"I’m willing to listen to whatever you have to say, but I think it would be better if you rest a bit first."
“No. I have to do it now. If not now, I don’t think I’ll ever find the courage again.”
Even as Alicia said this, her nervousness didn’t subside.
The reason Cabelenus despised the unborn child was because of the monsters.
She wasn’t sure if bringing up anything related to the monsters was the right thing to do.
But going up against them without any knowledge was definitely a disadvantage.
There were too many enemies targeting Michael for her to remain silent.
“First of all, Michael is indeed the child from eight years ago. That’s why he resembles you so much, and also...”
“Take your time. I can wait.”
“…He inherited the blood of the monsters you despise.”
After saying those words, Alicia kept her head lowered for a long time.
She knew Cabelenus had probably sensed it already, but there was a difference between mere suspicion and having it confirmed.
"Of course, Michael is now an ordinary child. I can guarantee at least that. But..."
“But?”
Alicia's shoulders trembled slightly at the low, deep voice.
What kind of expression was Cabelenus making right now?
She couldn’t picture it, but she didn’t have the courage to lift her head.
“There was a time when he wasn’t ordinary.”
Alicia clasped her hands tightly together, squeezing them hard.
She had barely said a few words, but every time she parted her lips, it felt like her heart was pounding wildly, and for some reason, she was out of breath.
Even now, whenever she closed her eyes, the man’s gaze, filled with hatred, came vividly to mind.
“…The Emperor seems to believe Michael is controlling the monsters.”
“...”
"You don't have to tremble like that. I have already decided to expect and accept that much."
A warmth touched her shoulder.
Alicia slowly lifted her head.
Cabelenus’s face held no trace of hatred — only concern.
And because of that, she was able to summon a little more courage.
“Eight years ago, that day, I encountered the monsters in the snowy field.”
“You met the monsters…?”
"Yes. I met them. And they saved me."
“I’ve never heard of the monsters saving anyone before.”
“But it’s true. Back then, they were the ones who saved both Michael and me. If it hadn’t been for them, we wouldn’t have made it to the village. We would’ve frozen to death out there in the snow.”
Alicia fidgeted with the hem of Cabelenus’s coat.
Contrary to the stories she had heard, the monsters weren’t violent. In fact, they were almost openly kind.
But that kindness had a clear purpose.
“Was it because of Michael?”
“…As you probably guessed, Michael isn’t an ordinary child.”
"His way of thinking certainly seems extraordinary."
Cabelenus let out a dry chuckle, and only then did Alicia finally loosen her grip.
Her palms were clearly marked with indentations from her nails.
“It wasn’t a coincidence that the monsters disappeared from Schwarhan eight years ago. They simply no longer had a reason to wander.”
“...”
“The monsters had been roaming Schwarhan in search of their king.”
“Their king? You don’t mean…”
“Yes. That’s what they called Michael.”
Alicia’s face twisted in distress.
Cabelenus stood frozen, silently watching her.
“A king, huh? That’s definitely a suspicious word. But how do you know that?”
“The monsters spoke to me.”
“They spoke? Are you saying the monsters can talk?”
"Though it was clumsy, they definitely spoke human language... Does that matter?”
“I've never heard a story about monsters speaking before."
Cabelenus’s brow furrowed deeply.
Though he had faced countless monsters until now, he had never once heard them speak.
Monsters were believed to lack reason, at least according to what was known.
There were no records anywhere of anyone ever conversing with them.
“If you don’t mind, could you explain in more detail? I’d like to compare it with what I know.”
“I don’t know everything either. But one thing’s certain — the monsters have been waiting for a king to pass judgment on something for a very long time.”
“Wait, judgment?”
"What’s the matter?”
Alicia slightly wrinkled the bridge of her nose.
“Something about that word bothers me.”
“It bothers you?”
"It could be a simple coincidence, but..."
Cabelenus gently smoothed the furrowed crease between his brows with his fingertips.
The word judgment wasn’t commonly used, but there was one particular place where it was used often.
“Even if it’s something small, please tell me.”
“…It’s a word often mentioned by the Temple of Prime.”
“The Temple of Prime?”
