Chapter 4
- Reira ☾⋆⁺₊✧ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
- Oct 23, 2025
- 9 min read
Updated: Nov 5, 2025
He looked at Isabel for a moment. His blue eyes reflected the torchlight, sparkling like sapphires. They were like a pristine lake shimmering with glimmers of light. But to Isabel, the form of a demon with such beauty was nothing but repulsive.
“Did you think it through before saying that?”
“Yes.”
After saying that, Isabel set the empty plate and wine glass on the floor and clasped her rosary.
“I’m going to pray. Could you step outside?”
But he didn’t move. Watching Isabel roll the beads of her rosary, he soon spoke, as if amused.
“You almost became one of us.”
Isabel’s hand rolling the rosary stopped.
“You tried to kill yourself. Didn’t you?”
Isabel’s closed eyelids opened. She looked at him. He was watching her with one corner of his mouth lifted. A smile close to a sneer.
“Was it about a year after you arrived at the orphanage? Unable to bear the guilt of being the only one who survived, you slipped away in secret and threw yourself into the lake. If not for the fisherman nearby, your wish would have come true. What a pity.”
“How… did you know that?”
“I told you, Isabel, there’s nothing I don’t know about you.”
Isabel’s hand trembled slightly around the rosary. He took even greater pleasure in Isabel’s agitation.
“You were just a child then. Maybe you’re different now. But there’s no denying that the incident was what set you on the path to becoming a nun. When your attempt to die failed, you completely changed the course of your life. You begged Mother Superior to let you enter the exorcist training academy run by the Vatican, and you drove yourself relentlessly — training with a kind of madness. Everyone admired your unyielding faith. But what were you really thinking back then?”
Isabel glared at him silently. Cold fury settled over her usually unflinching, expressionless face.
“Weren’t you trying to kill yourself in another way than drowning?”
Isabel couldn’t hold back any longer. She drew the dagger she had hidden in her robes and lunged at him.
The man easily overpowered Isabel when she lunged at him. But she screamed and thrashed wildly. He shoved her against the wall.
“You! What do you know?!”
“Get a hold of yourself, Isabel. You may be able to fool humans, but you can’t deceive the eyes of a demon. Your faith isn’t deep enough to endure this. Your faith is nothing but a desire for self-destruction — and revenge. Isn’t that so?”
Isabel shook her head violently, denying his words. But he held her wrists firmly, looking down at her with unwavering eyes.
“There’s evil inside you. Just like any other human. No, your nature is even closer to ours. There’s no place in your heart for things like order, sacrifice, or sanctity. All that’s left in you is the urge to die, and to kill.”
"No! I'm not such a despicable person!"
Isabel screamed like a madwoman. Yet, tears welled up in her eyes.
In the sapphire-coloured eyes that held her, she saw the lake from her memory: the shimmering surface where, at thirteen, she had tried to drown herself.
She realised why looking into this man’s eyes always made her feel especially uneasy. She couldn’t deny it, and she couldn’t stop her tears.
"Accept yourself. You belong with us."
Isabel glared at him through tear-filled eyes.
“No. I will not stand with you. As you said, perhaps there is vengeance in me. Perhaps I have never forgiven myself. But even so, what filled the greater part of my life was hatred for your kind — hatred for those who shattered my world and destroyed everything I had when I was far too young. It’s because of that hatred that I can never take your side. So give it up. Either erase me from existence, or keep me imprisoned here forever.”
He quietly watched Isabel as she glared up at him, both wrists caught in his grasp.
“Your parents are here.”
Isabel’s gaze faltered.
“You should’ve succeeded when you were thirteen. Everyone you left behind is here now.”
Isabel asked hesitantly.
“Are they… alright?”
“Yeah. Except that you’re not with them.”
Isabel bit her lip.
“That’s a lie. How could anyone be ‘alright’ in Hell…”
“This isn’t the blazing pit of sulphur the Vatican spreads stories about. If you opened that door and stepped outside, you’d realise it for yourself. The Heavenly Realm and the Underworld are merely categories God arranged for His convenience, like black and white stones on a Go board. After death, there is no reward or punishment. Only eternity exists.”
When she fell silent, he released her arms. At the same time, her wrists, which had been held too tightly, went limp, and she dropped the knife she had been gripping. He bent down, picked up the dagger, and handed it back to her.
“This is only good for slicing bread. You can’t kill anything that lives here with it.”
He then turned and left.
Isabel went straight to the bed. The rosary with its crucifix, which she had tossed aside when lunging at him, lay scattered on the floor. She picked it up.
“Mother, Father…”
She murmured softly. The faces of those she had lost rose clearly in her mind. She didn’t want to accept his words, yet every one of them was true.
The reason she had decided to become an exorcist, enduring daily high-intensity military training and a workload of study that left no room for sleep, was exactly that.
Unable to kill herself, she had created something to hate — something she could kill instead.
Isabel cried for a long while, staring at the crucifix. She felt ashamed before it, having touched it countless times in the past in search of comfort and reassurance.
・・・・・
Even after that, the man would occasionally visit Isabel. He repeatedly asked if her feelings had changed, yet Isabel barely answered. She stayed silent, trapped in her cell. After watching her like that for a while, he would eventually leave.
Then, one day, Isabel awoke to the sensation of someone brushing her hair back in her sleep. She opened her eyes and realised at once that he was stroking her hair. She sprang up immediately.
“What are you doing?”
