"151, 152, 153… huff, huff… wait, I can’t, do, any, more!"
"You have no perseverance."
"Ah, no, huff… I’m just resting! Huff, huff… I’ll do it again!"
Although he raised his voice with all his might, Michael lay in the field, unable to get up.
Cabelenus glanced down at Michael, who was breathing heavily.
Even considering he matured early, his thinking was excessively mature for a six-year-old.
If his physique had been larger, Cabelenus would have believed he was older.
‘What am I even thinking…'
Cabelenus smiled bitterly.
Michael had reddish-brown hair and grey eyes.
Those were colours he could never have if he were truly of his bloodline.
Michael was not the child from back then.
He was already aware of that.
Still, whenever he looked at Michael, that child often came to mind.
A child, he had only been preoccupied with resenting and hating.
Even now, his heart remained unchanged, and he had no intention of pretending to be a good parent.
Still, lately, his mind had become increasingly complicated.
‘Could it be that I have been tainted by an ordinary man’s lifestyle…’
Cabelenus roughly swept his hair back with one hand.
It was a quiet rural village that could be found anywhere.
It was a place where chopping firewood, lighting fires, and spending peaceful, uneventful days was all there was to do.
It was not a place that suited a man who had wandered battlefields and borne many responsibilities since coming of age.
Nevertheless, he thought it wasn’t so bad.
By forgetting his bloodstained life and spending his days in peace, his sharp senses naturally softened.
Everything felt ordinary.
‘If only I were an ordinary man…’
It was something that could never happen.
But he couldn’t stop the recurring thoughts.
Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche
If he didn’t have such a long name, and if ‘that incident’ hadn’t happened, many things would have been different.
“Mister, can I touch your sword just once?”
In an instant, a clear, ringing voice broke through his thoughts.
Cabelenus frowned as he looked at the boy who was now breathing evenly.
“No.”
“Can’t you think it over a bit more before saying no?”
It wasn’t like showing the sword was that hard.
Michael’s cheeks puffed up like an angry pufferfish.
“That's because there’s no need to think about it.”
"Why?"
"Don’t fixate on the sword. Even if you wield it, nothing good will happen."
“Why wouldn’t there be? Holding a sword is really cool.”
Michael puckered his lips like a bird.
The boy’s gaze was already fixed on the sword hanging at Cabelenus’s waist.
"Thinking wielding a sword is cool — that’s exactly what a kid would say."
“What did you say?”
“Don’t harbour pointless illusions. A sword isn’t cool; it’s just a weapon.”
Cabelenus’s hand casually covered the sword.
He intended to build up the child’s stamina, but he had no intention whatsoever of actually teaching him swordsmanship.
"I also know that a sword is a weapon."
"The sword was made to kill people."
“I know that, too.”
Michael suddenly stood up and looked up at Cabelenus.
The boy didn’t know how to back down.
“My dream is to become a knight. There’s no way I wouldn’t know about swords.”
“A knight?”
“Yes. A knight. A very strong knight!”
Michael's neck reflexively tensed up.
“Wearing shining armour and wielding a sharp sword, defeating all the enemies. Isn’t that really cool?”
“That kind of thing isn’t cool at all.”
“You don’t know what’s cool, Mister.”
Michael clicked his tongue and shook his head.
“It’s not me who doesn’t know, it’s you.”
Cabelenus reached out his hand.
Michael glanced at Cabelenus’s hand with a somewhat sour expression.
“Why are you suddenly showing me your hand?”
Michael snapped rudely and grabbed Cabelenus’s hand.
At that moment, Cabelenus’s face openly twisted.
“Why are you holding it?”
“Weren’t you the one who wanted me to hold your hand and help you up?"
Michael subtly pulled his hand away, grimacing.
It wasn’t like touching it would wear it out, but Michael's annoyed expression made Cabelenus feel unpleasant, too.
“I meant for you to look at it, not hold it.”
