When I woke up early in the morning, the sun was already beating down, its warmth surprisingly strong.
On a hot day, descending the long mountain path could be exhausting, so we decided to descend later in the afternoon and spent time at a temple, which was cooler than the valley below, thanks to the surrounding dense forest.
The puppy, now named Narae, seemed to have grown quite accustomed to us in just a day, wagging its tail in greeting the moment it saw us. Although General Hunmu must have cared for her through the night, she strangely seemed to follow the king more closely, perhaps because he was the one who had first brought her here.
The king, who had slept beside me the night before, woke earlier than I did to the sound of the monks’ moktak [1] in the morning. When I rubbed my eyes and stepped out of the empty room, he was sitting in exactly the same spot where he had been the day before. In fact, not just that morning, but he hadn’t once gone inside (the Buddha hall) during our entire stay at the temple.
Still, since it was a place that had let us stay for the night, it felt proper to offer a bow before leaving. Yet even as we prepared to depart, he remained sitting outside.
In the end, I said I would offer a bow on his behalf, and then went inside.
“...”
The familiar scent of incense I had smelled at home, the same Buddha statue, and the neatly arranged cushions.
As I looked at the Buddha, the vivid memory of Sucheong’s death came back, and I silently brought my hands together in prayer.
With the first bow, I prayed for Sucheong’s soul; with the second, for the souls of the nameless men; and with the final bow, I prayed that I might find a way to return safely to the place where I lived.
When I came out after bowing, General Hunmu and the king had already finished preparing to leave. By the king’s feet, Narae was wagging her tail and looking up at him, and the sight struck me as quite endearing.
Was appearance really that important in a person? It wasn’t as if I didn’t know his temperament, and yet, standing beside General Hunmu, the king no longer gave off the murderous air he had when we first met.
Self-deceiving Yoo Yewon.
“Did you pray?”
“Yes?”
“I mean what I mentioned yesterday: about my interest not growing any further.”
As I walked closer, the king spotted me and asked, even with General Hunmu standing beside him. It had completely slipped my mind, and when I looked at him in surprise, he asked again if I had forgotten.
When I heard his words yesterday, I felt as if I could pray even with 108 prostrations, but since I prayed to find a way back, it must carry the same sentiment, right?
Without agreeing or disagreeing, I turned my gaze to Narae. The king didn’t ask any further and put on the hat that General Hunmu was holding.
But did he truly want me to pray to Buddha that his interest in me wouldn’t grow?
After politely paying my respects to the head monk who had let us stay the night, I held Narae in my arms and walked down the path.
At first, she stayed quietly in my arms, but after we had descended a bit, she began whining. She seemed to want to walk on her own.
Sure enough, the moment I put her down, she didn’t run off but followed while matching my pace, which made me smile at how endearing she was. But when I noticed the king watching, my expression quickly stiffened.
Although we set out in the somewhat cool afternoon, it was still summer, and before long, sweat formed on my forehead and the bridge of my nose.
My clothes were already cumbersome enough, and seeing the king and General Hunmu struggling along with me made me feel all the more apologetic. Going downhill was easier than uphill, of course, but still, as the king had said, it was remarkable that they had come all this way just because of something I had said.
After walking for quite a while, my throat grew dry, and since there was a waterfall nearby, we decided to take a short rest. To me, waterfalls were places where so many things had happened, so I felt both glad and a bit embarrassed for no particular reason.
As soon as she spotted the water’s edge, Narae hurried over with small, quick steps. Even though little stones blocked the way and she couldn’t reach it, her thirst must have been strong.
But when the king saw Narae staggering on the rocks, he suddenly rushed forward, scooped her up, and set her down near the waterfall. The sight of her hastily moving her tongue to drink the moment she saw the water was both pitiful and cute, but since even General Hunmu was standing still, I could only widen my eyes in surprise at the king’s action.
What on earth was the king's real nature? Could a person really be so utterly extreme?
Come to think of it, I once read in a book at the library that the daughter of a Japanese yakuza, usually cold and cruel, could be extremely soft-hearted in front of a small puppy.
I stared blankly at the king’s back as he watched Narae drink all the water. General Hunmu, too, silently watched the king’s unexpected side, which he got to see thanks to Narae.
I wondered what Hunmu felt whenever the king, who had been his childhood friend, acted fearsomely toward him. Yet, seeing his strong loyalty, it seemed their bond was far stronger than I had imagined.
Rustle, rustle.
I was watching the king’s back when I heard someone moving through the bushes. When I naturally turned around, I saw an elderly woman walking, carrying a bundle. Seeing that people were at the waterfall, she continued on her way down.
She could have come closer and rested for a while, but she turned her head away abruptly, giving the impression of avoiding people, even though walking must be tiring at her age. She probably didn’t even know our status, yet as I kept watching, she looked back once more, as if reluctantly.
“!”
But when the elderly woman turned her head and I got a good look at her face, I froze in shock, my eyes practically popping out.
She looked familiar. No, not just familiar — it was unmistakable.
For a moment, I even forgot about the king and General Hunmu and moved toward the elderly woman as she turned to continue down the path.
My heart seemed to be running wild, thrashing wildly as if adrenaline were surging through me.
Swish.
But before I could even take a few steps, General Hunmu suddenly stepped in front of me, as if to block my way. He shot me a look that seemed to ask where I was going, but there was no time to explain.
