Chapter 117: I Will Miss You
- Reira ☾⋆⁺₊✧ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
- Dec 12, 2025
- 8 min read
“Actually, there’s something I’ve been thinking about ever since I found the writing in the hidden room.”
“Something you’ve been thinking about?”
“Once or twice might be a coincidence, but when several small coincidences stack up, it isn’t a coincidence anymore.”
Alicia’s eyes hardened.
When the parts that had bothered her were pieced together, an entirely new story emerged.
“I think the paradise from which Prime was exiled might be Schwarhan.”
“But in the text you interpreted, it said it was a land of abundance, without cold or hunger.”
“The monster said so. That Prime was exiled from here. Right?”
When Alicia turned her gaze, the monster nodded as if answering.
It was only a brief nod, but it was enough to give her courage.
“Even so, a frozen land and a paradise don’t really match.”
"It might have changed."
“Changed?”
“Even if it wasn’t intentional, Prime really did kill a god.”
Alicia instinctively felt along her arm.
At the thought of the writing engraved on the wall, the fine hairs on her skin stood on end.
The writing, stained with intense self-loathing, guilt, anger, and every kind of emotion directed at her, stirred all sorts of feelings just by thinking about it.
“Do you by any chance remember Schwarhan’s other name?”
“Wasn’t it the land abandoned by God?”
Cabelenus slightly furrowed his brow.
Alicia smoothed the man’s creased forehead with her palm and shook her head.
“It’s not only called ‘the land abandoned by God’; there’s another name as well.”
“Do you mean the land where God’s blessings do not reach?”
Gazeff, who had been quietly listening, spoke up.
“That’s right. Sir Claude told me about it in the past.”
“So you’re saying that paradise disappeared because God disappeared?”
“We should hear more from the monster, but if we piece together only what’s been revealed so far, it seems that way.”
Alicia cast a sidelong glance at the monster.
Worried she might have made a mistake, she looked at the monster, but it remained silent. It seemed she was correct.
“Then, if God returns, wouldn’t it be possible for the frozen land to thaw?”
Gazeff, lost in thought, tentatively raised his hand.
His cheeks were slightly flushed with anticipation.
“That may be true, but I don’t have the energy to worry about that right now.”
Cabelenus shook his head firmly.
While it would be a joyous thing for Schwarhan’s ice to melt, there were more pressing matters at hand.
“Please don’t speak so harshly to Sir Claude. After all, an opportunity has arisen, so even if not now, maybe later—"
[That is impossible.]
The monster standing beside her bit the tip of Alicia’s sleeve and shook its head.
It was a firm gesture of denial.
“It’s impossible?”
[The day that man was exiled, he stole you.]
“What do you mean? Stole me?”
[...]
For a brief moment, the glowing eyes flickered.
Alicia tilted her head as the monster’s tail rose higher.
“What is it?”
[It might be possible.]
"What are you talking about?"
[To repair your vessel.]
“…What?”
For a moment, Alicia doubted her own ears.
“What did you just say? Did you really say it’s possible to fix my vessel?”
[I am not sure if it can be done. But there is a possibility.]
“Then tell me right now. Please.”
Alicia took a deep, urgent breath and met the monster’s gaze.
The monster pressed its black nose against the back of Alicia’s hand and slowly exhaled.
[If it is that man, he might know how.]
“That man… You mean Prime?”
[You disappeared, and that man was exiled. But before leaving, he made a promise to us.]
“A promise?”
Alicia reflexively fiddled with her hands.
The sensation of the monster’s breath brushing against her hand was ticklish.
[He said he would return you.]
“Return me? What does that mean?”
[I do not know. But that man definitely knew something. As evidence of that, the one who had disappeared reappeared.]
"..."
[If it is that man who returned you, he would know the method.]
It was a vague answer, but right now, even that was enough.
Alicia clenched both fists, and her eyes shone with determination.
“Then, where can I meet Prime?”
[I do not know. We have been in this place for too long. I do not know about the outside world.]
“Then...”
“What’s wrong? Is there a problem? Could it be that the way to heal you is difficult?”
Cabelenus, who had been anxiously waiting for the conversation to end, couldn’t hold back any longer and lowered his body.
No matter how closely he listened, he couldn’t understand what the monster was saying unless Alicia interpreted it for him.
“By any chance, do you think it’s possible to find Prime?”
“Prime?”
“The monster says that if it’s Prime, he might know a way to fix me.”
“Then we have to find him.”
The answer came without hesitation.
It was an overly confident answer, as if he were looking for a neighbour’s dog.
“Have you ever met Prime?”
"No way. I’ve only ever heard of Prime as a figure from myths, so I’ve never actually seen him."
“Then…”
“It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether we can find him or not — we absolutely must.”
Cabelenus straightened his back.
Up until now, the man had never missed a prey he wanted.
Now that the vague situation was over and the goal had become clear, there was no reason to just stand by any longer.
“But—”
[It is fine. He can be found.]
“You can find him? Is there really a way to locate Prime?”
[I cannot. But that person can.]
The monster’s gaze, which had never left Alicia, turned toward Cabelenus.
Alicia followed suit and looked at him as well.
[It flows within that person. The same blood as that man.]
"..."
[Being drawn to the same blood is instinct. It is entirely possible. Just have that person find him.]
“…It feels like the monster is saying something to me, right?”
