“...”
“...”
Silence fell once again.
Alicia swallowed hard, her jaw tensing.
Cabelenus silently observed her expressions and movements.
At some point, the wavering in Alicia’s eyes disappeared.
She gave a faint nod, wrapping her trembling hands around her shoulders. Her face carried the resolve of someone who had made a decision.
It was the look of someone prepared for what lay ahead.
“Alicia Neustein.”
Cabelenus's voice resonated softly as he came to realise that Alicia's actions were not intended to protect herself.
When their eyes met, Alicia’s gaze wavered, but her hands didn’t falter.
Clink.
An ornate gold pin rolled across the floor.
At the same time, a crease formed on Cabelenus’s otherwise smooth forehead.
Neustein garments were not sewn together.
Instead, a single piece of fabric was styled and secured with shoulder pins or a waist sash to create pleats and structure.
As a result, it was far too easy for the thin, single-layered garment to reveal the skin beneath.
Cabelenus instinctively clenched his jaw at the glimpse of her skin through the half-loosened fabric.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re going to take me, aren’t you?”
A faint smile lingered on Alicia’s lips.
“Take you?”
Cabelenus’s gaze was visibly contorted.
He wanted to shout at her to cover herself immediately, but the sight of someone exposing their vulnerabilities so completely left him speechless.
Not once in his life had he ever lacked female attention.
Many women had tried to seduce him, and some had even flung themselves naked into his bed. Yet, he had never once been moved.
His aversion to touching another’s bare skin had always outweighed any physical desire.
And yet, strangely, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from this shabby woman.
“You may not get what you desire, as I have never been with a man. But I have no intention of resisting. Do as you will.”
“It seems the Princess of Neustein does not find it repulsive that I, an invader who desecrated her land, stand before her.”
“I only know how to surrender.”
Alicia’s gaze fell to the ground.
She feigned composure, but the humiliation of kneeling before him burned within her.
The mere thought of what might happen next made her body tremble uncontrollably, beyond her will.
"You talk well for someone so utterly frightened."
“It’s because that’s the only thing I can do.”
“Then why don’t you use that sharp tongue to make another wish? Not the pitiful sympathy you spouted in the courtroom, but a plea for your own safety.”
Cabelenus sneered, looking down at Alicia with an arrogant gaze.
Alicia’s face, framed by her cascading red hair, looked so pale it seemed almost ghostly.
“All I wish for is that no innocent lives are lost.”
“Are you sincere?”
“It’s only right for those who wish to live to survive, rather than those who do not.”
A faint, shaky breath escaped Alicia’s lips.
Cabelenus turned his gaze away with effort and pressed the brooch on his cloak. Only then did he understand the look in Alicia’s eyes.
She had no will to live.
“If you truly want to die, you might as well end your life yourself.”
Though his words were laced with mockery, Alicia’s expression remained unchanged. Cabelenus’s smooth brow furrowed deeper.
Her trembling face and defiant voice were ridiculous to him, but what bothered him even more were the scars scattered across her exposed skin.
"...How boring."
Cabelenus glared at Alicia with a face colder than a winter storm, then turned abruptly and left the room.
All that remained where he had stood was a brooch, its shape crushed beyond recognition, lying on the floor.
・・・・・
What was that man thinking?
Alicia repeatedly blinked absentmindedly, lost in thought.
A month had already passed since the castle was taken over.
Much had already changed, and it was clear even to a child that even more changes were coming.
The castle, once known as Neustein, had now been renamed Weizen, and new people and goods were gradually filling its halls.
Day by day, the situation stabilised, and within the bloodstained castle, everyone was busy preparing to welcome the new ruler.
Now, Alicia was the only remnant of the old days within the castle.
"Your scars have improved significantly. I shall prescribe you a new ointment."
The elderly physician smiled warmly as he continued applying the medicine to Alicia’s back.
