Leaving the king's bedroom felt like a dream.
Even though my legs were still trembling and my clothes were drenched in sweat, as I followed behind that man, even the head court lady who had spoken to me sternly earlier and the maids changed their attitudes and bowed their heads.
I was only able to properly breathe once I had completely escaped the palace following that man, Hunmu.
In that moment, a tremendous wave of relief washed over me, and the thought that I was still alive hit me so strongly that I exhaled deeply and paused, feeling as if my legs might give out.
“...Thank you.”
And the very first thing I did was to express my gratitude to the person who made it possible for me to get out like this.
He stood tall.
Framed by the crescent moon and the dark night, he paused briefly at my words.
Watching the long ends of his hair flutter gently in the breeze, some of the tension I had felt before the king began to ease.
“Why are you thanking me?”
I was momentarily startled by the low voice carried on the wind.
And in that instant, I realised I’d made a slip of the tongue — because he seemed to be not only a subordinate of the king, but also a fairly close confidant.
Sure, I wanted to avoid the king out of fear, but revealing all my true feelings to someone like him didn’t seem right.
Even so, I couldn’t just stay silent, so I gave the most roundabout answer I could manage.
"...When I felt thirsty during the day, you gave me water, and not only that... I might have made mistakes because I don't know the customs or how things work around here, but you helped me avoid that..."
“Don’t misunderstand. If His Majesty ordered me to kill you, I could do it right this moment. The only reason I brought you out was because His Majesty was tired — nothing more.”
“...”
“Until His Majesty summons you again, I’ll teach you the proper etiquette of this place. Until then, stay quiet and behave yourself.”
His response was colder than I’d expected, but just being free from the king’s overwhelming presence was enough. I swallowed hard, trying to soothe the hollow feeling inside.
Hunmu started walking ahead again, and as I followed him, the sight of the tiled-roof houses and the entirely cement-free, old-fashioned scenery made me feel it all over again — this really was another dimension.
As I walked down the pitch-dark path with no streetlights, relying only on the moon, a large tiled-roof house came into view. It wasn't quite as grand as the palace, but still impressive in scale.
Even so, just knowing I could finally rest without fearing for my life made everything feel heavier. My hair, pinned up high, ached; the binyeo dug in; and the clothes I was wearing felt unbearably cumbersome. I couldn’t imagine how people here managed to wear such heavy, elaborate outfits every single day.
Creak.
“You’ve returned.”
“Welcome back.”
As he opened the wooden door and we stepped inside, despite the late hour, a group of people who appeared to be servants all came out together and greeted him.
“General!”
Among the servants, a little girl who looked no older than six suddenly ran out and clung to him. The elderly woman standing behind me appeared flustered and unsure of what to do, but General Hunmu didn’t push the girl away. Instead, he gently stroked her head.
She appeared to be the elderly woman’s granddaughter. Though her status was low, her neatly tied hair and tidy clothes showed she was well cared for and much loved.
“This woman will be staying in this house for the time being. Please prepare a place for her and explain the customs here, as she is completely unfamiliar with them.”
“Yes, General.”
Although they were servants, Hunmu still used honorific language with them. After gently patting the little girl’s head once more, he disappeared into a room. Once he was gone, the oldest among them motioned for me to follow and began guiding me.
My different hair colour might have seemed strange, but no one openly reacted. Only the little girl, who looked about six, followed me with curious, sparkling eyes, but the servants caught her and lightly scolded her by ruffling her hair.
Though it was our first meeting, the woman bowed politely, and I returned the greeting in kind. She led me into a room that, while not large, was a cosy space meant for guests to rest. There was no soft bed or electric lighting, but when a candle was lit, the room was bright enough to clearly see the furnishings.
“The blankets are inside here. Shall I prepare them for you now?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll spread it out myself before I sleep… Please don’t trouble yourself.”
“But still, I…”
"No... really, it's fine."