“Ah, perhaps you’re not familiar with them.”
Cabelenus rested his chin lightly on his hand, a slight furrow forming between his brows.
He didn’t particularly like the Temple of Prime, but their doctrine was considered basic knowledge for the imperial family.
From the moment he learned to read, he had to start reading the scriptures, and only after memorising them perfectly could he finally be done with the tedious religious education.
“It’s nothing special. Like all those in power tend to do, they simply made up a plausible legend to justify themselves.”
"I still want to hear it."
Though he was sick and tired of the scriptures he’d been forced to memorise, there was no way he could ignore the woman’s earnest gaze, her hands clasped as if in prayer.
In the end, Cabelenus nodded.
"The gods loved humans so much that they granted any wish. But over time, humans began to take the gods’ love for granted, and eventually, they even sought to take the gods’ place."
“...”
"Those who killed the gods became hideous monsters and started slaughtering the remaining humans. As the world where the gods had disappeared grew increasingly desolate, only then did humans regret their sins and seek the gods again."
“...”
"Then one day, amidst the desperate hopes of humanity, a man appeared. He banished the rampaging monsters to the snowy plains and brought peace to the people. That man was Prime, a devoted servant of the gods."
As he finished speaking, Cabelenus’s mouth twisted into a crooked smile.
He couldn’t recite the entire scripture — thicker than a span of a hand — so he gave a brief summary, but even speaking it wasn’t a pleasant topic.
“…Is that where the story ends?”
Alicia furrowed her brows.
"Not quite. What I just told you was the origin legend of God Prime. The important part is what comes next."
"What comes next?”
“The Temple of Prime teaches that humans never fully paid the price for killing the gods. As a result, they were cursed with suffering, aging, hunger, and all manner of pain.”
“...”
“They say if the debt of sin is ever fully paid, Prime will grant any wish. But if mankind continues to sin, the monsters will be unleashed from the snowy plains, and the ‘Day of Judgment’ will return.”
A long sigh escaped from Cabelenus’s clenched teeth.
“Do you think the judgment the temple speaks of is connected to the judgment the monsters mentioned?”
“I think there’s a possibility.”
“…Then, is the purpose of the monsters to harm humans?”
Alicia’s voice trembled.
If the monsters’ goal was to annihilate humanity, then she had all the more reason not to give Michael up.
She had no intention of turning her child into a tool of slaughter.
"Or maybe, there’s another reason."
"Another reason?"
“History belongs to the victors. It can always be manipulated or distorted.”
It was hard to take the temple’s story at face value, not after all they had done.
For them, absolute faith was a means to maintain power, and above all, the temple had always used monsters to strengthen that faith.
He couldn’t just blindly believe the temple’s claims.
“Did the monsters tell you anything else?”
"…They mentioned a promise."
"A promise?"
“Because of that promise, they couldn’t leave Schwarhan. They said they had no choice but to wait for their king to return and fulfil it.”
“...”
“To be honest, I’m very afraid right now.”
Alicia lowered her eyes slightly.
That was also the reason why she couldn’t return to Schwarhan.
She couldn’t forget the monsters’ howls, crying out that they would wait for her as she fled like a runaway.
“Not only Your Highness and the monsters, but now I even have to face the Emperor and the temple. It feels like everyone is my enemy, and I can’t hide my anxiety.”
"Then why did you tell me all this?"
“Because I know you’re the best choice. And…”
"And?"
Under Cabelenus’s gaze, Alicia lowered her head slightly.
She wondered if she was being reckless, but she couldn’t help it.
She just wanted to believe one more time.
She wanted to believe that he had changed just as much as she had over the past eight years.
He wasn’t the only one who attached meaning to even the smallest things.
"…Because I want to believe."
“...”
“It’s ridiculous, really. I kept promising myself I’d forget you, over and over, but now that I’m standing in front of you, I find myself wavering after all. I keep finding myself leaning on you.”
“...”
“Because there was a time when you were my everything.”
Of course, he was the one who destroyed that, too.
Alicia let out a bitter laugh and lifted her head.
The man’s pupils visibly trembled as their eyes met.