Alicia suppressed a laugh that threatened to burst out from the ticklish touch on her back, her toes fidgeting for no reason.
Although Alicia had been demoted from the last surviving member of Neustein's royal family to a slave, paradoxically, her life was better than before.
“If the treatment is complete, shall I bring your meal?”
The maid, who had been quietly waiting nearby until the treatment was done, politely asked.
Ever since Alicia had been labelled the ‘Grand Duke’s Woman,’ no one in the castle dared to mistreat her.
‘The irony is, that man hasn’t even so much as lifted a finger towards me.’
Cabelenus brought Alicia to his chambers every night, but he did nothing.
He would simply come at night and leave in the morning.
That was all.
"You must take good care of yourself."
When Alicia didn't eat properly and only stirred her soup with a spoon, the maid added a comment.
The maid was particularly sensitive about Alicia’s meals.
When Alicia refused to eat, Cabelenus declared that he would behead everyone in the castle on the days she didn’t eat.
Alicia, noticing the maid's gaze, reluctantly put a spoonful of soup in her mouth.
"Please try some of the other dishes as well. Everything here was prepared with special care by the chef."
The maid explained how each dish was prepared and emphasised how special they were, trying to whet Alicia's appetite, but it was all in vain.
The soup, made by the kingdom’s finest chef with an abundance of ingredients, was the most delicious Alicia had ever tasted. But after so long without eating, her appetite didn’t return so easily.
If it weren’t for the maid’s anxious gaze, Alicia might not have finished even one bowl.
“Is it not to your liking? Please feel free to tell me if there's anything you'd prefer.”
When the maid asked what she wanted to eat, one thing came to mind.
Her mother's disgustingly tasteless soup — made by boiling unknown weeds with excessive water to stretch the quantity instead of using plentiful ingredients.
She thought she could easily finish bowl after bowl of that, but her mother, who had made it, no longer existed in this world.
“No. This is fine.”
Alicia murmured and silently ate the soup, her head bowed.
But no matter how much soup she ate, nothing changed.
The hollow, empty sensation inside her wouldn't fade, no matter how much she scooped with her spoon.
・・・・・
Today was the same.
Alicia folded her hands neatly as she watched Cabelenus walk into the room as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
To be honest, she was scared.
The man’s face remained expressionless, and he kept a calm demeanour, but his golden eyes, with their prominent pupils, resembled those of a beast.
At any moment, he might suddenly bare his fangs and turn into a beast.
“...I have something I’m curious about.”
If things continued like this, it would just be the same repetitive days. No matter the direction, change was needed to bring about a clean end.
Alicia's eyes trembled as she stared at the back of the man sitting on the edge of the bed.
Cabelenus didn’t show any immediate reaction. After a moment, he slowly turned his head towards Alicia.
“What are you curious about?”
Unexpectedly, the man spoke up readily.
“Why won’t you embrace me?”
"I didn’t know you wanted to be embraced by me."
For a moment, silence filled the room.
Even though his remark was made casually, Alicia's mouth grew increasingly dry.
“If that’s not the case, then there’s no reason for you to keep me alive.”
“Do I seem like I’m lacking women?”
Cabelenus tilted his head slightly.
Contrary to expectations, his sleek black hair brushed against his smooth forehead, highlighting his sharp, elongated eyes with glistening pupils.
A man aware of his own worth, he exuded arrogance, yet even that seemed to captivate anyone who looked at him.
Ironically, the infamous killer of Schwarhan was so beautiful that his blood-soaked reputation seemed almost absurd.
Beneath his chiselled jawline, his strong, muscular neck was visible, and below that, the faint contours of firm muscles could be seen through the thin fabric of his shirt.
Anyone who hadn’t seen Cabelenus in person would never have imagined that such a face lay beneath the blood-stained black helmet.
“There’s no other reason to keep me alive.”
"If that were the sole reason, I would have saved one of the other princesses instead. Not a woman who looks more like a maid than a royal."
