“…Was that the problem?”
“...”
"The reason you rejected me?"
Alicia reflexively held her breath.
The man's gaze as he looked at her was endlessly sharp.
"Michael is an ordinary child. He always has been and always will be. It’s just that the world has its 'what ifs,' you know."
Alicia’s voice trembled.
Even in this moment, she was afraid.
Afraid that the man’s sharp gaze might become a blade that would harm her child.
"I don’t easily go back on a decision once it’s made."
“...”
So nothing had changed after all.
Alicia pulled the sleeping Michael, his face innocent and pure, into her arms.
Even if Cabelenus turned his back on Michael, nothing would change.
Just like before, she would protect the child on her own.
But her throat felt tight.
Without even realising it, it seemed she had held a faint hope.
"I told you. I’d do whatever you want."
“Ah…”
"I’ve decided to protect you and the child. That’s all."
Cabelenus touched Alicia’s cheek with his rough hand.
Worried he might hurt her, his cautious touch never changed for even a moment — and because of that, Alicia had to struggle for a long time to figure out what expression she should make.
“…I can’t believe you. There’s no way I can believe you now.”
"Don’t believe me. Keep doubting me. It doesn’t matter. I’m used to being used and broken anyway."
“...”
Alicia’s pupils trembled.
Looking back, she realised she knew nothing about Cabelenus.
Without knowing what kind of life he had lived, all she had done was vaguely speculate about his life.
Suddenly struck by that realisation, she was rendered speechless.
“I’m fine.”
“...”
"If that’s what it takes for you to stay by my side, then I truly am fine. So, just give me your orders."
“Whatever you desire, I will put it all into your hands.”
A strange light flickered in Cabelenus’s eyes.
The man's eyes were fixed on Alicia at every moment.
In the end, Alicia couldn’t hold back her tears, and her face twisted.
・・・・・
“James. Are you okay?”
“My heart is a little hurt, but my body is fine.”
James shrugged his shoulders playfully, but his expression was not exactly bright.
"I’m sorry. It’s all because of me."
“If that’s what you’re trying to say, I don’t want to hear it at all. I shouldn’t have hesitated in the first place.”
A bitter smile spread across James’s lips.
If he hadn’t hesitated and had grabbed Alicia’s hand during the attack, the situation might have been different.
"This isn’t something for you to feel guilty about. It just means that my powers only go so far."
Alicia lowered her gaze slightly.
It wasn’t James’s fault.
Even though she knew the weaknesses in her ability, it was mostly her own fault for relying solely on her strength and letting her guard down.
"Still, if something like this happens again, please don’t hesitate then."
"...How can I not hesitate?"
When he first saw Alicia’s ability, he simply thought it was a miracle.
He believed that she was far better than the priests who merely spoke of God’s will while deceiving people.
A being who could grant any wish.
That alone made her seem like a divine existence.
But she wasn’t a god.
The ability she possessed was not a blessing, but a poison.
“Promise me.”
“...”
"Please."
“…Is Michael okay?”
Unable to answer, James changed the subject.
Even though Alicia knew it was an obvious deflection, she quietly nodded.
“He was really shaken, so I gave him some medicine and put him to sleep, but physically, there’s nothing wrong. After a deep rest, he should be fine.”
“That’s a relief.”
"It’s thanks to you protecting Michael when you fell."
"At the time, that was all I could do."
James’s gaze landed on the wrist wrapped in bandages.
Though his injured wrist would prevent him from painting for a while, the feeling of helplessness was more agonising than the throbbing pain.
He had never regretted holding a brush instead of a sword, but this time was different.
Unlike Cabelenus, who naturally drew his sword for Alicia, James could do nothing, and that fact was devastating.
"I'm truly grateful. Honestly, even just the help I've received so far would take a long time to repay."
"If you're thankful, don't say things like that. It's not like I did anything significant for you."
"You've been such a great help, it's not like you haven't done anything for me. Besides, this time you even hurt your hand because of me."
"It’s not because of you. I did it because I wanted to."
