〈 Dine and Dash 〉
Author: Ttukkeong (뚜껑 지음)
Mun Yuseol was the youngest daughter of Mun Sujang, a renowned wealthy figure in Sacheon. She had long been promised in marriage to Tang Geonwon, the second son of the Tang clan, and now, at nineteen, she was set to marry him, as he had just come of age. Thus, they held the wedding ceremony on an auspicious day in May.
The ceremony was modest, not what one would expect for the wedding of the second son of such a distinguished clan, and the guest list was limited. This was due to the bride falling gravely ill during her journey to her in-laws' house, to the point of hovering between life and death.
Her nanny and attendants explained that her fever had not fully subsided, leaving her unable to apply makeup or sit for extended periods. Even for a clan that placed great importance on propriety and tradition, it was impossible to enforce the full formalities under such dire circumstances.
Even though her father’s prominent clients had travelled a long way to attend the ceremony, she did not greet them or even acknowledge their presence. In the end, Mun Yuseol did not show her face to anyone, not even once, until she entered the bridal chamber. She only revealed her face before the groom when she finally lifted the red veil.
"Oh, you’re even more beautiful than I’ve heard…!"
Thud!
Needless to say, the groom fainted as soon as he laid eyes on the bride and remained unconscious until the following morning. It was understandable, as the real Mun Yuseol had fled during the journey, and in her place stood Jang Ihwa, a young bandit from the Gongryeong sect.
The sect leader had ordered Ihwa to steal a hidden treasure from the Tang clan — the Elixir of Revitalisation rumoured to even bring the dead back to life.
"Damn, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go."
Ihwa clicked her tongue.
She was utterly shocked by the groom’s face the moment she saw it. Originally, she had planned to quietly carry out her task while he was in a deep sleep after their intimate night, but Tang Geonwon was so unattractive that she couldn't even bring herself to do it.
His looks were so disappointing that he seemed unworthy of his prestigious clan name. Moreover, his internal energy was pitifully weak, and his martial arts skills appeared to be lacking. He had even fainted from a single punch.
"Is everything alright in there?"
Hearing a loud noise, a maid called out from outside the door. Ihwa responded loudly, assuring that everything was fine.
The unattractive man who was unconscious had an unnecessarily loud voice, a nose as big as a fist, and eyes that were slanted like they were poorly shaped dumplings.
It made sense now why the youngest daughter of the Mun clan, who was originally supposed to be the bride, had willingly undressed upon seeing Ihwa come to rob the palanquin. Since things had already escalated, Ihwa figured she might as well enjoy herself a bit.
After all, what was done was done.
By now, Mun Yuseol was likely riding the horse that Ihwa had mounted, freely roaming the central plains.
When Mun Yuseol eagerly complied with Ihwa’s demand to surrender everything she had, Ihwa took a few coins from her pocket and handed them to her. That should be enough for Mun Yuseol to make her way back to her hometown. As for what happened after that, it was none of Ihwa’s concern.
Ihwa roughly shoved the unconscious Tang Geonwon under the bed, pulled a sack from her sleeve, and swept up all the valuables that had been arranged in the bridal chamber.
“This is my fee.”
If the Elixir of Revitalisation was taken back to the base, it was clear that the sect leader would claim it as his own. Ihwa felt she deserved some compensation for her efforts. Given the scale of this operation, which was too large to manage alone, it was still a profitable deal with plenty to spare.
Of course, she had no intention of simply delivering the elixir into the sect leader's hands. After all, no one knew exactly how much there was. She planned to take half of it. Even half would be enough to live luxuriously for the rest of her life without lifting a finger.
Or perhaps she should swallow it all. If she did, her internal energy would instantly surpass the sect leader's, and she would become the new head of the Gongryeong sect herself.
“Eheheh.”
Thinking sinister thoughts, she tied the sack securely and fastened it tightly to her back. Carefully, she scanned the hallway to check for any signs of life. Once she was certain there was no one around, she pushed the door open and stepped outside.
The nanny, the coachman, and the porters had already fled long ago. They were people from the Gongryeong sect whom the sect leader had assigned to Ihwa for this task. From the moment Mun Yuseol had departed from her parents' home, she had, in fact, been travelling under the escort of a band of bandits on her wedding journey.
‘Now, where could the Elixir of Revitalisation be…?’
According to the information she'd gathered in advance, it was said to be stored in the Tang clan’s hidden vault. Apparently, the clan had only recently come across the precious elixir. An elder who had been in seclusion for training had stumbled upon it, or so the story went.
She didn’t know the exact location of the vault, but if it wasn’t in this building, she guessed it was likely in the one behind it. From her observations on the way in, this seemed to be the innermost part of the buildings lined up around here.
As she ventured deeper into the complex in search of the Elixir of Revitalisation, she came across a room where the smell of medicine was overwhelmingly strong.
"...Is this it?"
She had found a room where the medicinal scent was particularly potent. The door was secured with multiple layers of seals and formations.