“What am I supposed to do by looking at your hand, Mister? Besides, your hand is really ugly.”
Michael annoyingly stuck out his tongue.
“If you hold a sword, your hands will become like that too.”
“Did Mister’s hands become like that because of the sword?”
“Yes.”
The little tongue that had been sticking out suddenly slipped back inside as if nothing had happened.
Michael frowned as if he himself had been hurt and lowered his voice cautiously.
“Does it hurt?”
“Not now.”
“Really?”
Michael brightened and raised his head.
But the cold man didn’t miss the moment and immediately continued speaking.
“It hurt terribly until it came to this.”
“...Really?”
Michael bit his lip, his face full of fear.
“I wouldn’t lie about something like this.”
“That can't be… I really hate being in pain…”
“The pain is nothing like the muscle soreness from swinging a branch a few times. Sometimes the raw flesh got torn and started bleeding.”
“Ugh, gross.”
Michael recoiled in disgust.
He still grimaced from the sore muscles, but that was supposed to be even more painful.
He couldn’t even imagine how much it must hurt.
“For someone who wields a sword, it’s something they have to get used to. Not just the hands, but injuries can happen all over the body, and sometimes, it can even lead to death.”
Cabelenus’s eyes darkened.
It wasn’t something a war hero should say, but the less one knew about war, the better.
Even if one went to the battlefield with a sword and a clumsy yearning, all they would receive was death.
"You just have to be strong enough not to die. Strong people don't die."
"Everyone dies. And if that happens, you would never see your beloved mum ever again."
"I’d really hate that."
Deep wrinkles formed on the child's smooth forehead.
More than anything, not being able to see his mum’s face was the most shocking.
“If you want to keep seeing your mum’s face, stop with the nonsense and take good care of her. Unless you want to end up like this.”
Cabelenus quietly stared at his own hand, following Michael.
Since even Natalie's healing power couldn’t perfectly restore his damaged hands, the man’s hands bore clear marks of his past.
"Most of all, your mum wouldn’t like it if you held a sword."
“...”
"I guess you’ve already heard the same thing."
Cabelenus tilted his head.
Just by looking at the child’s lips that were tightly pressed together in dissatisfaction, Cabelenus could tell what had happened between Alicia and Michael.
"Mum hates it when I get hurt. I’m telling you, Mum still thinks I’m a kid.”
"She hates the idea of you hurting someone as much as the idea of you getting hurt.”
“...How do you know that?”
'Because she loves you a lot.'
Cabelenus swallowed his words and withdrew his hand.
"It's too tiresome to talk any more, so I’ll stop."
"I still have something to say."
"If you have something to say, go home and talk. I'm not your nanny."
“...”
Michael's shoulders slumped at the unexpected scornful response, but Cabelenus's attitude did not change the slightest.
Cabelenus was not Alicia.
There was no reason to try to soothe Michael’s feelings.
“Don’t be upset. If there’s no need to take up the sword, then don’t.”
"Then, why did you pick up a sword? Did you have a reason?"
“...I made a promise.”
"A promise? What promise?"
“Who knows?”
Cabelenus’s pupils flickered slightly.
Michael silently waited for Cabelenus's answer, but eventually shook his head.
"Tsk. Looks like you're not going to tell me again. This is why I can't like you even if I try to."
"What a relief. I feel the same way."
"Anyway, you’re mean.”
Michael snorted loudly and lay back down on the field.
The view of the sky as he gazed up from lying on the soft grass was rather beautiful.
“Then just tell me this.”
“What?”
“What kind of person are you?”
Michael stared intently at Cabelenus.
Since the man’s back was to the sun, the only visible feature in the shadows was the glimmering golden eyes, but by now, those eyes had become quite familiar, drawing Michael’s gaze again and again.
“What do you mean by that question?”
"I’m just curious. Truthfully, you're not the kind of person who would be here."
"I doubt that’s what you really want to say to me."
"I heard the adults talking in whispers. Everyone said that you are a nobleman and that my mum is a runaway concubine."