“Then if you need anything or have any questions, please call me.”
“Thank you.”
After the woman who guided me left, I sat down against one wall, my heavy, rustling clothes pooling around me as I looked around the room again.
I realised I didn’t even know how to wash up here, or what I was supposed to wear to sleep. But after such a chaotic day, I just wanted to be alone.
Their overly polite speech made me feel uncomfortable, too.
“Haa…”
At last, I finally let out the sigh I’d been holding back.
Even if I told them I was from a different world, they probably wouldn’t understand.
Hunmu seemed to know something, but he was clearly a man who maintained strict boundaries, so having a private conversation with him would be difficult.
It was already clear that life here wouldn’t be easy. Still, maybe it was for the better that I caught Hunmu’s attention rather than those people who screamed and called me a monster.
“...”
The nights here were silent, filled with nothing but stillness. It was so different from the late-night sounds I used to hear: the TV in the background, the ping of messages on my phone, and the quiet chatter of Mum and Dad.
The unfamiliar clothes and the hairstyle, styled in a way I've never tried before, already felt heavy, so I took out the binyeo that weighed on me the most. As I let down the carefully styled hair, my scalp throbbed.
“Why me… Why did this have to happen to me…?”
The confusion about this unfamiliar world that I had tried so hard to suppress, the fear that I might never return, and the unanswered question of why I ended up here all slowly came crashing over me like waves now that I was alone in the room.
As I blankly stared at the flickering, burning candle, the events of the day replayed in my mind — until suddenly, the king’s cold face surfaced.
I shook my head hard and buried my face in my knees.
But it didn’t disappear right away.
In the pitch-black darkness and silence, what I naturally felt was despair.
If I couldn’t return easily, Kyuhyun — who cheered me on with all his heart — might end up thinking I ghosted him after suddenly going silent.
Mum and Dad would probably file a missing person report and spend each day in tears.
With no one to blame, I reluctantly accepted the harsh reality that had befallen me. Still, I couldn’t help but recall the strange old woman I’d seen before descending into the subway station — but that was just my guess; nothing was certain.
My knees, where I had buried my face, were becoming damp.
If I had been a little younger, I might have bawled my eyes out, crying, 'What is this?'
But after going through such an unbelievable reality, all I could do was shed silent tears.
Not even a full day had passed, yet it already felt like several had.
That king, who seemed to treat human life so lightly, was someone I never wanted to meet again.
‘Please, when I open my eyes tomorrow, let it be in my own bed. Please.’
・・・・・
When I woke up early in the morning, the hope I had held onto was not fulfilled.
Sleeping on the floor instead of the bed I’d used for over twenty years left my back stiff the moment I woke up, and wearing cumbersome clothes to sleep made it feel like I hadn’t rested properly at all.
When I barely managed to respond to the calm voice asking if I was awake, the middle-aged woman who entered looked rather surprised to find I’d slept without even changing out of my clothes.
Then, perhaps remembering that General Hunmu had said I was unfamiliar with life here, she gently offered to personally prepare things for me tonight.
The middle-aged woman who personally brought the washbasin into my room didn’t even have time to straighten her bent back before saying she would prepare a meal for me.
I felt humbled by such hospitality — something I had never experienced even in my own home — and though I felt a bit embarrassed, for her, this was just how she lived.
No sooner had she cleared away the washbasin, her rough, weathered hands, marked plainly by the passage of time, brought in a generous meal, and my heart felt overwhelmed once again, just like yesterday.
There wasn’t even time to feel disappointed that I’d woken up somewhere other than my own bed.
“Um... there’s a lot of food, so if you haven’t eaten yet, maybe we could eat together...”
“Oh my, that would be quite inappropriate. Someone as lowly as me could never share a meal with you.”
“What? I, too… don’t really have any special status or rank...”
“No. Please don’t say that.”
“...Ah...”
Was it because I had come with General Hunmu that I was also being treated with such high regard?
