・・・・・
"Are you okay?"
“No, I think I’m going to die.”
I handed the "One Drop Hangover Cure" to Cedric, who was groaning in pain. As the name clearly suggests, it was originally created to relieve hangovers, but instead of just curing hangovers, it turned out to have detoxifying effects and helped treat drug addiction. In truth, it was an accidental discovery, like a cow stepping backward and catching a rat. [1] But still, I couldn't help but think that I might be the first in the empire to develop such a potion.
"I don't even have the strength to drink it..."
"What would you have done without me?"
"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten involved in this mess to begin with."
Cedric, clearly in a great deal of pain, responded resentfully, glaring at me.
No, if it weren’t for me, your half-brother would have already ripped your heart out. In a way, I was your saviour. Of course, he would never know that.
"That's why I told you to just pretend. Why did you actually do it?"
"I tried that once, and that sharp-witted guy immediately suspected something."
Cedric continued to grumble, "How am I supposed to fool the ruler of the underworld who has seen more addicts than sane people?"
It turned out he knew this would happen but still used the real drug.
Benjamin must have given him something highly addictive. If I hadn't developed this potion, he would have probably been stuck in that state for life. I slightly grimaced, then let out a sigh and said.
"Honestly, I thought you might actually do it. That's why I prepared the potion in advance."
Because of the drug's effects, Cedric kept fumbling with the lid so I opened it for him. I applied a few drops at the edge of his mouth, and only then did he close his eyes and breathe more easily, looking a bit revived. If he avoided the drug for about a week and continued taking this potion, he would be fully cured. The detox process would be painful, but if he endured just a little longer, his damaged nerves would heal and return to normal.
'Of course, Benjamin must not find out about this.'
Cedric, unable to keep his body steady, kept limply tossing and turning before slowly lifting his eyelids and staring intently at me.
"...You're right. I wanted to burn more fiercely than death, and hope intoxicates people more powerfully than any drug."
It seemed like that was what he wanted to say. Seeing how tired he looked, I draped a blanket over him and asked.
"What does hope taste like?"
"It's intensely, almost devastatingly blissful."
He replied without hesitation.
"I'm glad you like it."
I gently patted his head, reflecting on how he had worked tirelessly like a moth sacrificing itself to a flame. Cedric gave a faint smile and closed his eyes peacefully as if he wouldn't care even if tens of thousands of people celebrated his death.
"So, as a former addict, how does it feel to touch drugs again?"
"The moment you touch it, you're done for..."
His previously smooth and unwrinkled forehead crumpled all at once. Cedric looked as if he were swearing to the heavens that he would never touch anything like drugs again.
"As you said, he’s planning to make me the emperor. There's no puppet easier to control than a drug addict."
"Now, everything has turned out just as you wanted. How do you feel?" He asked.
I responded without hesitation, just as Cedric had done.
"Wow, I can finally be with Fel.”
"Is that it…?”
"That's why I've been pushing forward all this time. To ensure everyone is happy together, forever."
"There is no such thing as eternal happiness."
"Even a fleeting moment of happiness is enough for me."
So, should I live the life of an insect? [2]
Just as Cedric had said, hope was so maddening and intoxicating that it was impossible to let go. I would burn brightly for that moment alone, and if I could be with him, I wouldn’t mind closing my eyes as if falling asleep in his arms.
・・・・・
"What are you drinking?"
Lucas asked without much thought. Walter held a transparent, shimmering potion with a rather beautiful hue close to him, sipping from it occasionally. Curious, Lucas wondered if that potion was the source of Walter’s monstrous strength. Walter paused, looking down at the now-empty vial for a moment, then answered honestly.
"Happiness."
“...”
Lucas fell silent for a moment at the mention of drinking happiness.
"Everyone says you are from another dimension, and sometimes I can truly understand that feeling. Like right now."
Even when it was said that his thinking seemed to belong to another dimension, Walter showed no particular reaction. He simply lowered his head, unwavering. Lucas spoke with a look of indifference.
"Anyway, you are my knight with a fief and a title. How can you not have a single prayer?"
"A prayer... you mean?"