Cabelenus rested his chin in his hand and scrutinised Alicia’s face.
Thanks to consistent meals and care, Alicia had shed her former ragged appearance and now looked somewhat presentable.
Yet, to his eyes, she was still far from beautiful.
Compared to the prominent women of the empire, this woman with her rusty hair and dull grey eyes was pitifully plain.
“Maybe it’s a passing whim.”
“...”
“Or not. Perhaps it’s pity.”
Cabelenus tilted his head slightly.
His narrowed eyes were scanning Alicia mercilessly, but he still seemed unable to find an answer.
He was fully aware that she was a lacklustre woman.
And yet, those eyes of hers were unforgettable.
He wanted to see her face again, not like this — void of all life — but with clearer, more vivid emotions.
Only then would he feel confident in understanding what he was doing.
“I don’t think someone like you would feel pity for a princess of a fallen kingdom.”
Alicia, however, always had the same expression.
She looked at Cabelenus with the detached gaze of a transcendent observer, as if it didn’t matter whether she lived or died.
"I feel the same way."
Cabelenus turned his body fully towards Alicia and chuckled softly.
No one knew better than he did that pity didn’t suit him.
Nevertheless, he spoke those words with an unreasonable hope.
He couldn't shake the inexplicable expectation of when that woman would look at him with a more human gaze.
“I won’t resist.”
“I don’t have a hobby of embracing a lifeless log.”
“Then kill me.”
Alicia placed her hand over her chest and took a deep breath.
Despite speaking of death, the strong, steady heartbeat transmitted through her palm reminded her that she was still alive.
“Why should I?”
“There’s nothing to gain from keeping me alive. Disposing of useless things is the right thing to do.”
“You talk as if you’re an object.”
“Slaves are objects.”
No matter how well she was treated, Alicia was always aware of her position.
The illegitimate daughter of a king, a princess of a fallen kingdom, and a slave whose use was unclear and might die at any moment.
Nothing in Alicia's life had ever taught her to hope.
“I thought there were no slaves in Neustein.”
“There aren’t, but there are in Blanche.”
Alicia’s unwavering gaze did not falter.
Blanche’s culture was already creeping into Neustein.
It was only a matter of time before this land would bear Blanche’s name more fittingly than Neustein’s.
“Then you wouldn’t mind if I handed you over to an old, crotchety man?”
“If that’s what you want.”
Alicia’s reply came easily, but Cabelenus’s lips twisted in displeasure.
“Why are you so desperate to die?”
“Do I have to explain that too?”
“Who knows? If your story amuses me, I might grant you a merciful death. After all, you don’t plan to take your own life, do you?”
Alicia's expression turned ambiguous.
She didn’t know what Cabelenus was planning, but the word ‘death’ from his lips sounded strangely tempting.
“...I’m just tired.”
“Tired?”
"No matter how much I struggle, when I go through situations where I can’t do anything hundreds of times, the first thing I learn is to give up. I shrink back, thinking it’s pointless anyway."
“...”
“And then, at some point, even giving up becomes exhausting. That’s all there is to it.”
“If you’re so tired, why don’t you just end it yourself?”
Alicia glanced warily at Cabelenus.
The man’s expression hardly changed, but his eyes gleamed with unconcealed interest.
Perhaps, she could die this time.
Alicia unconsciously swallowed dry saliva.
“There’s a superstition in Neustein that those who die by suicide can’t go to Rubertine.”
“Rubertine?”
"It is a land where those who lived honourably, doing good deeds in their lifetime, and those who never deceived or harmed others, rest. Those who took their own lives are not even allowed to set foot there."
“I didn’t expect you to believe in such a superstition.”
“...I don’t believe it.”
Alicia shook her head weakly.
Superstitions were nothing more than ancient tales with little weight.
She had always thought it was meaningless to rely on such things.
“Then why abide by it?”
“There’s someone I must meet.”
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