James furrowed his brow deeply.
In the end, he couldn’t do anything he truly wanted to do for her.
Alicia only accepted what she could return in kind, and never took more than that.
There was always a line with her.
“James, I…”
“You don’t need to apologise to me. And there’s no need to say anything about repaying a favour — not now, not ever.”
James spoke in a somewhat hurried tone.
He thought he was satisfied with their current relationship, but now that things have turned out this way, he couldn’t help but feel increasingly anxious.
After all, the other person was Cabelenus.
The master of Schwarhan, a scion of the imperial bloodline, wielded overwhelming strength and countless possessions, and his mere presence was enough to intimidate.
Moreover, Michael stood between them.
A child who seemed to resemble Alicia completely, and yet, upon closer look, subtly bore Cabelenus’s features.
James knew that Alicia often missed Cabelenus whenever she looked at Michael’s sleeping face.
"We’ve lost our horses, which is a problem, but let’s move for now. We’ll have to take a bit of a detour, but if we cross over to the mountain path on the other side, it should be fine. Only people who know the area go that way—"
“I’m sorry, James. You don’t have to help me anymore.”
"What do you mean? You don't need my help?"
James gave an awkward smile.
"Michael and I aren’t going to the capital."
Alicia glanced down slightly and let out a short breath.
"You want me to return to the capital alone? Leaving you and Michael behind?"
"I can't put you in danger."
“I can’t leave you.”
James opened his eyes wide.
Even though he clearly knew it was dangerous, he couldn’t leave Alicia behind.
"I appreciate your concern, but we can’t stay with you forever."
“…Is it because I’m not reliable enough?”
"I’m worried about you. This time it was just a sprained wrist, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be worse next time."
“Then what about you? You’re in just as much danger.”
James instinctively frowned.
Even if Alicia had powers, that didn’t change the fact that she was in danger too.
"That man said he would protect Michael."
“...”
"So I decided to accept his help."
“Alicia.”
James hastily approached Alicia.
Up close, the corners of her eyes were flushed red, as if she had been crying.
“You said you couldn’t trust that man. And yet you’re going to accept his help?”
"Honestly, I’ll have to be very careful. I still can't trust him completely."
"If you can't trust him, just refuse. That's all there is to it."
James spoke quickly, his voice urgent.
"To protect Michael from those who are aiming for him, we need that man’s strength. He’s the only one with the power to stand against them."
“Who are they?”
"The imperial family. And, the Temple of Prime."
Alicia clasped her hands tightly together to hide the trembling.
None of the circumstances was welcome.
Schwarhan had those monsters, and it was hard to fully trust Cabelenus’s sincerity.
Accepting Cabelenus’s help in this situation might be no different than inviting disaster.
Even so, she couldn’t think of any other way.
“The imperial family? The temple? What kind of nonsense is that? Why would they be after Michael?”
"They seem to think Michael possesses some kind of special power."
“But Michael’s just ordinary now. He has no power at all. If anything, if someone were to be targeted, it wouldn’t be Michael…"
James fell silent and instinctively turned his head to scan his surroundings.
It was something that shouldn’t be said lightly.
“Even if I tell them Michael no longer has power, there’s no way they’ll take my word for it.”
"So, you’re saying you’re going to accept that man’s help? Why — have you already forgotten why you couldn’t go back to Schwarhan?"
“I haven’t forgotten.”
Even now, if she closed her eyes, the golden eyes that had looked down on her vividly came to mind.
And those eyes, filled with such intense, almost blind emotion, also revealed what they desired.
“You wanted Michael to live an ordinary life.”
"Not having an ordinary life is better than living as a tool for the rest of his life.”
“Alicia.”
“I’ve thought about it deeply. Everything from the best-case scenario, where everyone is safe, to the worst-case where everything falls apart. I’ve considered every possibility and mulled it over thoroughly. This is the conclusion I’ve reached, and I won’t change my mind.”
Alicia held her head high and straightened her shoulders.
