greeted the king, who had been waiting in a room beforehand.
‘He looks like a different person.’
Even the king was dressed similarly to General Hunmu, which I hadn’t expected. Seeing him without his red and gold gonryongpo gave a completely different impression, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him for a moment. Without the regal robes, he didn’t seem cold or emotionless — perhaps it was the aftermath of last night’s events, but there was something different about him.
“General Hunmu will accompany us on this outing.”
“Yes…?”
“It would be problematic if my identity were exposed, so I cannot come out with eunuchs and court ladies. Since General Hunmu’s martial skills are exceptional, he is a trustworthy companion to go with me.”
“Your Majesty. To call me a companion is most improper.”
“Did you know? General Hunmu and I were childhood friends.”
“!”
I never would have imagined it. Childhood friends? And now he was a subject of the king?
General Hunmu dared not lift his head and spoke sparingly, but the image of the king delivering the sahal punishment and striking him on the head with his sword sheath suddenly flashed before my eyes, and for a moment, an expression of disbelief crossed my face.
But soon, I remembered what he had said last night: that his emotions had erupted uncontrollably, and I quickly nodded. This world was truly very different from the one I lived in. I had to keep that in mind if I wanted to spare myself some emotional strain.
General Hunmu led the way toward the nearest temple. However, even though the temple at the top was relatively close, the distance we had to walk was still considerable, so there was a hint of worry even before setting out. The king, with his sturdy build, would probably manage easily, but I wasn’t so sure about myself.
Somehow, General Hunmu ended up leading the way, while the king and I walked side by side, our shoulders almost aligned.
Could this really be happening?
If even a whisper of what happened yesterday reached the king’s ears, it would be a serious disaster. Yet here we were, the three of us out together. It was precarious, but somehow remarkable.
As we walked, I glanced at General Hunmu’s swaying sword sheath. If his martial skills weren’t as good as they are, I would have put us in real danger. I realised once again that I mustn’t cause him any more trouble.
Flinch.
I was naturally following General Hunmu and happened to glance at him, but as I turned my head, I flinched. The king was watching me. Since I had something to hide, even though I hadn’t said a word, my feet went numb, and I hurriedly parted my lips that had been silently sealed.
“Does the king… come out like this often?”
“Do you mean while hiding my identity?”
“Yes… to see the lives of the people…”
"You know well. Before I became king, I came out often. But after ascending the throne, I haven’t stepped out even once."
"Thank you for coming out like this on my account… I am deeply sorry… for putting you through so much trouble.”
"Don’t force yourself to learn the ways of the palace. The more you become a palace person, the more your heart will wither."
I gently bit my lower lip. Unlike before, this time I feel like I almost understand what the king meant.
Last night’s events suddenly came to mind, and though he would never know as long as neither of us said anything, I spoke again, as if deliberately shifting the topic elsewhere.
"The market we’re passing now… there's a similar one where I used to live."
“Is that so?”
"When I was young, I often went with my mother, but as I grew older, I couldn’t. These scenes were something I had only seen in books until I came here, so it feels amazing.”
“...”
“It seems similar, yet different, but it’s just like what I’ve seen in books.”
“You speak well, perhaps because you’ve stepped outside the palace.”
“Pardon?”
“Or perhaps it’s because General Hunmu is here.”
The moment General Hunmu was mentioned, my heart sank with a thud, and my hands clenched.
I tried to just brush it off, but I couldn’t help feeling flustered. When I glanced at General Hunmu, he, unlike me, walked ahead completely unfazed, as if nothing had happened.
If I acted strangely or unnaturally here, it could lead to unnecessary misunderstandings. That must never happen.
“It’s because I’ve stepped outside the palace.”
I answered as calmly as I could, keeping my expression as composed as possible. But my voice betrayed me. It was clearly more hurried than usual, almost defensive.
My voice didn’t match my face, and in that brief moment, I could feel cold sweat trickling down my back. It hit me then: this outing with the three of us together had been a dangerous idea from the start.
The king’s fierce eyes looked even sharper, and I clenched my hands tightly, feeling as if I might break into a sweat.
"Did I... perhaps speak too much and make you uncomfortable?"
“Uncomfortable, you say. If I were uncomfortable, would I have bothered to ask?"
That was true. If he were uncomfortable, before even asking, he would have given an order or taken action first.
"I only thought… since you mentioned General Hunmu… and I’ve been talking more than usual, that perhaps I was making you uncomfortable…"
"Wasn’t General Hunmu the one who first found you? It’s only natural you’d feel closer to him than to me."
“…That’s not the case.”
“...”
“I went straight to the palace to see the king, so there wasn’t even enough time to feel any closeness.”
The king looked at me, then walked on without a word, his gaze fixed ahead. I couldn’t tell what he thought of my words. But the cold sweat that had prickled my back and palms refused to fade, and as I walked, my body burned as if I had taken a tonic.
"Oh my gosh!"
Tuk!
"Be careful."
Being so focused on the king’s reactions, I didn’t even notice the stone in front of me and nearly tripped. At that moment, the king, with remarkably quick reflexes, grabbed my hand and prevented me from falling, while General Hunmu also swiftly turned his body, stepped aside, and lowered his head. Both of them had frighteningly fast reflexes.
Before I knew it, we had left the market and entered the mountain path, and with no one around, a brief silence fell.
"Thank you… I’m not very careful by nature… so I often fall."
"Hunmu. Let’s rest for a moment."
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
"Stop using the title ‘Your Majesty.’ I had just stepped out of that tiresome palace — I don’t need to hear it here too.”
"I understand. I humbly apologise."
Hunmu laid a luxurious-looking cloth over a flat rock for the king to sit on. The king, who had been holding my hand until then, gestured with his head as if inviting me to sit on the cloth.
Coincidentally, I had grown exhausted from walking, so I quietly sat down, breaking the flow of silence. The king sat beside me, but General Hunmu remained standing, like someone on sentry duty. I would have liked him to sit with me, but in this place, his position did not allow him to. In other words, it reminded me once again of how exalted the king sitting beside me truly was.
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