“How is Alicia?”
“She’s currently sleeping.”
“Her meal today?”
“She only had a little lemon water and some fruit.”
“I suppose I should get her more fruit.”
Cabelenus murmured in a low voice.
The bitter reality that he had to be relieved just because she was eating at all was hardly comforting.
Every time he saw Alicia growing thinner, all he felt was a rising fury he didn’t know where to direct.
“We’re making sure she has plenty of fruit. But…”
Madame Morco cautiously broached the subject while watching Cabelenus's reaction.
Seeing the worry etched deeply on the elderly woman’s face, Cabelenus immediately furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong?”
“The young lady said she wanted to eat the soup her late mother used to make, so I searched for the ingredients…”
"How was the search?”
Before Madame Morco could finish, Cabelenus interrupted.
Now, the only hope left was Alicia’s mother’s soup.
"I haven’t found everything yet. But…"
“What is it? Is there a problem obtaining the ingredients…?”
“Most of the ingredients used in the soup were poisonous plants.”
“What?”
A hot breath escaped from Cabelenus’s lips.
It felt like he’d just been hit in the head with a massive hammer.
“It’s possible she unknowingly ate poisonous plants out of hunger, but I think that’s unlikely.”
“Why?”
Cabelenus asked with a somewhat anxious tone.
He didn’t want to accept the assumption that was forming in his mind.
“The soup contained the root of the well-known poisonous herb Pataran, and also the flower of another ingredient, Bex, which grows only on temple walls. These aren’t common plants you could easily mistake.”
“Do you understand what that implies?”
“Yes, I do. That’s why I’m telling only Your Highness and not the young lady.”
Madame Morco sighed deeply.
Right now, Alicia was weakened both physically and mentally.
If she found out the mother she had cherished had tried to kill her, she would surely collapse.
“Isn’t there a chance it was just a mistake? Many plants look similar.”
“Pataran and Bex aren’t plants you’d easily confuse with others. Especially Bex — most people don’t even know it exists. It’s impossible to know where the Bex flowers bloom if you aren't knowledgeable about plants.”
Madame Morco gave a bitter smile.
Knowing how happy Alicia was whenever she talked about her mother made the pain all the sharper.
“…Don’t tell Alicia any of this.”
"I share the same thought. Right now, she needs psychological comfort. So I was thinking, perhaps resuming her painting lessons would help.”
"Painting lessons?"
At the mention of ‘painting,’ a certain face immediately came to mind.
He exhaled softly as the image of a young painter unexpectedly surfaced again.
“Since it’s mostly psychological, I think doing something to soothe her mind would be good.”
“But…”
"Of course, the lessons will proceed without overexertion. I plan to watch over her closely the entire time."
“…Do you think it will help?”
Though the young painter’s presence still bothered him, Alicia’s recovery came first.
If there was even a small chance it could help, he had no choice but to try.
“I don’t know, but for now, we have to try everything possible.”
“...”
"The young lady has been eager to keep painting."
‘Especially Your Highness’s portrait.’
Madame Morco deliberately left those last words unspoken and only gave a faint smile.
What was somewhat fortunate was that even if not her mother, Alicia still had Cabelenus by her side.
・・・・・
"It’s been such a long time."
“...”
“What’s wrong?”
"It seems you’ve lost quite a bit of weight since I last saw you, my lady."
He tried to act indifferent, but he couldn’t stop his voice from trembling.
James slightly wrinkled the bridge of his nose as he looked at the noticeably thinner Alicia.
He didn’t know what had happened to her during their time apart, but one thing was certain: the moment he saw her like that, his heart sank.
“I’ve been a bit sick.”
“What was wrong? Are you feeling better now?”
“I’m fine.”
Though her face said otherwise, Alicia said she was fine as if it were nothing.
Uncomfortable seeing her like that, James reflexively bit down hard on his lower lip.
If he didn’t hold back, he felt that he might blurt out something he’d regret.
