Chapter 98: Please Cherish Him
- Reira ☾⋆⁺₊✧ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
- Oct 13, 2025
- 8 min read
Updated: Nov 5, 2025
“Why do you think you’re a monster?”
“The monsters only come to me. And…”
Michael swallowed his words and lowered his head.
The words: ‘What if Mum becomes unhappy because of me?’ lingered on his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to say them.
If he heard such words even from Cabelenus, it would truly feel like everything was over.
“And? What comes next?”
“I don’t want to say.”
Michael buried his face in Cabelenus’s shoulder and shook his head.
Cabelenus looked at the round head of the child for a moment, then turned his gaze back to the path ahead.
“If you don’t want to, then don’t.”
“…Are you really not going to ask?”
“You said you don’t want to say it.”
“…It’s because I’m scared.”
Cabelenus furrowed his brows at the soft fingertips tickling the nape of his neck.
“What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared I really might be a monster.”
“...”
“If that’s the case, I won’t be able to stay with Mum. Monsters—”
“Stop.”
Cabelenus cut him off firmly.
The child’s tightly clenched hands, trembling voice, and the repeated mention of the word 'monster' all grated on him.
Michael was far too small to be talking about monsters.
Far from being a monster, there was only so much the child could do, even if he tried his hardest.
The child needed protection.
Realising this anew, Cabelenus squeezed his eyes shut.
“I don’t know what you’ve heard or from whom, but you’re not a monster.”
“…But monsters only appear in front of me.”
“There’s nothing strange about that. Monsters naturally attack the weaker individuals first when hunting. It’s simply more efficient that way.”
“I’m not weak.”
“You’re weaker than me.”
“...”
If Cabelenus was the standard, then there was nothing to argue.
Michael pressed his forehead firmly against Cabelenus’s shoulder.
Cabelenus tightened his hold on the child slightly.
“You’re allowed to be weak. It doesn’t matter.”
“You said the weak get attacked first.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“...”
Michael timidly peeked out from where he had buried his face.
Cabelenus pressed down gently on the child’s protruding head and averted his gaze.
“From now on, don’t even think about running off to odd places — just come straight to me.”
“...”
“You’re not going to answer?”
“…I’ll think about it.”
“Alright. Do as you wish.”
Cabelenus held Michael properly in his arms again.
There was no reply, but the child still clung to him.
・・・・・
“My goodness, Michael!”
Upon seeing Michael, Alicia hurriedly reached out.
Cabelenus held Michael in his arms and, with his free hand, wrapped it around Alicia’s shoulders.
“Calm down. Michael’s okay.”
“Really?”
“He fell asleep on the way here. He must have been tired.”
“What about his injuries? Is he hurt anywhere?”
“There aren’t any serious injuries, but his hand is a bit scraped, so he’ll need some treatment.”
Alicia frowned as she looked at the child’s hand, dirtied with dust and scrapes.
It was just a small scratch, but it hurt as if her own flesh had been torn.
“It seems that letting Michael roam around so freely just because he looked happy was what caused this mess.”
“Don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault.”
“If I had been keeping a closer eye, none of this would have happened.”
“If we look at it that way, there’s no end to the blame. I’m partly to blame, too, for leaving a place like that unattended. And…”
Cabelenus glanced back at the passage they had just come from.
The passage, now stripped of the lantern light, was pitch-dark.
“What happened in there?”
“A lot happened.”
‘As much as you’ve experienced.’
Cabelenus’s expression hardened coldly as he noticed the bloodstains.
Alicia quickly spoke up, just as she had with Gazeff.
“It’s not my blood.”
“Then whose blood is it?”
“James.”
“Was he the one who attacked you?”
He should have killed him long ago, but he foolishly treated him like a guest.
Cabelenus gritted his teeth, his eyes blazing.
If James had been here, he might have torn him apart right then and there.
“It wasn’t James. It was me.”
“You?”
"I just used another method since talking didn’t work."
“...”
Cabelenus’s expression shifted subtly.
With her faint smile, Alicia looked just as she always did.
Even with the bloodstains clearly visible, it was hard to discern what alternative method she was referring to.
While Cabelenus hesitated, Alicia brushed back Michael’s tousled hair.
“It looks like James hurt Michael.”
“Hurt?”
“I don’t know the full details. But one thing’s certain: he must have deliberately spewed cruel words to hurt him. Yet, Michael followed James so obediently that…”
Alicia let the corners of her mouth droop helplessly.
She had intended to threaten James for more details, but he couldn’t bear the pain and passed out.
The attempt to get a complete answer from him had effectively failed.
But by retracing James’s words and actions toward her, she could roughly infer what he had done.
“There’s a high chance that what James said is related to me. In fact, when the lord discovered Michael, he reportedly reacted sensitively every time I was mentioned.”
“...”
“That’s why I came here. Once Michael was found, I wanted to be the first to hold him.”
Alicia spoke quickly, barely pausing to breathe.
Cabelenus placed his hand on Alicia’s flushed cheeks, her breathing heavy.
Alicia lowered her gaze halfway.
“I should have been more level-headed.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“No, that’s not it. You turned a blind eye to James for my sake.”
“...”
