"Are you tired?"
"Sorry. I've been feeling sleepy a lot lately."
Alicia gave a small, awkward laugh.
"If you're really tired, shall we end today's lesson here?"
"Is that alright?"
"Pushing yourself too hard in class won't make your skills improve overnight. Sometimes, you just need a day like this."
James looked at Alicia with a gentle gaze.
"I'm sorry, but I think that would be best."
Alicia hesitated for a moment before nodding and setting down the pen she was holding.
She wanted to hold out if she could, but lately, the sudden waves of drowsiness have been too hard to fight.
"Today's lesson ended earlier than usual."
Madame Morco, who had been quietly watching the class from a distance, tactfully came over.
"I'm just a bit tired."
"You've been especially sleepy lately."
Madame Morco smiled gracefully and gestured to the maids standing behind her.
The maids skillfully put away the drawing tools and set out refreshments on the table.
"Maybe it’s because I’m finally starting to relax."
"You’re getting used to Schwarhan."
Madame Morco placed the prepared tea set in front of Alicia.
Now, Alicia could pour tea for guests just like any noblewoman.
"It’s Melga."
At the faintly spreading aroma of tea, James smiled slightly.
"You seem to know a lot about tea."
"As I wandered around here and there, I naturally picked up a lot."
"Now that you mention it, you said you travelled often, right?"
"Yes, I’ve been to many places."
"That's impressive."
Alicia poured the freshly brewed tea into a teacup and offered it to James.
The delicate patterns on the porcelain teacup stood out, and it was clearly a high-quality item.
James paused for a moment, staring at the steaming cup before slowly lifting his head.
As Alicia savoured the tea’s aroma, she looked much more like a noblewoman than she had before.
"If you ever get the chance, my lady, I hope you travel to many places. All the things you experience will serve as a foundation for your paintings."
"Travel..."
"The world is much wider and more diverse than we imagine, so there’s much to see. It will definitely be helpful to you."
It was something he said out of habit, but somehow, the more he spoke, the faster his voice became.
James eventually stopped speaking and took a sip of his tea.
Though it wasn’t bitter tea, his mouth strangely felt astringent.
"Whenever I read a book, I can’t help but feel curious. It also makes me realise all over again just how much I don’t know."
"Is that so?"
"But, I like it here."
Alicia intertwined her fingers and lowered her gaze slightly.
James nervously fidgeted with the handle of his teacup.
Only one person in Schwarhan didn’t know that the princess of the Christie Kingdom was staying in the castle.
Even though Cabelenus threw a lavish party — one that didn’t quite fit Schwarhan — in honour of the princess, and rumours were rampant that she would become his fiancée and eventually the lady of Schwarhan, Alicia knew nothing.
She just shyly smiled as she practised painting Cabelenus’s portrait every day.
What gnawed at James was the gap between reality and perception.
The familiar story of a commoner woman who mistook a noble’s entertainment for love, surrendering herself entirely.
James knew the predictable end to that familiar story better than anyone.
"...Do you like your life right now, my lady?"
"Yes. I do."
Her answer came without hesitation.
James unconsciously touched his neck.
That action naturally caught Alicia’s attention.
"Come to think of it, you’re always wearing that necklace."
Meeting Alicia's curious gaze, James finally snapped back to his senses.
"...It’s a keepsake."
"A keepsake? Oh... I’m sorry. If I said something I shouldn’t have, I apologise. You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable."
"It’s fine. It’s all in the past."
The soft leather cord brushed his fingertips.
James slowly ran his hand down the cord.
He gently traced the outline of the pendant bulging beneath the clothes.
“They must have been someone very precious to you.”
"..."
"I can’t say it’s exactly the same feeling, but I’ve lost someone too. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose someone."
Alicia forced a smile as she fidgeted with her fingers, and at the same time, James's eyes narrowed. It wasn’t a complete change.
Alicia still carried remnants of her old habits.
James felt a quiet happiness at that fact — even though he knew full well that it was not his place to interfere.
“…It belonged to my sister.”
That must have been why he brought it up — something that didn’t need to be said.
After a brief hesitation, James took off the necklace he’d kept hidden beneath his shirt.