“Who said such filthy things?”
Cabelenus growled in a low voice.
Although he heard a glimpse of it from Peter, the story spoken by the child was more unpleasant than he imagined.
Defaming Alicia was no different from insulting him.
“It’s not true?”
"Your mum is not a concubine. She’s..."
Cabelenus didn’t speak any further and let out a rough breath.
Michael watched his reaction without missing a beat and clasped his hands together.
"See. I knew it wasn’t true. There’s no way my mum would do that. I know everything. There is no one as kind and pretty as my mum."
“...”
"However, oddly enough, very few people like my mum. That’s why my mum is always busy fighting."
“...”
"I thought you were that kind of person, too. A person whom my mum had to fight against.”
But that wasn't the case.
Michael avoided Cabelenus's gaze and simply wiggled his fingers.
Michael didn’t totally like him, but that man wasn’t entirely unfavourable either.
The fact that the man fought for his mum, brought her medicine, and promised to make him stronger seemed to be okay in its own way.
“Just so you know, I still don’t need a dad. I’m all grown up now — way too old to go looking for one. That’s something only little kids do.”
Michael shrugged his shoulders arrogantly.
"So, the reason why I'm saying this right now is not for me, but for my mum. Do you understand?"
"Again, what nonsense are you trying to say?"
"Actually, that wasn’t the end of what the adults spoke about."
Before Michael could finish speaking, one of Cabelenus's eyebrows subtly rose upwards.
His hand unconsciously caressed the handle of the sword.
"Mister, you’re on my mum’s side, right?"
“Yes.”
"Are you going to protect my mum until I become an adult?"
"I'll protect her regardless of you."
"As always, you’re as annoying as usual, Mister."
Wrinkles formed on the bridge of Michael’s nose.
“You’re no better.”
Cabelenus nodded calmly, his expression unchanged.
“You say I’m just a kid, so why are you so cold to me?”
"You said it yourself. That you’re all grown up."
"I'm going to tell my mum."
Michael gave a menacing look.
"Go ahead. It’s not me who will get in trouble; it's you. You sneaked out today."
“How did you know?”
Michael’s eyes widened like a startled rabbit’s.
Cabelenus clicked his tongue openly, as if to say how ridiculous it all was.
“It’s obvious what you’re up to.”
"Then, why did you train me?"
“It’s better to keep you where I can see you and watch over you than have you cause trouble and put Alicia in a difficult spot.”
Cabelenus's haughty smile caused Michael to twist his lips.
"You’re just trying to get news about Mum from me. You liar.”
“...”
"It’s not just me — Mister’s actions are just as obvious."
"You… definitely don’t take after Alicia."
Then, what on earth was the problem?
Cabelenus frowned as Michael stared at him, determined not to back down.
Aside from his looks, Michael was very different from Alicia.
That fact suddenly grated on him.
If the child didn’t take after his mum, then the resemblance had to come from his father.
Unable to suppress the jealousy rising inside him, Cabelenus turned his head away.
If he looked at that small face any longer, he felt he’d foolishly scrutinise it, searching for traces of the stranger.
"Mister."
“What?”
Cabelenus answered roughly without turning his head.
Because of that, he didn’t realise how much Michael hesitated before speaking.
"You know. About what I was going to say earlier."
"If you want to say it, just say it. I hate beating around the bush."
“...”
"If you have something to say, say it properly."
Despite the urging, Michael stayed silent for a moment.
Cabelenus sighed deeply and stood up immediately.
At that moment, a voice came from behind him.
"Mister, are you my dad?"
“...”
"Please be honest. Are you really my dad?"
The question, asked once more, carried a stronger tremor than before.
“Where did you hear that?”
"The adults said you might be my biological dad."
“...”
"So, I’ve been wondering if you really are my dad or not."
Only then did Cabelenus turn his head.
And then, he swallowed hard.
The boy smiled brazenly as usual, but his clasped hands were trembling.
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