“The truth is, I wanted to keep a connection with him. He helped me a lot, and even though our relationship was twisted, I believed it was slowly improving.”
She shouldn’t have done that.
Alicia tidied Michael’s hair as he slept.
The child’s face, heavy with sleep and oblivious to the world, was swollen.
“Was it because of him that you cried last time?”
“…You knew?”
"There’s no one under me who would dare do such a thing to you."
The corners of Cabelenus’s mouth twisted slightly.
There was a time when he thought hiding something was the same as protecting it, but not anymore.
He had already gone through the regret of not being able to give what he wanted to give.
Now, he no longer kept the woman’s existence a secret.
“What should I do for you?”
“...”
“If there’s something you want, I’ll do it exactly as you wish — you just need to give the orders.”
His golden eyes glimmered.
Alicia instinctively swallowed, her mouth dry.
Then, she moved her lips very slowly.
She already knew what would be the cruellest answer.
“Do as you see fit. I don’t want to worry about that matter anymore.”
Alicia stared straight at Cabelenus.
The reason Cabelenus had tolerated James all this time was because of her.
Even though it was clear what would happen the moment she allowed it, Alicia did not change the answer she had firmly decided upon.
・・・・・
“…Are you saying he told Michael that I’m his biological father?”
Cabelenus pressed a hand to his forehead.
Alicia clutched the folds of her skirt as she looked at the sleeping Michael.
“It was something I had to tell eventually, but I hoped it wouldn’t come out like this.”
“Besides, Michael doesn’t even like me, so it’ll be even worse.”
“No. Michael likes you.”
“Liking someone and seeing them as a father are two different things.”
Michael wasn’t good at hiding things.
The fondness on the child’s face was impossible to miss.
But that was all.
That gaze was very different from the one he gave Alicia.
Michael wasn’t looking at him as a father.
“…Are you going to pretend you don’t know?”
“I’m not sure. Acting like a father now feels ridiculous. It might be better to handle it in a way that won’t shock the child.”
“...”
“He’s still young. For now, it’s okay for him to hold onto the fantasy of a perfect father.”
“If it’s Michael, he would want a father who’s near him, rather than a perfect one.”
“...”
Cabelenus turned his head.
The child who was sleeping soundly looked innocent and pure.
He didn’t suit someone like him, carrying the scent of blood wherever he went.
“Michael likes you far more than you think. He has, from the very beginning.”
A short breath escaped Cabelenus at Alicia’s smile.
Thinking of Michael, who had called himself a monster, still made his chest burn.
“…Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”
Cabelenus’s jaw muscles tensed visibly.
His well-groomed hair was tousled wildly by rough hands.
Even though he knew that words once spoken couldn't be taken back, he regretted it.
Eight years ago, he shouldn’t have said such words.
“Michael asked me if he was a monster.”
“Oh my goodness…”
Alicia covered her face with both hands.
Hot breath escaped through her fingers.
“I said no. But even as I said it, I mocked myself inside. I have no right to say such a thing.”
Cabelenus gave a bitter smile.
He had been the one to call Michael a monster.
It was ironic to feel discomfort at the word ‘monster’ coming from the child’s lips now.
“Do you regret it?”
“Yes. I do. Of course, even if I regret it, nothing would change.”
“It would change our future, you know.”
“...”
Alicia reached out her hand toward Cabelenus.
Cabelenus slowly took a step toward her.
"I can see that you’re making an effort."
“Even so, I have no confidence. It just feels strange, like wearing clothes that don’t fit.”
“Everyone feels that way at first. I did too.”
"…You felt that way as well?"
“There were times it was so hard that I even resented the child. There were moments when I thought maybe it would be better if we both just died together.”
“...”
“I know how shameful that sounds, but back then, that’s how it was.”
Alicia’s eyes grew moist with tears.
Now she couldn’t even imagine such thoughts, but in the days not long after Michael was born, it had been constant.
A child born a beast was welcomed nowhere.
She had always been anxious, afraid her secret would be discovered, and, dragging her weakened body, she fled again and again, crossing the line between life and death more than once.
As her body and mind grew exhausted, the presence of the helpless child who could do nothing but cry endlessly became unbearably heavy.
“But the irony is, if it hadn’t been for those painful moments, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”
“...”
“I realised that simply giving birth to a child doesn’t make you a parent.”
She didn’t know that at the time.
Alicia’s voice trembled.
“So you don’t need to blame yourself so much.”
“...”
“It’s true that you did something wrong, but you’re regretting it and suffering just as much.”
“...”
“That’s why, please see Michael as he is now. Love him as much as you couldn’t before. Please cherish him. And hold him gently and tenderly.”
“Can something like that really make a difference?”
Cabelenus frowned.
A gentle, saint-like smile spread across Alicia’s lips.
“You don’t need to overthink it. From the start, what the child wanted wasn’t anything extraordinary.”
Their hands interlocked tightly.
Cabelenus lowered himself to meet Alicia’s gaze.
“…Would it really be alright to tell him that I’m his biological father?”
“If that’s what you want, then of course.”
Alicia’s fingers softly brushed behind Cabelenus’s ear.
Cabelenus pressed his lips shut and buried his face in Alicia’s lap.
Before long, the hem of her skirt had grown damp.
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