"Yes, when the Night of Heroes comes, you will stand before everyone and declare yourself as my sword. Will you just stand there like a dead tree?"
Lucas scolded him, saying he should at least recite a solemn prayer. Then, looking at Walter, who was just standing there blinking, he slapped his chest in frustration.
"Even if you were a mercenary, if you were born and raised in Roxitant, you would remember at least one of the countless prayers."
Of course, he remembered. He could recite each one of those countless prayers clearly, right here and now. But he chose not to respond.
"..Never mind. I'll have someone pick a suitable one for you to memorise."
Lucas shook his head, muttering, "Who am I to expect anything from you?" and stood up. Walter, the emperor's guard, followed him silently like a shadow. Walter, or rather Felix, glanced at the setting sun outside the window. He stretched out his hand as if to capture the light, then released it, recalling a prayer.
‘Please grant me the fortitude to drink the last drop of pain and the courage to willingly accept that cup.’
・・・・・
There were rare cases of children born with abundant mana, without any particular lineage or connection. Why did this happen? It was simply a matter of luck — just as someone born with genius-level talent in a field didn't acquire it for any specific reason.
However, in the Roxitant Empire, this phenomenon was known as the ‘Dragon’s Miracle,’ a name derived from the dragon in the empire’s founding myth. Abundant mana wasn’t seen as a natural talent but as a divine blessing bestowed by the dragon. To be born with mana was considered a heavenly decree, a destiny marking you as a messenger of the gods. As such, it was your duty to devote yourself to the nation. Under this pretext, the Ministry of Magic would forcibly take children born with magical talent — practically kidnapping them — regardless of their social status. Those who refused faced severe punishment, often accused of treason.
When Felix was seven and Claudia was three, he had loved this little, wiggly being so much that he came to visit and play with her every day since her birth.
One day, Felix held the sleeping baby in his arms, as though she were precious, and gently patted her, saying:
"Please don't teach Claudia magic. Unlike me, who has no other talents besides magic, she has a natural talent as a spiritualist, so there's no need for her to learn it."
It was a time when the Ministry of Magic's relentless summons to answer the call of the nation never ceased. The child left for the Ministry of Magic without another word, leaving only that message behind. When he returned, he had an artifact implanted in his shoulder — something far worse than a leash — and was suffering from severe malnutrition.
"Oh, my dear son. What did those people do to you?"
No matter how much they pressed him about what had happened, Felix just smiled and said nothing special had occurred, brushing it off with the excuse that he was finally able to learn magic properly.
The Chamberlain family members were furious when they found out that the first magic Felix had awakened on his own was healing magic. Clearly, something terrible must have happened. But no matter how much they agonised over it, nothing changed.
Felix protected his family and younger sibling in his own way. After that, he erased countless wounds and scars with magic, over and over again, and even in such extreme circumstances, he never lost his inherent kindness and warmth. Without experiencing the typical turbulence of adolescence, he rose to the position of Vice Minister. But even that had now become just a fragment of the past.
—I never thought you would abandon everything and leave. You bastard...
Larry spoke with a faint voice, trailing off. At the time the devil took a quarter of his soul in exchange for the deal. Then, after a string of curses, he attached Felix's name to it. He seemed extremely upset that Felix had sprinkled ashes on the cooked rice.
"Why didn't you know? I've always been the same since I was seven."
—So, why the hell are you still so consistent...? You don’t seem to realise that I’ve devoured your emotions and beliefs.
"It certainly seems that way."
Although he hadn’t completely lost everything yet, he could clearly sense it slipping away rapidly.
It hurt. A lot.
Worse than when, as a child, he was starved, tortured, and locked in solitary confinement for disobeying the Ministry of Magic’s order to take a life.
Felix hesitated in his steps due to the sense of losing his soul, but he never looked back. Gritting his teeth, he pressed forward.
Even if it was soiled, it remained untarnished.
Even if it was bent, it remained unyielding.
‘Damn it, how much longer? How much longer must I struggle while trapped here? When can I completely possess thisoul and return to the demon realm? By the time this human life ends and he dies naturally?’