"Your sister?"
"I had an older sister."
James murmured quietly, twisting the pendant between his fingers.
As he did, the locket opened, revealing a small portrait painted inside.
"She's beautiful. Very much so."
Alicia offered a faint smile.
Rather than smile back, James drew in a short breath.
“She was as beautiful as a flower.”
“My lady.”
Madame Morco hurriedly interjected, but James’s gaze remained fixed on Alicia.
Alicia swallowed instinctively.
Beneath the table, her hidden hands trembled ever so slightly.
“Don’t overexert yourself. I think it’s best we end today’s lesson here.”
Madame Morco shot James a brief scowl.
Only then did James look away, tucking the pendant back into his hand.
He knew he’d been rash, swept up in emotion — but he didn’t regret it.
Because the moment the thoughts that had been drifting aimlessly in his mind finally took shape and left his lips, he knew with certainty.
He couldn’t turn away from Alicia.
She was different from his sister.
She still had a chance.
・・・・・
‘She was as beautiful as a flower.’
Alicia slowly closed her eyes.
Alicia sensed they didn’t want her to know, so she pretended not to, even though she had known all along.
‘Flower’ was a euphemism for a nobleman’s mistress.
James believed she was Cabelenus’ mistress.
Alicia eventually covered her face with both hands.
Even though she had prepared herself for this moment, her heart sank the moment she saw it in his eyes — that he saw her that way.
She realised that, to others, she must look like Cabelenus's hidden mistress. But that was all there was to it.
Even though she felt something inside her shatter, there was nothing she could do.
‘Because I know they’re not wrong.’
Alicia’s hand clenched tightly.
Just remembering the way he’d looked at her made her chest throb.
She could endure it.
As long as she could be by Cabelenus’s side, she was willing to endure any amount of humiliation.
“My lady. His Highness says he’ll be late today. He said you should eat first."
"..."
"My lady?"
"Sorry, I got a bit distracted for a moment. What did you say?"
Alicia masked her feelings with the poised smile befitting a lady, as she’d been taught.
Thanks to practising little by little in front of the mirror, her smile had now become quite natural.
“His Highness said he’ll be late and asked that you, my lady, start your meal first.”
“He’s going to be late again today?”
“He’s simply a very busy person.”
"That’s true."
Alicia’s head dropped weakly.
When she first came to Schwarhan, she thought she’d always be by Cabelenus’s side.
But he was busier than she had ever imagined, and lately, even more so. The meals they used to share without fail were now more often missed and seeing his face had become a rare occasion.
Still, there was nothing Alicia could do but wait — just like most mistresses did.
Alicia slumped her shoulders in defeat.
"Are you feeling disappointed?"
“How could I possibly feel disappointed?”
“It’s understandable to feel disappointed from my lady’s perspective."
“I don’t want to disturb His Highness by saying unnecessary things.”
Worried that Madame Morco might say something to Cabelenus, Alicia quickly shook her head.
Madame Morco smiled warmly at Alicia as if finding her reaction endearing.
"He might even be pleased. After all, you just want to see His Highness a little more, don’t you?"
"I..."
“Although it’s good to distinguish between public and private life, there’s no need to be so strict with young lovers.”
Madame Morco gently patted Alicia’s shoulder, offering comfort. But once Alicia’s shoulders had drooped, they seemed unable to lift again.
“I understand that your position carries a heavy burden, especially since you’re still so young. But you’re not just one of His Highness’s subordinates. I don’t think you need to be so cautious all the time.”
"I’m not His Highness's subordinate?"
“You’re the only one who will stand beside His Highness as an equal.”
"It seems there’s some misunderstanding. I’m just..."
Could it be that she hadn’t heard that Alicia was called a slave?
Alicia’s words caught in her throat, her lips parting but no sound coming out.
Schwarhan may have no slaves, but she surely understood the concept of slavery.
Alicia was afraid of how Madame Morco would react upon discovering that the young lady she had served was, in fact, a slave.
“I’ve said it before. I’m already fully aware.”
Madame Morco dropped to her knees in front of Alicia.
Alicia gulped, her mouth suddenly dry.
“The day you arrived at the castle, His Highness spoke to me personally.”