“I…”
“I was being cautious. To be honest, I still am now, and maybe I will be in the future too. But the truth is, I also feel hope because of you.”
“...”
“That’s why — I want us to try. Even if it’s just little by little.”
Alicia forced a small smile.
Even without strong certainty, she had no choice but to trust for now.
She had to prepare for the worst-case scenario — the possibility that she might disappear.
“I’ll do whatever I can. No matter what our past was like, from now on, I’ll focus solely on protecting Michael.”
"...Do you seriously mean that?”
“That's why I hope you’ll make an effort too.”
For her child — no, for their child.
Alicia slowly reached out her hand.
・・・・・
“It seems the young lady holds the young master very dearly.”
“It looked that way to me, too. But…”
Cabelenus came to a halt and slightly furrowed his brows.
"What’s wrong? Is there something bothering you?"
"It's strange."
“Strange?”
Just asking for help left Alicia visibly tense.
The weight of the past still bore down on her and showed no signs of fading. And yet, Alicia still reached out to him.
Because she put the child before herself.
“She’s blindly devoted to the child beyond what could be explained by just lingering anxiety from almost losing him.”
“Maybe she had no choice but to be that way?”
“No choice?”
Cabelenus raised an eyebrow.
“The young lady had no family, no friends — not a single person she could lean on. That’s why she ended up focusing so entirely on the young master.”
“...”
“In the end, humans aren’t made to live alone. She was bound to find somewhere to anchor her heart.”
“…You sound just like your aunt.”
“Maybe I’m getting older, too. The things I once dismissed as nagging, I keep finding myself thinking about them again.”
Gazeff let out a light laugh and continued without pause.
“Besides, doesn’t Your Highness also dote on the young master?”
“I wouldn’t say I dote on him.”
“Is that so?”
“He’s just less bothersome than I expected. And Alicia cares for him deeply, too.”
Cabelenus’s gaze settled on the window.
He still didn’t quite feel like a parent.
The man, trying to imitate a parent, didn’t know what it truly meant to be one or what kind of parent was a good one.
“Honestly, I’m not confident I can be a good parent. Alicia was the exception, but I’ve never truly felt anything deeply for anyone.”
Whether it was the monster’s blood or the aftermath of the experiments, everything had felt numb ever since.
Even when he saw something good or bad, he couldn’t tell the difference.
All distinctions blurred, and his emotions rarely stirred.
He lived each day trapped in old memories, simply trying to keep the promise he made to his mother.
That was why, once it was all over, he even thought about ending his own life.
He had no purpose to keep living
“Alicia is special to me. That much I can say clearly. But I don’t know what the child means to me.”
“Half of the young master comes from the young lady, doesn’t it?”
“That’s why, without even realising it, when I look at the child’s face, I naturally search for her traces.”
But the child wasn’t her.
Cabelenus let out a sigh, almost a groan.
Just because the child was Alicia’s didn’t mean they could replace her.
“Watching her willing to do anything for the child, I suddenly thought — she’d be willing to die for him without hesitation.”
“...”
"Then, what about me?"
“...”
"Could I have still looked for her traces in the child back then and convinced myself it wasn’t so bad? Could I protect the child simply because she loved him?"
His voice slipped out rough, forced through tightly clenched teeth.
Cabelenus’s jaw was so tense that the muscles visibly bulged.
“I want to give the child everything, without letting him lack for anything. If he wants, I could pass on everything I own. But I still don’t know what the child truly means to me.”
“Is it really necessary to search for a meaning?”
“...”
“If I may be so bold, my aunt once told me that no one is good at anything from the start. It’s by trying hard and repeatedly practising that we get better.”
It was never a question with a clear-cut answer.
There was no single right answer to being a parent, and everyone had their first moments of becoming one.
"I heard that the young lady didn’t want the child at first either. But now, no one loves or cherishes the young master more than she does."
“...”
“I believe Your Highness would do the same. Though you say you don’t dote on the young master, from what I’ve seen, it’s clear you care for him deeply.”
“...”
“Perhaps it’s not that Your Highness hasn’t found what the young master means to you, but that you simply haven’t realised it yet.”
Gazeff smiled softly as he watched Michael running toward them in the distance.
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