Larry spoke up with the determination of a wind that had made a bet with the sun. [3]
—Then I guess you can go back after you've been broken beyond repair and lost even more than you have now.
At that moment, in response to the challenge of whether he could truly act like a devil, Felix smiled like a daffodil blooming in the snow, enduring the fierce wind.
"Do you wish to embark on a journey to find the Holy Sword with me?"
Felix kindly suggested that they go on a suicide mission together.
—...I really hate you.
Larry loathed him, thinking of him as a flamboyant poisonous plant.
・・・・・
—Aaaah! I can't do this anymore, damn it!
Larry couldn't stand it anymore and screamed. He was literally going wild inside Felix. This was because Felix's swordsmanship skills were so poor that it made him want to curse.
—Quit it, I said quit! I'll acknowledge your magic skills, but no matter how many times you practice swordsmanship, you'll never get it!
"Hmm."
—How about something else? A minstrel?
"Well, I could manage simple memorisation or reciting poetry, but I don’t have the confidence to express it with melody."
—Can't you sing?
"That's not your concern."
—You can't, can you…
Larry muttered as he freely browsed through Felix's memories. He unintentionally discovered another flaw in this annoyingly perfect human who seemed to have mastered language from birth. He felt a bit proud but decided it wasn't the time for that.
—As expected, let's use a bow. I can teach you that very well.
Larry desperately tried to persuade him, as if he were trying to sell a product quickly. Even if he had no talent for swordsmanship, he was still a sorcerer. His job involved meticulous calculations and setting precise coordinates. He must have some aptitude for it.
"What emperor would keep an archer as his guard?"
Felix retorted as if to ask what on earth he was talking about.
—No emperor has a swordsman with such poor skills by their side either.
“...”
Felix could only remain silent at Larry’s sharp remark. Felix had never held a sword except during physical training. Holding a weapon was for protecting someone precious, and to protect them, one must master how to deliver a proper strike. In magic, where various techniques could be learned together, killing was optional, but in swordsmanship, it was the bare minimum resolve one must possess.
He had no choice but to do it. He had to do it.
“That’s... true. In fact, even if I pretend to be righteous now, it's not like I've never had blood on my hands before...”
—Yes, that’s right. It's contradictory.
"Yes, it is contradictory."
Felix muttered as if brutally trampling on his crumbling beliefs. It didn't feel as horribly painful as he thought, perhaps because he had become more numb. He looked silently at his palm, where new calluses were forming, and moved his lips.
"It seems we don't have much time left."
The emperor's condition was becoming more critical, and recently, rumours were spreading that he was on the verge of death. In truth, something could happen at any moment, even today.
Felix asked.
"Your goal is my entire soul, isn't it?"
—Of course.
He added with a grumble, “To be precise, that includes your physical body as well.”
"Then I will borrow the power of the devil to fight and achieve victory. When that time comes, take my soul completely."
It was consent given without hesitation or fear. Though he once declared he would never rely on the devil's power, believing revenge to be solely his burden, the moment he sensed that those around him might be endangered, he unflinchingly offered his soul as collateral.
A selfless individual who consistently placed himself at the lowest point, accepting without hesitation the prospect of being endlessly trampled and worn down. It was a gratifying offer. Larry thought it was what he wanted and had hoped for, and he believed it was the right decision. However, as the situation escalated to this point, Larry found himself not just exasperated but slowly consumed by a creeping fear of that individual's unwavering consistency.
—A soul taken by a devil is the end. There is no reincarnation or anything.
At those words, Felix gently crinkled his eyes and laughed as if it was amusing.
"You're saying something strange that doesn't suit you. I guess it's because you took my emotions."
The person who said such things was the one who had been laughing a lot recently. However, he didn’t even pretend to smile or laugh unless he was around others. Perhaps it was because he sensed the end of his fading emotions.
—You really... don't care about yourself at all?
"What am I supposed to say when you arbitrarily narrow my choices and then say such things?"
—Ah, I don't know. I just suddenly felt like saying that, what can I do?
"You sound like a child who caused trouble without knowing and doesn't know what to do afterwards."
Felix faintly smiled and then closed his eyes, whispering softly.