“He said that you would become the lady of Schwarhan.”
Madame Morco's hand gently stroked the back of Alicia’s hand.
Alicia’s gaze blurred for a moment.
Alicia couldn’t grasp what Madame Morco was trying to say at all.
But Madame Morco was sincere.
"…Did His Highness truly say such a thing?"
Alicia’s voice quivered.
She had never once imagined standing proudly next to Cabelenus. She was too much of a coward to hope for such an impossible thing.
She understood that surrendering, instead of clinging to fragile hope, was the best way to lessen the hurt.
For that reason, Alicia found the situation all the more confusing.
"By any chance, did His Highness not say anything to my lady?"
"..."
“Good heavens.”
She thought he was doing pretty well for a man who didn't know much about women, but it seemed that she was mistaken.
Madame Morco clicked her tongue sharply.
There was no need to ask any further.
Alicia’s eyes, reddened and swollen, revealed all that she had been feeling inside.
It was obvious that they had shared the same bedroom without a promise of marriage.
"His Highness was in the wrong."
"It’s not His Highness’s fault."
"His Highness was indeed in the wrong. An engagement isn’t something decided alone. It's wrong to go ahead without giving the other party even the slightest indication."
"But..."
"My lady, look at me."
Madame Morco met Alicia's gaze directly.
"What I'm about to say is not as your maid, but as someone older and more experienced — and as your teacher."
"..."
"His Highness wishes to take the young lady as his wife, but that is only His Highness’s desire — it is not my lady's will."
"But I..."
"There are no slaves in Schwarhan."
Madame Morco’s knowing smile silenced Alicia.
Alicia nervously bit her lip.
She was still staring directly at Alicia.
"I will ask again. My lady, are you really okay with marrying His Highness as things stand? Is that truly what you desire?"
Madame Morco gently, yet with an unyielding gaze, followed Alicia’s every move.
Alicia fidgeted with her fingers for a while before finally pulling her lips away.
"Of course, I want to stay by His Highness’s side. But..."
Was it alright to do so?
Alicia's expression twisted in distress.
Knowing it wasn’t a simple matter, she couldn’t bring herself to speak.
"What is it that you're so afraid of?"
"…Because I might ruin His Highness."
"Is that all?"
Instead of answering, Alicia nodded.
Her voice caught in her throat, unable to make another sound.
"If that's the case, then it's a relief."
She had been worried because the timing was off, but at least their hearts hadn't strayed.
Madame Morco sighed in relief inwardly and gently brushed Alicia’s eyes.
A delicate and timid young lady, who didn’t seem to fit with Schwarhan.
At first, she was worried whether she could survive here with her frail body, but at the same time, it was true that she felt a sense of anticipation.
Though Alicia seemed to shrink into herself, the occasional glint in her eyes showed strength, and if nurtured properly, she could likely develop the fierce gaze of a true beast.
"I know what concerns you, my lady. His Highness is a remarkable man, and standing by his side is no easy role. Even so, I'm someone who sees things through once I’ve made up my mind."
Madame Morco lifted Alicia's hand as if holding something precious, wearing a confident smile.
"Taking care of you is my responsibility, so you should do what you want to do. That's all. The people of Schwarhan have always been warriors for generations. The Grand Duchess of Schwarhan is no different."
"But I'm not a warrior."
"You don't have to wield a weapon to be a warrior. Anyone who can fight for what they want is a warrior."
"…Do you think I can do it?"
Alicia's gaze trembled with uncertainty.
"That depends on what my lady decides to do. My lady hasn’t done anything yet."
‘Try it once, whatever it may be.’
The corners of Madame Morco's mouth lifted.
Alicia had never once disappointed Madame Morco.
Even when given difficult tasks, Alicia had always solved them.
It wasn’t because Alicia was a genius of the century.
She was no different from an ordinary person, and in fact, her lack of education made her less experienced.
Yet, the reason Alicia could handle Madame Morco’s tasks was that she was persistent.
Alicia made anything she learned her own, even if it meant copying the same material dozens of times.
Madame Morco liked that persistence.
Because the more a person was like that, the better they could protect what was theirs.
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