“Really, I’m okay. I’m getting better little by little.”
Though she still couldn’t eat most foods, thanks to everyone’s care, her nausea was slowly easing.
‘In the end, I never got to eat my mother’s soup...’
She tried not to show it, but the disappointment was unmistakable.
Alicia still couldn’t forget her mother’s soup.
“May I ask what kind of illness it is?”
“It’s not really an illness. The physician said it's psychological.”
“Psychological?”
“They said if I put my mind at ease, I’d be okay. That’s why I started painting lessons again. When I learn from Nixon, it really calms me.”
“...”
Alicia didn’t elaborate further, but for James, that was enough.
In the end, Alicia had found out the truth as well.
Even if Cabelenus used his power to block Alicia’s ears, rumours were already rampant throughout Schwarhan that Cabelenus would get engaged on the condition of marriage.
‘Damn it.’
James muttered a rare curse under his breath, biting his lips in frustration.
He felt painfully guilty for not being by Alicia’s side when she was struggling — his chest ached again and again at that thought.
“My lady…”
“Yes, Nixon.”
While James’s heart was in turmoil, Alicia remained calm. Her serenity only made his emotions more tangled.
Not only was she confined like the dead, even forbidden to say names freely, and forced to stay indifferent despite knowing he would marry another woman — it was endlessly heartbreaking.
Just like his sister, who had died so miserably.
“...Are you really alright?”
“I really am, so don’t worry. I’ll get better soon.”
A faint smile spread across Alicia’s lips.
The more the symptoms persisted, the more Alicia herself felt anxious, but that didn’t mean she was in a bad state.
It was completely different from the time when she had to endure everything alone.
Knowing how much everyone cared for her, Alicia wasn’t blindly terrified of the unknown illness, even though it scared her.
“My lady…”
“Don’t make that face. I really am fine.”
Alicia smiled again as if to prove a point, but to James, it only seemed pitiful.
His late sister had worn the same expression before she passed away.
Even though the misfortune was obvious, she kept smiling, trying her best to believe in the man she loved until the very end, saying she was fine.
“If I weren’t okay, I wouldn’t have filled up the entire sketchbook you gave me.”
“You’ve already filled it up?”
“I somehow ended up with a lot of free time.”
Alicia smiled sheepishly.
Even though she hadn’t eaten much and her body felt weak and limp, drawing wasn’t a problem.
In fact, when she focused intently, the queasiness would temporarily ease, so she couldn’t help but pick up her pen whenever she could.
"...I see."
Her sketchbook held drawings of landscapes, Madame Morco, and the maids, but most of it was filled with sketches of Cabelenus.
“Remember how I said I wanted to paint a portrait of His Highness? That's why I kept practising.”
Alicia fiddled with her fingers.
She thought her skills had improved, and when she drew other people, she was quite satisfied with the results.
But strangely, whenever she drew Cabelenus, she always felt something was missing.
If she drew his front view, she wanted to draw his profile next; if she captured his expressionless face, she’d want to paint him smiling as well.
Rather than just a casual glance, when she set out to draw, she found herself focusing intently on the man’s face, expressions, and every little movement — and the more she observed, the more images of him she wanted to capture.
“How is it? Is it okay?”
“Yes, you’ve drawn them very well.”
James smiled, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Alicia’s sketchbook.
Drawing was a way of pouring out one’s heart.
Even without asking, he knew how Alicia felt about Cabelenus. And that made him even more uneasy.
“In my opinion, my lady shouldn’t just stop at sketches anymore — you can start creating proper paintings."
“Really?”
“If you’re comfortable, how about starting today by painting directly on canvas instead of just sketching?”
“I still feel my skills aren’t enough — would that be okay?”
“To improve, you need to complete your drawings. Just think of it as practising colouring, and feel free to paint comfortably.”
Alicia hesitated for a moment, then nodded in agreement.