The perceptive man quickly realised that it was talking about him and stepped forward.
“If it’s you, the monster says that you will be able to find Prime.”
“Me?”
“Prime’s blood flows in you. The monster says that if it’s you, you will be able to find him instinctively.”
“I’m not sure about instinct, but there is definitely a terrible smell.”
Cabelenus scowled at the monster and wrinkled his nose.
It was only mimicking Rex’s appearance; the monster’s distinctive scent hadn’t disappeared.
It was a rank stench, like water that had long stagnated and rotted.
“A smell? What smell?”
“Can’t you smell anything from the monster?”
“I can't smell anything at all.”
“Me neither.”
“Judging by the fact that neither of you can, it seems only I can smell it.”
Cabelenus’s mouth twisted into a crooked line.
[It is the scent of sin.]
“The scent of sin?”
[It is the mark engraved on a sinner. We also smell the same from that person.]
“But Prime is the one who sinned.”
Alicia furrowed her brow.
[We knew what that man would do. But we turned a blind eye. He was not the only one who envied humans.]
"..."
Alicia wore a troubled expression as the monster lowered its head deeply, as if apologising for its wrongdoing.
The monster’s two ears, which had been perked up as if not to miss a single word she said, now drooped, looking pitiful.
[We do not ask for forgiveness. But this time, we will not repeat our mistake. We have lost everything. We only hope it does not happen again.]
[We do not want to lose you.]
The monster’s two ears and tail drooped weakly, looking utterly forlorn.
Alicia hesitated for a moment, then gently placed her hand on the monster’s head.
“I’m not the god you remember, so I can’t speak of forgiveness. That’s not for me to give.”
[...]
"But personally, I’m truly grateful to you. You have no idea how comforting it is to have you by my side."
A faint smile spread across Alicia’s lips.
It was still hard to understand the monster, but at its core, it was friendly toward her.
No matter what she asked, it answered willingly and did its best to make sure she could understand.
She could at least offer such a monster a small measure of comfort.
・・・・・
“Are you really okay with me leaving for a while?”
“It’s okay. You’ll be back soon, and the monster promised to watch over me.”
"..."
Cabelenus gazed steadily at Alicia.
Even though he knew he wasn’t in a position to just stay put, whenever he looked at her face, he wanted to do so nonetheless.
“You seem more anxious than I am.”
“You’re right. It’s because I’m more anxious.”
Cabelenus opened his arms and pulled Alicia close.
“I’ll be waiting, so don’t worry and go.”
“That’s not a very reassuring thing to say.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I’ve already made you wait enough. I can’t make you wait any longer.”
“Then shall we go together?”
Alicia deliberately made a joking remark and pressed her face against Cabelenus’s chest.
"If it were possible, I would want that.”
His rough hands gripped Alicia’s back and waist tightly, as if holding her in place.
Even if her condition had improved slightly, she was still not in good shape.
Travelling a long distance like this would be too much for her.
“Schwarhan is the safest place for me.”
“I know.”
Cabelenus murmured weakly.
Schwarhan was the ultimate fortress.
Here, strong walls, well-trained soldiers, and even monsters could protect Alicia.
Yet despite that rational reasoning, a sense of unease welled up.
He didn’t want to be separated from her, even for a moment.
“You know, shall we go on a trip later?”
“…A trip?”
“Michael always wanted to see the sea.”
"..."
“After everything’s over, let’s go see the sea together. Just the three of us as a family.”
Family.
The moment he heard that word, Cabelenus’s Adam’s apple bobbed noticeably.
For some reason, the tip of his tongue stung, as if he had shoved a whole cookie into his mouth at once.
But that unfamiliar sensation wasn’t entirely unpleasant.
It felt welcome, like a small warmth nestled in his chest.
“…Alright. Let’s do that. The three of us will go see it together.”
Alicia slowly ran her hand down Cabelenus’s back.
His muscular body, forged through years of swordsmanship, was very different from hers.
It was so strong and firm that it naturally inspired admiration.
But unlike others, she couldn’t marvel with pure admiration.
She knew the man’s body hadn’t been built easily.
“You have to come back soon. I’ll miss you too much otherwise.”
"..."
“Are you not going to answer me?”
“…I will miss you too.”
A lot.
Cabelenus whispered softly and burrowed further into Alicia’s embrace.
・・・・・
[The child’s vessel is fine.]
“…Really?”
[Because the blood is mixed. Nothing like what happened to you will occur.]
“That’s a relief.”
Alicia gently stroked Michael’s cheek.
The child’s hair, soft and fine like a high-quality brush, kept drawing her hand back.
[Do you, by any chance, dislike the power?]
“To be honest, I didn’t like it.”
[Why?]
The monster cocked its head.
“I had to endure unpleasant experiences because of this power.”
[I think I understand.]
“You think you understand?”
[You had everything taken from you. You became unable to enjoy any glory.]
The monster rested its chin on the bed, staring intently at Alicia.
There was no trace of her former self left.
An ordinary human would never have guessed her true identity.
But being special could not be hidden just by trying to hide it.
[Your life must not have been easy.]
Alicia’s power was of the purest kind, stirring human instincts.
Even without knowing her identity, humans would unconsciously sense that she was different from them.
And being different was always easily judged as wrong.
Translator's Corner:
My personal goal is to translate at least one chapter per day (ideally two) so that I can finish this novel off~ (Wish me luck! 🍀)
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