‘I don’t want to be abandoned.’
Alicia looked at Cabelenus with anxious eyes.
She had vowed to survive, but it still felt hopeless.
She had no idea how she could live a normal life like other people.
Nor was there any clear purpose for her life.
The only thing she could look forward to was the man before her.
She desperately wanted to stay by his side, no matter what.
"If I were to judge your worth, I wouldn’t have spared your life."
"..."
"I’ve never measured your worth. It’s just…"
Cabelenus couldn’t finish his sentence and buried his face against her shoulder.
Even though she was so close that he could reach out and touch her, there was an inexplicable emptiness in his stomach.
Even while embracing and caressing her, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t possess her at all.
"...Why are you doing this to me?"
"It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just an interest."
Yes, this was mere interest. It had to be that way.
Even as Cabelenus thought that he tightened his arms and pulled Alicia closer into his embrace.
She was small and thin enough that her body still left space even when he held her, but it felt full when he hugged her.
But that feeling was only temporary.
After a moment of satisfaction from holding her, when he realised that she was not his, everything felt hollow.
The emptiness was proportional to how full he had felt just moments before.
"...Then, what if Your Grace’s interest fades?"
Alicia’s voice carried a trace of tears, but Cabelenus was unaware of it.
"When that happens, I’ll let you go without hesitation."
But could this interest ever fade? Even though he wasn’t sure of anything, Cabelenus mechanically answered.
Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche
He had never once forgotten the weight of his name since the day he was born.
And nothing could ever take precedence over the weight of that name.
It had to be that way.
"...Then, can you promise me one thing?"
"Promise?"
"If your interest fades, will you tell me first?"
She wanted to ask him not to abandon her, but she couldn’t.
Cabelenus was not the kind of man who could be caught just by trying to grab him.
His eyes were always steady, and he clearly knew what his goals were.
Such a man would never show sympathy just because Alicia clung to him.
She was more worried that if she made any weak pleas, he would despise her and push her away even sooner.
"...Do you want to leave me?"
"..."
"Why won’t you answer?"
It was only a brief pause, but to a man like him, even that was unpleasant.
"That’s—"
"No. Don’t say anything. Don’t do anything."
His arm tensed with strength.
Everything was a chaotic mess, like a tangled thread, but he couldn’t muster the courage to unravel it.
It was something that should never become clear.
As long as he was Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche, never.
"As long as my interest hasn’t waned, you’re not going anywhere. So don’t entertain foolish thoughts, and stay where I can see you."
Of course, even though he knew it was a contradiction, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of the woman in his arms.
Cabelenus pressed his lips tightly together, tightening his embrace around Alicia.
・・・・・
Alicia stared blankly at the rose in the vase.
The rose, carefully pruned and free of thorns, had been brought by a servant that morning.
Since that day, Cabelenus had sent Alicia flowers every day.
'I really don’t understand what he’s thinking.'
Alicia carefully tapped the rose with her finger.
The morning dew on the rose dropped onto the floor, one by one.
Everyone whispered that Cabelenus had fallen deeply for Alicia.
They didn’t know what wicked tricks she had used, but they said the fierce man was trapped in her skirt and couldn’t escape.
But the reality was far different from the rumours.
Cabelenus did not embrace Alicia.
After spending several nights together, it seemed his interest had faded, and he had grown indifferent. Recently, he hadn’t even tried to touch her.
Even though nothing else had changed except for the fact that he wasn’t touching her, it was inevitable that Alicia would feel anxious.
Cabelenus had said he didn’t judge Alicia's worth, but that was a contradiction.
Cabelenus was a man who valued everything and measured it, calculating each thing.
It was strange that he had exempted Alicia from that rule.
"The fragrance is wonderful. It seems His Grace really loves you."
"Is it love?"
"Otherwise, he wouldn’t give you such things, would he?"
There was no way she couldn’t understand the maid’s intention, as she opened the box and took out the comb.
The comb, reportedly hand-carved from ivory, was extremely expensive.
Elena, who had been showered with love from her father, had only been able to get one after begging her father.
To fill a whole box with precious items such as this would mean it was a tremendous favour — that was what the maid was implying.
'However, is that really love?'
Elena had done the same for her doll.
Among the princesses, she was the only one who owned a porcelain doll, and she spent every day brushing the doll's hair.
She enjoyed dressing the doll in pretty clothes and accessories.
What Cabelenus was doing seemed more like Elena's actions than anything resembling love.
If it were love, or at least if he considered Alicia a woman, he would naturally want to embrace her.
Especially since she was a slave, someone who should not be treated like a normal human being.
The word ‘consideration’ was not fitting for a slave.
If he wanted her, he would take her, and if not, he would throw her away.
'If this is how it’s going to be, I’d rather be ruthlessly embraced.'
It wasn’t that she disliked being treated well.
But when receiving such excessive treatment, one was bound to be misled, and eventually, a line would be crossed.
Alicia shut her eyes tightly.
Above all, Cabelenus was never going to be someone who stayed forever.
He was the Lord of Schwarhan.
Right now, he was staying in Neustein to manage the aftermath of the war, but eventually, he would have to leave.
‘After all, it would be better to sort out my feelings.’
Once Cabelenus left, a new ruler would come, and Alicia would have to adapt to that.
If she grew too accustomed to the current, absurd treatment, it would be difficult to live as a slave.
She had to stay vigilant and be ready to accept the future that was coming.
Knock, knock—
"The seamstress has arrived."
The knocks that broke her reverie brought Alicia’s focus back into place.
Today was the day the seamstress came.
"Has so much time already passed? Should I tell her to come in right away?"
"Yes. Please do."
Alicia nodded softly.
The fitting for clothes had turned into a weekly ritual.
