"Good evening, Your Highness. My name is James Nixon."
James quickly showed proper respect to Cabelenus.
"Very well."
Cabelenus acknowledged the greeting with a slight nod.
Through it all, Cabelenus's hand stayed gently wrapped around Alicia’s shoulder.
"If you’re going to continue the lessons, let’s keep them indoors."
“As you can see, Alicia is sensitive to the cold.”
Cabelenus added the remark, then clicked his tongue inwardly.
Even he thought it was a foolish, clumsy show of machismo.
The perceptive man instinctively perceived and guarded against a gaze that coveted what belonged to him, relying more on instinct than reason.
"I'm fine."
“The scenery in Schwarzahn is all the same anyway. Just go inside and get it done.”
As if measuring Alicia's body temperature, the back of Cabelenus’s hand brushed Alicia’s cheek.
He had allowed the art lessons so that Alicia wouldn't be bored, not to make things hard for her.
“It felt stifling to stay indoors all the time, so I suggested it.”
"..."
Somehow, her simple comment about feeling stifled made his heart turn cold.
Cabelenus tightened his grip slightly around Alicia’s shoulders.
"And I can't keep shivering in the cold forever. I need to get used to it."
Like the people of Schwarhan.
Alicia swallowed the rest of her words and smiled.
She didn’t want Cabelenus to know she still hadn’t gotten used to living in Schwarhan.
"You don’t have to get used to it."
"Even so, I think I’ve become a bit used to it since I’ve been outside all this time."
"You’re not used to it. You're just frozen."
Unable to watch any longer, Cabelenus took off his coat and draped it over Alicia.
Because of their height difference, the coat dragged on the ground, but Cabelenus didn’t mind and carefully wrapped it tighter around her.
As a result, Alicia found herself unintentionally buried beneath the clothes, blinking in surprise.
"Much better."
Unlike the flustered Alicia, Cabelenus curved his lips in satisfaction.
"But now you will be cold, Your Highness."
Alicia hurried to take off the coat but was immediately stopped by Cabelenus.
"Pick one. Either go back inside or keep wearing that."
His firm gaze left no room for argument.
In the end, Alicia gave up and turned to James.
"If you don’t mind, could we go back inside and continue the lesson there?"
“...”
"James?"
"Ah, of course."
James smiled at Alicia.
But the smile didn’t last.
Once Alicia and Cabelenus turned away, James’s smile disappeared.
He simply stood there, watching the two of them grow more distant.
・・・・・
"Is this the finished painting? Well done. It seems you have a talent for this.”
"Actually, James did most of the work. I barely contributed anything."
"...again, James."
At the mention of the name that kept popping up, Cabelenus muttered softly to himself.
It was just a name.
There was nothing wrong with calling a name that exists to be called.
He could accept that with his mind — but not with his heart.
"Pardon? What did you just say?"
Alicia tilted her head slightly, not understanding what was going on.
Cabelenus took her hand and gently placed a kiss on the delicate skin on the inside of her wrist.
A faint blush rose on Alicia’s cheeks.
"Are the painting lessons fun?"
"Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about regarding that."
"What is it?"
"Now that my mother's portrait is finished, the classes with James are supposed to end."
"..."
Cabelenus tilted his head slightly.
He knew he was being quite childish, but he couldn’t help it.
It annoyed him.
The name of another man, softly spoken from those small lips.
"James is a really good teacher. He’s kind, and he knows a lot, so…"
"So?"
Cabelenus’s unwavering gaze caused Alicia’s eyes to falter noticeably.
Though her face was tense with nervousness, she didn’t stop moving her lips.
Cabelenus said nothing, simply waiting quietly for her to continue.
"I’d like to keep taking lessons from James."
“That is, of course, if Your Highness allows it.”
The short remark Alicia added afterwards was almost too soft to hear.
But to Cabelenus’s ears, it was clear as day.
"…Is that not allowed?"
In response to Cabelenus’s silence, Alicia anxiously bit her lower lip.
Instead of answering, Cabelenus reached out and pressed his thumb gently against her lips.
"Don’t bite."
"..."
"No need to be nervous."
"..."
"Because I’m in a pretty good mood right now."
Alicia’s eyes slowly blinked.
It wasn’t her imagination.
The corners of Cabelenus’s lips were clearly curved into a faint smile.
"It’s a good thing to have something you want."
"It's a good thing?"
"It means you’ve begun to feel desire. And soon, you’ll want even more."
A person with many desires, and who had gained much, could never leave so easily.
Cabelenus’s fingers gently brushed along Alicia’s cheek.
“If there’s something you want, just say it. If it’s within my power, I’ll give it to you.”
“…You don’t know how far my greed might go, and yet you say that.”
A short breath escaped between Alicia’s clenched teeth.
“Hearing that only makes me curious — just how far will your greed go?”
“...”
"Whatever you want, just keep asking. I’m someone who can give you more than you think."
The man’s arrogant smile brimmed with confidence.
“I was joking. I’m already satisfied with how things are.”
“We’ll have to wait and see. Human greed has no end, after all.”
“Too much greed always leads to ruin.”
As time passed, Alicia came to understand more clearly what it was that she truly wanted.
But that desire… was too much.
The feelings she harboured were ones she could never voice aloud.
“It really is strange.”
Cabelenus’s fingers drifted lower, tracing the line of her chin.
“What is?”
Alicia clenched both her fists.
If only his gaze had been cold, it might have been easier to steady her heart. But his generous warmth always left too much room to falter.
"I like a rational and realistic way of thinking, but seeing you like that doesn’t quite sit well with me."
“...”
“I wish you could relax a bit more.”
His golden eyes, with their sharply defined pupils, quickly scanned Alicia’s expression.
Compared to before, it was much better, but he still didn’t feel like he had a firm hold on her.
