Bang! Bang!
Alicia’s eyes went wide at the harsh pounding on the door.
No one in the castle had ever knocked on her door so roughly.
“…Who is it?”
She tried not to show her nervousness, but her voice trembled on its own.
Alicia reflexively swallowed dryly.
Her shoulders were tense.
“Let’s talk.”
Thankfully, a familiar voice came from beyond the door.
With a sigh of relief, Alicia carefully opened the door.
“What brings you here so suddenly?”
The moment Alicia opened the door, Cabelenus strode into the room.
Startled, Alicia turned around and grimaced as their eyes met.
Cabelenus’s expression was stiff — or rather, it looked more like he was forcing himself to hold back his anger.
Even without exchanging a word, the moment she faced the man’s stern expression, she instinctively felt something was wrong.
“There’s a story I absolutely must hear from you.”
“A story? What do you mean, all of a sudden—”
“The power you possess.”
“...”
In that instant, it felt as if her heart dropped.
Alicia hesitated for a while, unsure what expression to make, and at last managed a faint smile.
But Cabelenus’s expression didn’t soften in the slightest.
"Is that power really eating away at your lifespan?"
Cabelenus’s voice trembled, betraying the anxiety he could not hide.
Even though he hated to speak the words aloud, he couldn’t stop himself.
"What are you talking about out of the blue?”
Alicia forced a smile.
But she couldn’t control her trembling hands.
Cabelenus grabbed Alicia’s hand tightly.
"Go to a physician."
“Cabelenus.”
“Hearing you call my name, I need no further words.”
Cabelenus firmly pulled Alicia’s hand.
Alicia looked up at Cabelenus, her face quivering with unshed tears.
“This isn’t an illness a physician can cure.”
“Then we’ll call a priest.”
“A priest won’t help either.”
"You haven’t even seen a physician or a priest yet. Get a proper diagnosis. After that, it won’t be too late to decide whether it works or not."
Cabelenus growled.
Through gritted teeth, he struggled to contain his anger.
"I’m just paying the price for the power I wielded."
"So you’re just going to let yourself die?"
Cabelenus exhaled sharply.
"This isn’t something that can be solved by human strength."
"I won’t accept it. I’ll heal you, no matter what."
"It’s not an illness that can be cured."
"Have you even tried to cure it?"
Cabelenus lowered his head and looked Alicia straight in the eyes.
They were so close that they could feel each other’s breath.
“There’s no need to try—”
“If that’s the case, then fine.”
“...”
“You might be able to say that nothing can be done and leave it at that, but not me. I will never give up.”
His golden eyes, veins clearly visible, flashed sharply.
He had only just managed to reach her, so he couldn’t let go.
Losing Alicia once was more than enough.
“This isn’t a matter that can be simply dealt with.”
Alicia lowered her head helplessly in front of Cabelenus.
But the persistent man didn’t know the meaning of giving up.
He merely kept his gaze on her, following her as she constantly fled.
“That’s something you only say after you’ve actually tried.”
“...”
“From the very beginning, all you’ve thought about is giving up.”
This wasn’t good.
The desire she had forcibly suppressed kept spilling out.
Unable to withstand Cabelenus’s gaze, Alicia eventually raised her head.
Tears had welled up in her eyes.
“…So what am I supposed to do? It’s already decided. If it’s something I can’t change anyway, it’s better to give up and focus elsewhere. That’s the best course of action.”
“My top priority is that you stay alive.”
“I…”
Alicia’s eyes, seen through her wet eyelashes, trembled.
For her, giving up was as natural as breathing.
She had always believed that if something couldn’t be done, it was wiser to give up early and figure out the best approach.
But when she met the man’s eyes, her throat tightened.
She should say she was fine, but the words wouldn’t come.
"Eight years ago, I thought you were dead, so I stopped searching. But you were alive. If I hadn’t given up back then, we would have met much sooner."
“...”
"Had that been the case, you wouldn’t have needed to wield such power to protect Michael."
Cabelenus smiled wryly.
“That’s not your fault.”
Alicia shook her head rapidly from side to side.
"I know it’s useless to regret what’s already happened. Even so, I regret it and blame myself."
“...”
“And I made a vow. To never repeat the same mistake.”