Cabelenus wouldn’t allow Alicia to wear the same dress more than once.
"Again, it’s a new seamstress."
The maid whispered in a voice so quiet that only Alicia could hear.
Alicia smiled awkwardly.
It wasn’t unusual for the seamstress to change.
After Cabelenus seized power, Neustein began to align itself with Blanche’s direction.
The people, weary of King Neustein’s tyranny, began to see Cabelenus as a hero and started to follow him.
Instead of the designs that focused on highlighting the inherent beauty of the materials, as Neustein’s designs did, they wanted to wear Blanche’s clothes.
However, the clothes of Blanche, which required more accessories, fabrics, and extensive stitching, demanded a great deal of skill, and the seamstresses were often at their wits' end, even over a single outfit.
To meet Cabelenus’s demands, many seamstresses were needed.
"Good day, Your Highness. It’s an honour to meet you."
"There’s no need to be so formal. I'm not a princess anymore."
Alicia shook her head firmly.
Since Neustein had fallen, Alicia could no longer be called a princess.
The maid called her ‘my lady’ because she understood that.
"Then how should I address the princess?"
"‘My lady’ should be fine."
Alicia knew that such a title was overly generous for a slave, but there was no other term to use.
"Understood, my lady. May I take your measurements now?"
The seamstress smiled gently and approached.
It was always a hassle to take measurements whenever clothes were being fitted, but it couldn’t be helped.
With her increased appetite, her body had been gaining weight, so her figure was changing often.
"Do I just need to stand?"
"Yes, please raise your arms, and my assistant will take the measurements."
At the seamstress’s gesture, her assistant, standing behind her, moved.
Without much thought, Alicia raised her arms and turned her back to the assistant.
As always, she felt that fitting clothes was a troublesome process.
"Why isn’t there any progress yet?"
"..."
Alicia's body stiffened at the familiar voice behind her.
"Don’t move. And don’t show that you’re tense. Quietly send that maid out."
A low voice murmured, and beyond the fabric, she felt the sharp sensation of something pointed.
It was a blade.
Realising that, a chill ran down her spine.
"...Kerry, I’m sorry, but could you bring me some water?"
Alicia spoke without turning her head towards the maid.
"Water?"
"I’m thirsty. Please, could you get it for me?"
"Understood. I’ll bring it right away."
The clueless maid nodded and left without a second thought.
Although there was an order to never leave Alicia alone, there were still the seamstress and her assistants in the room.
It would not matter if she was away for a while.
The maid, eager to earn Alicia’s favour, was excited to comply.
"Finally, I can speak freely."
Alicia could hear a laugh behind her, but she still had a blade on her back, so she couldn’t turn around.
She clenched her teeth and glared at the seamstress.
Judging by her calmness, it seemed the seamstress was also in league with Velita.
"What is this nonsense?"
"That’s what I want to ask. Why is that demon still alive?"
Velita’s voice lowered ominously as if she had never laughed.
"You already knew that I was planning to attempt an assassination."
"Weren’t you planning to kill him at the start?"
The tip of the knife pressed harder against her waist.
Alicia swallowed a dry gulp.
"How could I do that when my mother is in your hands?"
"Lies."
"You’re no different; you lied too."
"What are you talking about?"
"The pendant. It wasn’t made with my mother’s blood, was it?"
At that time, Alicia had been too startled to think clearly.
But after taking the time to reflect, the answer was obvious.
Her mother was no longer alive.
"That can’t be true."
Velita tried to sound indifferent, but her voice betrayed her panic.
"My mother died before my eyes. She could never come back."
Alicia's voice trembled.
How could she ever forget that image of her mother, covered in blood, desperately begging?
Dragging her tattered body like a rag, she howled like a beast, yet still begged to spare her daughter’s life.
"She’s alive. How could someone so special die so easily?"
"Because I exist."
"..."
"Because when I was born, my mother’s power disappeared."
If only she hadn’t been born, would things have been different?
If that were the case, her mother would still have her power and wouldn’t have died in that way.
Alicia clenched her teeth to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.
"You always throw people away when they lose their value. That’s why you threw away my mother and me."
"...From the start, you never intended to kill him, did you?"
Velita’s voice echoed lowly.
"Give up on the assassination. That person—"
"Person? Are you kidding? He killed your parents! He’s not a person, he’s a monster! A demon!"
Velita shouted in fury.
"Parents? Who are my parents? To me, the only parent is the mother who gave birth to me. King Neustein and the Queen are the same to me."
"No matter how lowly and tainted the blood may be, how could you say such a thing—"
"What’s wrong with saying such a thing?!"
Ripppp—
Alicia twisted her body violently, causing her clothes to tear on the blade.
Although there was a wound on the exposed skin, it didn't hurt at all.
What truly hurt wasn’t that.
"You filthy mongrel—!"
"Shut up. If you say something like that again, I’ll tear that mouth of yours apart."
Without hesitation, Alicia grabbed the dagger Velita was holding by the blade and threw it to the ground.
Blood dripped from her hand where she had been cut, but she didn’t care.
The wound on her waist, the cut on her hand — none of it hurt.
"Surely, your power..."
Velita hastily stepped back.
Her pale face was now filled with terror.
"Is that really important right now?"
Alicia smiled bitterly.
She had long since lost any power she once had.
If she had any power to begin with, she wouldn’t have let her mother die that way.
"I don’t understand. How is it that, even after regaining that power, you did nothing while Neustein fell? If it were the princess, you could have easily killed that demon, right?"
"Why should I?"
"Why? What reason do you need? You are the princess of Neustein."
When it was convenient, she was a princess, but when her value faded, she was just a filthy mongrel.
Alicia’s face contorted.
The look of entitlement in Velita’s eyes made her stomach turn.
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