"This body will turn to ashes anyway, so use it wisely. Instead of burning it, there is someone who needs it… so wouldn’t it be better for the devil to take it?”
Hearing those words, Larry felt a surge of frustration. Was this what humans often referred to as a sense of deprivation? It was strange. He wasn’t even competing with that person over anything. That person was a weak human, one who would die if stabbed in the heart or had his neck broken. And yet, facing him, Larry felt as though he were standing before a high, solid wall that he could never overcome, no matter how hard he climbed. It was a thoroughly unpleasant feeling.
"Will you do as I say?"
—...
“I’ll give you half of my soul as collateral.”
In fact, Larry thought to himself, ‘Why wait until after you fight, achieve victory, and then fall to your knees? It would be quicker to just stimulate your desire and pounce on that woman.’ However...
"I’ll call you Larry for convenience."
For some reason, he suddenly recalled the innocent gaze that had looked up at him and the small lips that had murmured 'Larry,' making him unable to even bring himself to utter those words.
—Okay. That would be good.
Larry readily agreed, unaware that he was rapidly assimilating Felix's emotions at the same speed that Felix was losing them.
・・・・・
Both Felix and Larry made the naive assumption that the situation couldn't get any worse since their interests aligned. Felix had resolved to give up everything he had. The person he would become in the future wouldn't be able to protect anyone, and would only end up hurting those he had tried so hard to protect. So, he decided it would be better to throw himself away without leaving a trace and offer himself as food for the devil.
Larry’s only intention after completing the deal was to take Felix’s body and soul back to the demon realm and become a full-fledged devil. At first, that was all. However, as they became more and more intertwined, their interests began to diverge, and the bar for what constituted a 'worst-case scenario' continued to lower, as if they were trying to set a new record. To be precise, it started when Larry’s thoughts of Irene began to stretch longer. As the memories of her, which Felix had experienced, became clearer with each passing day, a longing to see her again, even just once, began to grow.
"This isn't mine."
“Damn it,” he muttered to himself, trying to shake off the human emotions that were consuming him, but it was futile.
Born with the soul of a devil, he shouldn’t have been affected by such emotions. However, emotions couldn’t be neatly divided or categorised. Stimulating one side affected the other connected parts, and once engulfed, they took over the mind, controlling it at will. That was how he unknowingly awakened to love. Though they shared twelve hours and couldn’t invade each other’s time, Felix sensed something strange and left a note for Larry.
[If I give you my body, where do you plan to go?]
Larry did not reply.
Felix had completely lost his emotions, yet a strange and incomplete form of love remained unmistakably clear. Larry had absorbed all of Felix's emotions, but in the end, everything that remained pointed to love.
[Didn't you say you were going back to the demon realm? You had confidently declared that you would disappear from this land, which is why I was planning to give it to you.]
[It’s not a big deal to just watch her from a distance again.]
[Do not recklessly lay a hand on her. Do not even think about touching her. What do you intend to achieve by destroying what I’ve been trying to protect?]
[Who says I'm destroying it? I took your emotions, so how could I even think of ruining it?]
[Please just leave her alone. Don’t touch her. I told you to let her be, to keep her from getting hurt.]
Although Felix no longer understood the reason or could empathise after his emotions were taken away, he still remembered the desperate feeling that they must never meet Irene again. However, the devil seemed indifferent to the demon realm, desiring only to stay by Irene’s side until her death. After all, to a devil, human time was but a fleeting moment.
Translator's Corner:
[1] This proverb means that the cow, a larger and less nimble animal, unintentionally catches a rat, a smaller and quicker one, while backing up, highlighting the idea of achieving something valuable unexpectedly or by chance, rather than through intention or direct effort.
[2] This sentence conveys the speaker’s contemplation or suggestion, potentially about living a simpler, fleeting existence (symbolised by an insect’s life) in contrast to a more complex or unattainable goal. It suggests a moment of introspection, questioning whether it might be better to live a short but possibly happier life, as opposed to pursuing something more difficult or elusive.
[3] The reference to the "wind and the sun" in the sentence alludes to Aesop's fable 'The North Wind & the Sun,' where the wind and the sun compete to make a traveller remove his coat.
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