“Alright, then I’ll do it. But Nixon, you have to help me a lot, okay?”
“Of course. Madame Morco, could you please prepare the supplies we need?”
Madame Morco nodded silently and stepped away.
As Madame Morco disappeared into the distance to prepare the tools, James seized the moment and quickly spoke to Alicia.
“My lady.”
“Yes? Is there something you want to say to me?”
“No matter what happens, I will always be on your side, my lady.”
“Huh?”
Caught off guard by the sudden vow, Alicia’s eyes widened.
But James didn’t stop talking.
There wasn’t much time to speak with her without Cabelenus’s watchful surveillance.
“If you want to give up on everything, I can help you.”
"What do you mean by that? Why would I ever give up..."
“I know I’m not in a position to say this. However, I don’t want you to end up like my sister.”
“Ah…”
Alicia’s mouth parted slightly.
Come to think of it, James had misunderstood the nature of her relationship with Cabelenus.
“I can guess why you’re saying this, but what you think about me and His Highness isn’t true.”
"Are you saying that because you know what I'm thinking?"
“I’m not ignorant of what a 'flower' means.”
“...”
“I know you meant no harm. That’s why I’m not offended. I know everything you said was out of concern for me.”
Why was that woman smiling even in the midst of all this?
James's tightly pressed lips trembled.
Though it was a conversation that could have been unpleasant, Alicia didn’t seem upset as she spoke.
“But I’m not His Highness’s mistress.”
She simply drew a clear line with confident eyes.
“My lady.”
“I trust His Highness. That’s why I’m still by his side. And I’ll continue to be.”
"…You will end up unhappy."
“No, I won’t. Right now, I’m happy just being by His Highness’s side.”
In the past, she would have felt anxious, but not anymore.
Now, Alicia had conviction.
“So you’re saying it’s okay to live as a shadow?”
“I am not a shadow.”
Alicia shook her head firmly.
Cabelenus promised that he would take her as his wife.
There was no reason to waver.
“His Highness will marry the princess of Christie Kingdom.”
“You must be mistaken. His Highness—”
"Could it be that you still don't know?"
James’s face visibly contorted.
“Don’t know what?”
Alicia stared at James blankly, confused.
The more she looked, the more James’s expression twisted.
“Well, obviously…”
“My lady, I’ve brought the tools you requested.”
“...”
“...”
“Is something wrong? Is there a problem?”
Madame Morco, leading a servant carrying the art supplies, tilted her head curiously.
Alicia took a deep breath and shook her head right away.
“No. It’s nothing.”
“My lady, if you’re feeling unwell…”
“Not at all. Actually, could you help me set up the canvas right away? I want to start painting.”
Though nervous that Madame Morco might notice, it seemed she was only concerned about Alicia’s health and held no suspicion.
The convincing smile Madame Morco had once taught her had now become second nature, enough to deceive even the teacher.
Alicia felt strangely relieved by that as she reached for her pen, pretending nothing was wrong.
But no matter how hard she tried to focus, she couldn’t ignore the words James hadn’t finished saying.
‘The princess of Christie Kingdom… could it be the youngest one?’
Alicia’s eyelashes fluttered like petals stirred by the breeze.
Though she had never been there herself, she had heard of the Christie Kingdom.
Her half-sisters always talked about the youngest princess of Christie Kingdom, grumbling that the rumours about her were exaggerated, and if Neustein Kingdom were stronger than Christie Kingdom, they themselves would be the continent’s greatest beauties.
When her thoughts reached that point, Alicia could no longer hold back and put down her pen.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Cabelenus.
The man she had come to know would never lie just to win her heart. James must have misunderstood.
Still, despite that, she couldn’t help but feel a twisted ache in her chest.
No matter what anyone said, Cabelenus belonged to her.
Whatever the reason, even just the feeling of someone else laying claim to him was utterly unpleasant.
It was jealousy — blatant and vivid.
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