He looked at Isabel with his blue eyes. For a moment, her face flushed bright red. Since she usually removed her veil before sleeping, her long golden hair had been exposed to his view. Isabel felt as embarrassed as if she had been seen naked. She quickly reached for her veil and put it back on.
"Aren’t you tired of this kind of life?"
Isabel, wearing her veil, looked at him.
"I mean, living like a prisoner, locked up every day, surviving on nothing but tasteless bread and wine."
“What are you trying to say?”
“Do you really have no intention of coming over to our side?”
"No. I said no. How many times do I have to tell you before you understand?"
Isabel spoke weakly, as if even anger had grown tiresome. He met her with a steady gaze before speaking.
"...Alright, I’ll let you go."
Isabel's eyes widened as she stared at him. His expression was completely calm. Neither mocking nor sly.
“Really?”
"But there’s a condition."
Isabel nodded, as if urging him to speak.
"If you go back, you must give up your clerical life."
"...You mean I’d have to give up being a nun?"
“Yes.”
“That’s impossible.”
"There are plenty of exorcist clergy besides you."
"I vowed to dedicate my life to the clergy when I was seventeen. I cannot break that vow."
"Then you’ll have to remain trapped here forever."
Isabel remained silent. In truth, her heart wavered. She could refuse to side with the demons immediately, without a second thought. But giving up her clerical duties was another matter.
After all, there was ultimately no difference between being trapped here forever and giving up her clerical duties.
Even so, Isabel was not yet so weak as to break the vow she had sworn before God. She shook her head.
"Fine, I’ll add one more condition. I’ll release the prisoners held here."
“Prisoners?”
“Yes, the fifty newborn babies wrapped in swaddling cloths on the day you were dragged here.”
Isabel was stunned into silence.
"On the day you were dragged here, I had my men lying in ambush around the carriage. They killed the paladins and took those children below. Now those children are being raised to become soldiers of our Underworld. But if you give up your clerical duties, I’ll let you go and also send those children out into the world with you.”
Isabel was deeply shaken. In her mind flashed the images of the children whose marks she had personally washed away with holy water. Fifty children. And now those children had been taken into the Underworld to become part of the demon army.
"By sacrificing your clerical calling, you could save fifty children. That’s a noble act in line with doctrine, and it’s something a cleric ought to do."
Isabel bit her lip. She could give up her freedom for the sake of her convictions. After all, she had devoted her life to her clerical calling. But other people’s lives were different. If someone else’s life depended on her decision, she couldn’t cling solely to her own beliefs.
In the end, Isabel had no choice but to say this.
“I… will resign from the clergy.”
"Then, you’ll have to prove it."
“Prove what?”
“That you won’t continue as a cleric anymore.”
"How do I prove it? Is there a special way to swear a vow in this world?"
"A vow won’t suffice. Humans are naturally fickle. You must be unable to ever take up your clerical duties again, even if you wanted to."
Isabel looked at him with a puzzled expression. He met her gaze and spoke softly.
“Sleep with one of the demons.”
Isabel’s eyes widened.
“W-what do you mean…?”
He stared at her with a blank expression.
"If you sleep with a demon, you won’t even be able to touch holy water. It will be extremely painful. And much of your spiritual power will be damaged. So even if you tried to act as an exorcist, you wouldn’t be able to."
Isabel was too flustered to speak.
"Anyway, if you’re going to quit your clerical life, it doesn’t matter. You’d just live as an ordinary human. Even if you sleep with a demon once, it won’t leave a mark on your body or change your form. It’s just like sleeping with a human man."
Isabel shook her head.
"That’s impossible. I’m still a nun. Even lying with a man violates doctrine, let alone with a demon…!"
"There’s no other way to prove it. Consequently, there’s no other way to save the lives of those fifty children either. The choice is yours."
Isabel looked at him. He was waiting for her answer with an expression that seemed to say he had nothing more to add.
Isabel covered her mouth with trembling hands and sank into thought. To save fifty children and gain her freedom, or to remain imprisoned forever and see them forged into soldiers for the demons. She was forced to choose between the two.
Despite asking her to choose, there was no actual choice in the matter.
"I have one question."
He wore an expression that invited her to speak freely.
"You can keep me imprisoned for as long as you want. It doesn’t matter to you whether I stay trapped here or give up the clergy. So why are you making me this offer, even if it means giving up the fifty children who could become your demon army?"
He looked at her for a moment. The cold gleam in his sapphire eyes dimmed, sinking into something quieter. It was a strange expression.
"It bothers me that you’re here."
He said that and fell silent, as if it were a sufficient answer and no further explanation was needed.
Isabel didn’t bother to ask further. Even if she knew the reason, it wouldn’t change her decision.
She let out a breath.
“Alright.”
He immediately got to his feet.
"I’ll send someone here within an hour."
"Do I have to sleep with a monster?"
He gave a short, amused laugh.
"Don’t worry, I’ll pick the one that looks the most human and least irritating, and send them in."
He looked at Isabel and smiled. Somehow, his expression seemed strangely relieved.
"Our meeting ends here. I hope you live happily on the surface. Farewell."
He turned and walked toward the cell door.
“Wait.”
He looked back as he opened the door. Isabel was staring at him with a grave expression.
"It’s silly and childish, but… I don’t want to sleep with a stranger."
“You’re asking me to send someone you’re familiar with?”
“As if I’d have a demon I’m on friendly terms with.”
His expression turned quizzical. Isabel bit her lip as she looked at him.
“You’re the only demon I’m even slightly familiar with.”
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