“...”
"If I give up now, I know I’ll regret it. I’ll live the rest of my life bearing the guilt of your death."
"That’s not what I want."
Alicia’s body quivered like wings weighed down by rain.
Their hands were tangled together as if caught in a spider’s web.
The strange sensation of his firm, thick fingers slipping between the joints and grazing her tender flesh made her fingertips curl involuntarily.
"Even if you die, I will live on."
“...”
“I’ll survive no matter what, living each day carrying the guilt of having killed you.”
“...”
“I’ll go on like that — rotting away inside, shrivelled and withered, living as if already dead.”
“...”
“So if you don’t want me to end up like that, then live.”
“...”
“No matter what, stay alive and be by my side.”
The breath spilling over her lips felt almost like a brand.
Alicia pressed her lips tightly shut as she stared into the piercing golden eyes, eyes that seemed almost touched by madness.
By now, their hands were so tightly entwined that they could no longer be separated.
The tears that had welled up streamed down Alicia’s cheeks.
“I can’t live without you.”
Along with that remark, Cabelenus slowly knelt before Alicia.
Even then, their hands remained firmly clasped.
"Whenever I faced a problem, I clung to it no matter what to find a solution. And in the end, I managed to find the answer."
“...”
“Let us find a way. That will be enough. You are not going to die.”
“…And if there’s no way?”
“Even if there isn’t one, I’ll find a way.”
“False hope only drains a person dry.”
Alicia shook her head slightly.
A lock of her reddish-brown hair slid down and tickled the back of Cabelenus’s hand.
Cabelenus fixed his gaze with resolve.
“I’m not talking about false hope — I’m talking about a goal.”
“...”
“I’ve decided to protect both you and Michael. That’s all.”
“...Will I survive?”
Her murmuring voice was so soft it required effort to hear, yet it came through clearly to the man’s ears.
He was listening intently to her voice.
“You will survive.”
“I…”
“You’re going to live. I’ll make sure of it. So please, don’t give up.”
“...”
“The truth is, you don’t want to die either.”
He thought he had forgotten how to cry, but he hadn’t.
Cabelenus clenched his teeth as his eyes stung.
Watching the man struggle to hold back his tears, Alicia let out the breath she’d been holding.
“…You’re always like this. Time and again, you make me want to keep living.”
Alicia clenched her hands.
Then, she slowly pulled Cabelenus toward her.
Once more, their breaths brushed against each other’s faces as they drew close.
“You’re always like that, too. Time and again, you make me lose my mind.”
Cabelenus tilted his head and kissed the corner of Alicia’s eye.
The kiss pressed to her damp lashes was salty, but the gaze he looked up at was sweet.
As long as he remembered this taste, he could never again return to the time when he couldn’t taste it.
・・・・・
“What’s going on? Why do you look like you just chewed on a bug?”
“It seems a problem has arisen.”
Fenrir paused while reading the letter and pressed his forehead.
Deep wrinkles were etched into his smooth forehead.
“A problem? Surely you’re not saying they found out we’re the ones spreading the rumours?”
"No. That’s not the case."
“Then?”
Cher thumped the table impatiently, urging him on.
But Fenrir did nothing more than glare at the letter, showing no particular reaction.
“Fine! If you won’t tell me, I’ll just see for myself… What? This is…”
As Cher snatched the letter from Fenrir’s hand and read it, his face twisted.
The letter contained content that shouldn’t have been there.
"First, we need to meet with the Grand Duke."
“I guess that’s for the best. If what this letter says is true, our contract will fall apart.”
"It’s not just a matter of the contract falling apart—”
“...”
“No, that was a slip of the tongue on my part.”
Fenrir ruffled his hair roughly.
“You fool. If you’re going to hide something, do it properly.”
At Cher’s biting words, Fenrir’s straight shoulders slumped.
He had tried, in his own way, to avoid running into Alicia by locking himself in his room to work except for meeting times. But no matter what, he couldn’t get the woman’s face out of his mind.
“She’s someone you can’t have anyway.”
“I know.”
“Is that how someone who claims to know acts?”
“…It just feels strange to think it might really be her. I’ve never imagined a reunion like this.”
Fenrir covered his face with both hands.