No matter how much she thought about it, this was the best way to protect Michael.
"If I could keep hiding him, I would — but now that’s impossible. Now that his existence has been revealed, the imperial family and the temple will keep targeting Michael."
She had remained constantly vigilant, worried that some kind of problem might arise.
Even Michael’s age was calculated without counting the time he spent in his beast form, and rather than settling in one village, they deliberately wandered from place to place.
Despite all that, they ultimately found the child.
There was no way such persistent people would give up easily.
“Michael must not fall into their hands. If that happens, he will be ruined.”
“Try not to think so negatively.”
“I’m not thinking negatively; that’s how things really are.”
Alicia’s fingertips turned white from gripping so tightly.
She knew better than anyone what it was like to live as a tool used by others.
If Michael still had any power, he would just be used as a tool. If he didn’t, he’d be considered useless and either killed or pitifully kept in captivity in case he regained his power.
Neither of those could be called a proper life.
“…You know, when I first came to Schwarhan, I was so shocked. The massive fortress built from black stone felt overwhelmingly huge to me. Then just imagine what the imperial palace must be like?”
“You’re afraid.”
“Yes. I’m afraid. Terrified. They’re an immense force beyond my comprehension, and compared to them, I’m just so small.”
Schwarhan, ruled by Cabelenus, was impressive, but it was merely a part of the empire, where the imperial family and the temple held the greatest influence.
Even with Cabelenus’s protection, she wasn’t confident they could stand against them.
"Nevertheless, I want to protect Michael. I would do anything for my child. But…"
Alicia absentmindedly looked up and stared at the sky.
Michael lost his power, but conversely, she regained the power that had disappeared.
"I don’t believe I can protect Michael forever. When the worst-case scenario arrives, the choice I’m left with is clear."
"Don’t say that! The worst-case scenario won’t happen. Never!"
James shouted sharply, but Alicia just stared at him, her expression unchanged.
"Nothing is absolute in this world."
“Alicia…”
"All we can do is keep preparing for countless variables and do our best to achieve the best possible result."
Alicia's gaze gleamed coldly.
Her grey eyes were as sharp as the glint of a sharpened blade.
"That’s why I have no choice but to go to Schwarhan. Without me, the only one who can definitely protect Michael is him."
Alicia closed her eyes and then opened them again.
Her eyes, once set on a direction, showed not the slightest wavering.
“People don’t change easily.”
“I know.”
“You might end up regretting it.”
“Still, I have no choice.”
She had almost lost Michael once already by letting her emotions take the lead.
She had to face reality and make the proper choice.
"I'll make him love Michael. So that, even if I disappear, he will continue to protect Michael."
“Isn’t there a chance that Michael could end up unhappy because of that variable?”
“...”
“What if he doesn’t love Michael? What if he finds out you sacrificed yourself to protect Michael? Even if that moment comes, do you really think he’ll still be able to protect him?”
“I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Alicia’s voice trembled violently.
He was a man who had tried to kill an unborn child just because it might bring harm to her.
If she were to die protecting Michael, it was obvious how Cabelenus would react.
Even so, she decided to trust him one more time. Or rather, she wanted to trust him.
“What if doing your best still isn’t enough?”
“Then I guess I’ll have to borrow even the help of the monsters. At least the monsters won’t harm Michael.”
“Alicia, that’s—”
“Actually, if we assume the worst-case scenario, there’s no end to it. Whether everything will go well or badly, we won’t know until that time comes.”
“...”
"That’s why I’m trying to make the best choice I can right now."
To create an outcome where her child could become just a little bit happier.
Alicia pressed her palm firmly against her chest.
The heartbeat she felt filled her with nothing but joy.
She still had a life left to burn.
Translator's Corner:
Once again, thank you all for your patience with this week's AUP uploads! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)~♡ My eyes are a bit tired from staring at my screen for so long, so I'm going to rest them before translating the other chapters (for ASDUTM) due this week! Anywayyyy, stay safe and take care, everyone!⋆˚✿˖°
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