In the world I came from, social classes had long since disappeared, though, of course, other divisions even more significant than social class had arisen.
Come to think of it, what was Hunmu doing at this moment?
Did he intend to keep me here until the king summoned me?
“Um... that person called Hunmu…”
“The General left early this morning for the palace. He should be back sometime in the afternoon.”
“Oh... I see…”
Wait a minute, he wasn’t coming back until the afternoon?
In that case...
It had already been nearly a full day since I had suddenly arrived here.
For some reason, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that the longer I stayed, the harder it would become to return to the world I came from.
So when I heard that General Hunmu wouldn’t be back until the afternoon, those words struck me hard.
I wasn’t certain, but if I picked a flower or jumped into a waterfall, couldn’t that shock the system enough to create a rift in time and trigger a miracle that sent me back?
“Um... after I eat, would it be okay if I stepped outside for a bit?”
“Pardon? Outside?”
“…It feels so empty and stifling here… even if it’s somewhere by the river or anywhere at all… I just want to go outside.”
“I didn’t check with the General beforehand if you were allowed to go out...”
“Ah… it should be fine. I’m not going anywhere specific — just stepping out for some fresh air. When he returns, I’ll let him know that I’ve been out.”
“Alright, then I’ll make preparations for you to go out after you finish eating.”
“Thank you.”
Okay. Once I was outside, I would try anything, no matter how foolish, that might help me return.
I had no appetite at all, but I forced myself to chew and swallow the rice and side dishes. Having grown so accustomed to instant food, the meal was rather bland and didn’t quite suit my taste, but still, in an effort to lift my sagging mood and energy, I even finished the persimmon served as dessert without turning it down.
‘I will definitely return.’
After eating, while still wearing the same clothes from yesterday but with my hair roughly styled and a white cloth covering my head, I followed the middle-aged woman outside.
I wondered if women here weren’t allowed to show their faces, but when I followed the middle-aged woman out to the market, I saw other women walking around with their faces uncovered.
That was when I realised the clothes I was wearing were made from fine fabric — something ordinary commoners wouldn’t wear.
Seeing people glance at me and avoid me made me feel strangely guilty.
I was no one special, but because I happened to meet General Hunmu and was wearing these clothes, I ended up becoming an unfair point of comparison against the weight of their harsh lives. Of course, my hair colour probably drew attention too.
Having spent so much time preparing for the civil service exam and constantly comparing myself to others, I really didn’t want to make anyone else feel that way.
Peering through the white cloth, I glanced at the bustling market and kept looking around to see if there was anywhere nearby with a river or flowers to pick.
The ornamental pendants and flower-adorned shoes — things that might have caught the interest of other women — occasionally drew the attention of the middle-aged woman ahead. She would pause and gesture that it was alright for me to take a closer look, but I wasn’t interested in them at all.
‘Flowers!’
After walking through the market for a while and nearing its end, I spotted flowers blooming everywhere along the street.
I came to a sudden stop, then turned and began walking toward them. The middle-aged woman beside me let out a small gasp and quickly moved to walk alongside me.
“Let’s go together. Do you like flowers?”
“...Yes”
Honestly, I hadn’t had time for anything else because of all the studying, so it had been a long time since I’d looked at flowers this closely.
Back where I originally lived, I wasn’t even interested in real or artificial flowers, but now I stood close to them as if I were genuinely moved.
I felt a bit sorry, like I was selfishly picking flowers that were peacefully blooming, but please — let this somehow send me back!
With a trembling heart, just like in the old stories I’d read, I grasped a large, vibrant flower in my hand.
Then, clutching at straws, [1] I shut my eyes tightly and gave it a strong snap, breaking the flower off.
“...”
Perhaps, just one wasn’t enough.
Seeing the flowers still spread out before me, I reached out and broke off another one. But nothing happened — only a few passersby gave me strange looks.