His earlobes, which he hadn’t managed to hide, had turned bright red.
"You can’t do anything anyway."
Cher clicked his tongue openly.
Fenrir subtly lowered his palms and shot Cher a sidelong glance.
"Do you really have to say it like that?"
"People who can’t keep their heads straight usually only respond to a hard hand.”
"You do realise that I’m the Chief Lord’s bloodline, right?"
"Exactly because of that. Out of six, at least one should actually have their head screwed on right."
With a sneer, Cher thrust the letter toward Fenrir.
Roaquin’s situation was far too bleak for him to simply cheer on Fenrir’s love.
What worsened an already dire domestic situation were none other than the swarming sons of the Chief Lord.
"Enough nonsense. Go to the Grand Duke immediately. If what's written there is true, the woman you're so obsessed with won't be safe."
“The Grand Duke will not abandon her.”
"Your father sold you to me. He figured, since he had so many sons, he might as well sell one off as a hostage."
"Do you really have to say it so cruelly?"
Fenrir scrunched up his face in annoyance.
“That’s the way power works. You can’t see it, yet its influence is immense, always bending and beguiling people. If it affects even blood relatives, imagine what it does to lovers.”
"He’s the kind of person who said he’d do anything for her."
“You only know a person’s true nature when you’ve seen their lowest point.”
With a look of disdain, Cher shook his head and once again held the letter out to Fenrir.
Fenrir pouted as he took the letter.
"If you ask me, Sir, you really have no sense of romance."
"Romance is something you can afford to have only once you’re not struggling to survive."
"Of course, you’d know all about that."
Fenrir carelessly stuffed the letter into his pocket before turning away.
Cher watched Fenrir’s retreating figure in silence and heaved a long, weary sigh.
“Fenrir.”
"Why did you call for me, Sir?"
“Even if the Grand Duke abandons that woman, don’t you dare think of taking her in.”
“...”
"Just promise me that one thing before you go."
Cher quietly gazed at Fenrir, who did not look back.
He never said it aloud, but he knew Fenrir had been doing well all along.
He couldn’t allow the tower they had painstakingly built to be brought down over a single woman.
“You worry too much, Sir.”
“It’s because you’re not acting like yourself.”
“To be honest, I am a little shaken.”
“Shaken?”
“Honestly, if she’s no longer the Grand Duke’s woman, there’s no problem at all, is there?”
Fenrir calmly turned his body.
At some point, his eyes had softened into a graceful curve.
“You sure know how to run that mouth of yours.”
“The mouth is meant for speaking, after all.”
“It's not made for talking nonsense.”
“It’s not nonsense. They say love is forgotten with love. If she parts ways with the Grand Duke, wouldn’t I have a chance too?”
"..."
“Even like this, I’m not unattractive, you know?”
Unable to hold back any longer, Cher sprang up, kicking his chair, as Fenrir tilted his head.
“What — love? What is this crazy guy talking about?”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not planning to go after someone who’s already taken. I do have at least that much morality.”
“You know that’s not what the problem is!”
Fenrir effortlessly dodged Cher’s charge and dashed quickly toward the door.
"Well? I’m not sure?"
“Fenrir!”
Cher’s face and neck flushed bright red.
Even if he tried to see it in a positive light, the smiling Fenrir was no stranger to him.
“Sir, don’t overthink things. This was a simple matter from the start.”
“A simple matter?”
“If the Grand Duke says he’ll protect her, I’ll protect her with him; if he abandons her, then I’ll protect her myself.”
“You little—!”
“No matter how angry you get, it’s no use. It was the very first thought that came to me the moment I read the letter.”
Fenrir caught Cher’s raised hand and firmly guided it back down.
Cher grimaced, breathing hard in frustration, unable to match Fenrir’s strength no matter how hard he tried.
“Just what is that woman to you?”
“She’s the person who made it possible for me to be here now.”
Nothing could be done for the dead, but the living were different.
That was the thought Fenrir arrived at after long hours of seclusion.
"That woman won’t know anything."
“It’s fine. I know.”
Fenrir grinned as he opened the door.
⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡ ⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆
If you notice any errors or broken links, please let me know and I will get that fixed~ Additionally, if you would like to support me, I have a Ko-fi ~ Thank you! 💖