I had to reach her before the elderly woman disappeared. I needed to catch up to her and ask.
Swish.
With the king present, General Hunmu didn’t touch me directly. Without a word, he positioned himself in front of me, blocking my path even more firmly than before. Meanwhile, the elderly woman’s head was barely visible, just peeking through the bushes.
"Move aside!"
Overcome with urgency, I let out a louder-than-usual voice, and General Hunmu’s eyes widened. It was loud enough for even the king to hear, but at that moment, I couldn’t control myself.
Could it be that the wish I made while bowing to Buddha had come true? I had to catch up to that elderly woman.
Taking advantage of General Hunmu’s momentary daze, I began running in the direction the elderly woman was walking. My long chima was cumbersome, and without caring about embarrassment, I lifted it up to my knees as I ran.
"Grandmother!" [2]
I ran while shouting.
Her face, deeply etched with the wrinkles of time, had one eye clouded white and completely blind, giving off a chilling aura.
That elderly woman was definitely the same one I had seen in front of the library on a rainy day, before I fell into this world. Both her appearance and the aura she gave off left no doubt that she was the same person.
“Grandmother, wait a moment!”
Fearing that we might lose each other somewhere in the mountains, I ran while shouting loudly, almost as if screaming.
The soles of my feet ached from walking on the rocky path in the flower-adorned shoes, but right now, nothing mattered more than meeting her.
However, it hadn’t even been that long, and when I came out from the waterfall and back into the forest, the elderly woman who had seemed barely visible was gone. Not a single strand of hair or edge of her clothes could be seen.
I ran down like a mad person, not knowing the path, searching for the elderly woman who had vanished without a trace, but she was nowhere to be found.
I could hardly believe it, but it really was that old woman — absurd as it seemed, she was truly the same person.
‘No. I have to meet her, no matter what. I must meet her.’
But I could no longer see the elderly woman, nor could I take another step.
It was because the king was suddenly behind me, seizing my arm.
“Do you want to be food for the wild animals?!”
The king, gripping my arm tightly, shouted with his voice raised. Even General Hunmu, who had been standing at a distance, looked quite startled by my sudden dash to find the elderly woman.
Only then did I realise that I had truly run down recklessly, yet in my mind, the thought of meeting the elderly woman kept stirring.
During those hopeless hours, when all I could do was send out desperate prayers, I hadn’t realised how desperately I longed for this moment — so much so that every hair on my body stood on end.
The king’s expression stiffened, and he held onto my arm firmly, growing tired as I kept glancing back, anxious that the elderly woman might still be nearby.
“In this place, with no ties at all.”
“Ouch!”
“You, who know nothing, are so fearless.”
Still distracted, it was only when the king’s voice lowered that I finally focused my gaze on him.
I knew he was worried about me, but I couldn’t calm down. Seeing the elderly woman — whom I’d last seen in front of the library — here, of all places, felt like catching a glimpse of a clue that might lead me back.
If I wasn’t mistaken about that elderly woman, though it was hard to believe, she might actually be capable of travelling between dimensions.
And she must be the one who sent me through dimensions.
“Who is that elderly woman that you went after so frantically?”
I couldn’t honestly tell the king, who had warned of breaking my wings, about the elderly woman. I hesitated for a moment, unable to answer, and the king grabbed my shoulders.
“Answer me.”
“…She looked so much like someone I knew…”
“Is it really that simple? You ran off like that, shouting as you went, just because she resembled someone you knew?”
Were my words too absurd?
At that moment, Narae appeared, rustling through the bushes. She seemed scared, clearly panting and struggling, as if she had just managed to come down from the waterfall while worrying about me. Being such a young puppy, it was brave of her to have made it this far.
Even though the king had been gentle with the puppy, he didn’t take his eyes off me, not even as Narae whimpered.
“I just… I thought, maybe, just maybe, we had fallen here together.”
“...”
I wasn’t sure if the king believed me; his expression was so stiff, but he soon removed his hands from my shoulders.
“Your Majesty, it will be dark soon. We must hurry down.”
General Hunmu, who had remained silent until now, seized the moment to speak. Perhaps because we were in the forest, darkness was falling faster than it did in the palace.
There was still a long way to go down. The king, who had been staring at me even after General Hunmu spoke, suddenly grabbed my hand. Then, with a hardened expression, he began to make his way down the forest path.
General Hunmu quickly led the way down again, but I was a bit worried because the king’s face remained tense while holding my hand.
As we descended, I even thought of several lies that I could tell, fearing that as soon as I reached the bottom, he would start questioning me harshly again.
But really, where could that elderly woman have gone? How could her steps be so quick?”
I had to meet her. Even if it led to nothing, I just wanted to ask her once why I ended up here.
Translator's Corner:
[1] Moktak (목탁), also known as a 'wooden handbell', is a wooden percussion instrument used in Buddhist ceremonies in the morning to call people to the Buddha hall for morning practice and throughout the day during ceremonies and daily chants. It evolved from the 'wooden fish' of the Chinese 'muyu' and Japanese 'mokugyo' versions, where the Korean moktak is roundish in shape and often hand-held. Source: https://wmic.net/korea-moktak-applesauce/
[2] In Korea, Halmoni (할머니), which means grandmother, is a polite term used for any woman old enough to be your grandmother. So in this context, I have just translated it as 'grandmother' since it wouldn't be polite to call her 'old/elderly lady.'
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