“If you want to continue the painting lessons, you can.”
But that, too, was ultimately just a matter of time.
Cabelenus nodded slowly.
He was a hunter who knew how to wait — and a hound that never let go once it had clamped down on its prey.
Cabelenus had never once imagined failing to get what he desired.
“Can I really?”
“Yes. But — on one condition.”
"A condition?"
Alicia barely swallowed the breath she had been holding in.
“James. I want you to stop saying that man’s name.”
"James?"
Alicia’s lips parted slightly at the unexpected condition.
“I don’t like hearing another man’s name come from your mouth.”
At Cabelenus’s words, Alicia’s cheeks flushed even deeper.
She was reminded, once again, that this man never hesitated to show his emotions.
She knew she shouldn’t be happy about it, but Alicia liked the man who spoke, looking her straight in the eye.
So much so that she wanted to ask why Cabelenus was so bothered by her mentioning another man’s name.
But that was something she mustn’t do.
No matter how obvious the feelings were, sometimes she had to close her eyes and pretend not to see them.
Alicia swallowed the question and gave a small, deliberate nod.
“If Your Highness doesn’t want me to, I won’t.”
“...”
"What’s wrong?"
“I thought it would be enough if you just stopped saying his name. But I was wrong.”
Cabelenus’s brow furrowed ever so slightly.
Knowing that Alicia would no longer speak James’s name eased some of his irritation, but it didn’t quell it entirely.
What he wanted was something else entirely.
"...name."
"Pardon?"
"Say my name."
Cabelenus’s gaze landed squarely on Alicia.
“I-I… how could I possibly call Your Highness by name…”
Flustered, Alicia instinctively raised her hands in protest, only for them to be caught and held tightly.
Seeing her lips move wordlessly, unsure of what to say, Cabelenus knew. This was the answer he had been waiting for.
"Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche."
"..."
“Try saying it once.”
Cabelenus’s hand tightened with tension.
He realised for the first time that just a single name could make him feel this anxious.
A man born into royalty was mostly called by titles fitting his position rather than his name, and those few who could call him by his name have now almost disappeared, leaving only Zerpheus, his sole blood relative.
To Cabelenus, his name had never meant much.
“Um, I…”
Her face burned under the weight of his insistent gaze.
Alicia didn’t know what to do and darted her eyes around, trying to avoid Cabelenus’s gaze, but it was useless.
She was already caught.
“You’ve said it before.”
"When did I ever…"
Then, suddenly, it came back to her. Alicia froze mid-sentence and swallowed hard.
It had been only once, but she had called his name.
“…You heard me?”
She looked up at him, her expression turning stricken.
“Yeah.”
Cabelenus gently brushed his fingertips across the furrow between her brows.
"...I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I said a name that should not be called."
Her voice trembled.
“It’s fine because I gave permission.”
“...”
“More than anything, I thought it wasn’t so bad — hearing you say my name.”
Alicia swallowed again, instinctively.
She wanted to keep pretending not to know, but it was impossible.
Even if she wanted to ignore it, she couldn’t.
Because it was clearly visible what the man’s gaze was saying.
It was the way a man looked at a woman.
Exactly the look Alicia had always longed for.
Nevertheless, she frowned, not knowing whether she should be glad or sad about the fact.
She had always made a constant effort not to forget reality, and so she understood it better than anyone else.
Her relationship with Cabelenus could not be sustained by feelings alone.
He had everything. Alicia, on the other hand, had nothing.
In other words, while she had nothing to lose, Cabelenus had too much.
And it was obvious what kind of choice a man like him would make.
Cabelenus was a man who understood his position more clearly than anyone.
As a noble, the most he could offer her was the role of a mistress.
That was the most rational way to indulge his emotions without losing anything.
‘As long as I can stay by your side, nothing else matters…’
Even wanting more than this to begin with was already excessive.
From the beginning, Alicia had never expected anything from him.
Honestly, if he wanted her to be his mistress, she wouldn’t have refused. No matter what form it took, she only wanted to stay by his side.
Whether it was as a slave or a mistress, there was little difference.
But that was only true as long as Cabelenus remained unmarried.
If he ever took a wife, Alicia would no longer be able to stay by his side.
Even if noble marriages were built on conditions rather than emotions, there still existed mutual respect and duty between husband and wife. A mistress was a shameful presence that violated that respect and those obligations.
No matter how much it was kept quiet, the existence of a mistress was still a blemish on a married person’s reputation — and an illegitimate child even more so. Alicia didn’t want to remain a blemish on Cabelenus.
She didn’t want to be the one to ruin a perfect man.
“…As I thought, I can’t say it.”
"Why?"
Because if she called his name, the feelings she had barely held back might burst forth.
Endlessly reflecting on her circumstances, Alicia quietly swallowed the words she couldn’t bear to speak.
"I don’t want to call Your Highness by name. That’s something impossible."
"You're saying it's impossible?"
Cabelenus’s face visibly crumpled.
“I haven’t forgotten my status.”
"Your status doesn't matter. After all, you're—"
It was then.
The sudden sound of a knock made Cabelenus falter, his brow furrowing as he couldn’t finish his sentence.
He wanted to shout for the person to leave immediately, but his reason still held him back.
Cabelenus clenched his teeth and, with a long sigh, pressed his forehead.
"Come in."
“Your Highness, I apologise for disturbing you while you are resting. I have something to report.”
Gazeff entered quickly, offering a hurried bow to Cabelenus.
“So, what is it?”
“Well…”
Gazeff’s gaze briefly flicked toward Alicia.
“I’ll step out for a moment. Go ahead and rest.”
Cabelenus didn’t miss the brief moment and stood up.
There was only one thing that could not be said in Alicia’s presence.
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