It appeared that picking flowers wouldn’t work after all.
A wave of disappointment washed over me, but I reminded myself it was too early to give up.
Now, should I just jump into the water?
“Is there a river nearby?”
“A river?”
“A waterfall would be fine too. It’s a bit warm, so I want to go somewhere cool.”
“Ah, please follow me. If we go just a little further up, there’s a river.”
Picking the flowers didn’t trigger anything, which made me anxious, but I still calmly followed the middle-aged woman up the path.
In truth, now that I was outside, I wanted to throw off the white cloth from my face and just run and leap into the river, yet I firmly suppressed my feelings.
As we walked up, seeing groups of women gathered by the riverside washing clothes stirred a deep feeling in me.
I had only ever encountered lives like theirs in photos or paintings — yet here I was, witnessing it all vividly with my own eyes.
I felt that I could easily write an entire novel based on everything I had experienced here once I returned.
“I’m afraid your clothes might get dirty. Please, have a seat here.”
When we finally reached the river, I noticed that the water thankfully wasn’t very deep.
The middle-aged woman explained that the well water for every household came from here.
Then she pulled a cloth from beneath her clothes and spread it over a flat stone for me to sit on.
“You really don’t have to go to all this trouble.”
“Please speak comfortably. General Hunmu uses honorifics out of courtesy because he does not wish to look down on us, but there is no need for you to go that far, Miss [2]. Please just call me Madam Gyeongin.”
Miss. Back home, I was just a nobody preparing for the civil service exam, but here I was addressed as ‘Miss.’
Looking at the kind, middle-aged woman who told me to call her Madam Gyeongin, I suddenly felt sorry, wondering how shocked she would be if she saw me suddenly jump into the river.
But it couldn’t be helped. I wanted to return to the world where I belonged.
I didn’t want to face that terrifying king anymore, and I couldn’t bear being alone even for a moment in a place like this, without a phone or electricity.
“Um, sorry to bother you, but could you possibly get me something to eat? I’ve gotten really hungry after walking for so long.”
“Oh dear, I understand. Shall I buy you some rice cakes?”
“Anything is fine.”
I couldn’t bring myself to jump into the river in front of the kind-hearted Madam Gyeongin, so, feeling ashamed, I made a request.
She seemed worried about leaving me alone, but when I said my feet hurt and that I would just sit down, she quickly said she would be right back and hurried off.
“I’m sorry... madam…”
I watched the retreating back of the middle-aged woman for a long time until she was out of sight, then I slowly stood up.
Perhaps because I had made up my mind, jumping into the river somehow felt more hopeful than when I was picking flowers.
Or maybe it was because I had watched too many dramas, but haven’t great events always seemed to begin and end with water too?
Taking a deep breath, I removed the white cloth from my face, pulled out the binyeo that I tucked into my hair as an ornament, and also slipped off my flower-patterned shoes.
Since my clothes were so extravagant, I could already feel people’s gazes on me, so I hurried to the edge of the rocky bank and stood at the tip of a stone, ready to jump in.
“Huuu... I’ll be fine.”
Even though the water wasn’t deep, I couldn’t swim, so a slight tension rose in me. But I quickly shook it off and took a deep breath.
If fear of the water kept me from jumping, then I’d have no choice but to face the even more terrifying king and endure an unknown stretch of time here.
I was definitely going to return.
‘One, two, three.’
Splash!
Translator's Corner:
[1] The phrase "clutching (or grasping) at straws" means being in such a desperate situation that you try unusual or extreme ideas which have little chance of success.
[2] The title used is: 아씨, which is equivalent to "my lady," but since it's meant to be a lower-ranking honorific of another honorific which is used later, I have translated it to "miss."
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Translator here…! I’m sorry my cat wanted to knead and sleep on me so I haven’t posted the next chapter 😖 Once she’s off me, I’ll quickly edit and post it up!! Thank you all for your patience 😊💓