Ihwa, a high-ranking bandit of the Gongryeong sect, was somewhat lacking in martial arts but possessed unparalleled talent when it came to agility techniques and breaking through formations. That was why she was chosen for this task. Sure enough, she succeeded in opening the door in less time than it would take to drink a cup of tea.
‘This is too easy.’
The Tang clan was renowned for their poison and assassination techniques, but their skill in seals and formations seemed lacklustre. Or perhaps, it was simply that she was far too talented. Smiling to herself, she carefully pushed the door open.
But then, she froze.
Inside the room, she came face to face with a man, half-dressed.
“Gasp.”
Ihwa stood frozen in shock. Something was off. She hadn’t sensed anyone’s presence, but she trusted her instincts — there was no way she could have misjudged it. For a moment, she wondered if what stood before her wasn’t a person, but a ghost. The man turned to look at her, his face a picture of confusion.
The room appeared to be a storage area. Shelves and low platforms were crowded with jars, clearly containing medicinal herbs. This had to be the hidden vault she had been searching for. But she couldn’t bring herself to feel any satisfaction. A black robe hung precariously from the man’s shoulder, as though it might fall off at any moment. And below that...
The man let out a surprised sound, just a beat too late.
“Oh dear.”
While tilting his head slightly, the man did not attempt to cover his lower half. Instead, he took a step closer to Ihwa.
Even if she tried not to look, there was no way to avoid seeing it.
The man was tall, with broad shoulders. His thick, firm chest was nicely divided into two well-defined halves, with large, round areolas in a pink shade. However, deep scars were carved all over his body, some of which hadn’t fully healed and were still bleeding. Beneath the square-shaped abdominal muscles and thick pubic hair was…
‘Wow. Is that a snake?’
Ihwa, who had been looking down absentmindedly, finally gathered her wits and lifted her head again.
"Wh-who… are you?!"
“...You're saying exactly what I was about to say. I was simply trying to treat the wounds I received during training.”
The man responded. His face, which bore a faint smile, was actually quite handsome. Despite his scarred body, his face was strikingly smooth and fair, with dark, impressive eyebrows. He scanned Ihwa’s outfit with his eyes.
"Did my dear nephew get cast aside on his wedding night, or did the bride somehow get switched? I've visited the Mun clan several times, so I roughly recognise the clan members' faces. But you're definitely not my nephew's bride, so where have you hidden her?"
“That’s none of your business.”
Ihwa replied, still quite flustered. Even during their conversation, she couldn't sense anything from the man. She couldn't gauge his background, his martial arts level, or whether he was someone she could even defeat.
Based on his manner of speaking and the intricate embroidery on his robe, she could only assume that he held a fairly high rank in the clan. However, his youthful face made it impossible to deduce his identity. He looked even younger than a government official.
He slowly turned and stood facing Ihwa directly.
“Why wouldn’t it concern me? It’s about my beloved nephew’s marriage. Surely she’s not dead?”
For a brief moment, a cold glint flashed in his eyes. Ihwa nervously swallowed and shook her head.
“I’m a bandit, not a killer. I don’t harm people. By now, she should have returned to the Mun clan.”
“Or maybe she’s wandering off as she pleases. It’s none of my business,” she added, replying vaguely.
The man smiled, as though he found her response amusing.
“So even bandits have rules? That’s a relief. Unfortunately, it looks like your robbery tonight won’t succeed.”
Without warning, he reached out to grab Ihwa’s arm. She quickly pulled back. She had prepared herself to some extent, but his martial skills seemed quite advanced. Hiding his presence to this degree wasn’t something just anyone could manage. How had someone who appeared to be in his early twenties reached such a level?
Gritting her teeth, she drew a dagger from her sleeve. The man, for some reason, began to smile with amusement.
“You think that tiny blade will do anything against me? You really don’t know who I am, do you?”
“Shut up with your nonsense!”
Then the two of them began to clash. It wasn’t quite a fierce battle, but more of a trivial exchange. Ihwa relentlessly pressed forward, while the man simply avoided her, exuding an air of ease. No matter how she tried to make excuses, the gap was so wide that, honestly, she couldn’t even feel embarrassed.
Though Ihwa was a senior member of the Gongryeong sect, she hadn’t earned her position through martial prowess. Even while fighting, she kept an eye on the direction the man was moving, trying to guess where the Elixir of Revitalisation might be hidden. As soon as she got her hands on the item, she planned to turn and flee.
The man let out a soft chuckle.
“This — it’s so hopeless that it’s actually amusing. You may lack experience, but you move quite tactfully.”
“How dare you evaluate me?!”
Ihwa sharply shouted. Although her retort was full of spirit, the situation was far from favourable. Not only was she at a disadvantage in terms of skill, but the cumbersome wedding dress she was wearing also hindered her movements.
Before long, her entire body was soaked in sweat, and she began to feel a surge of heat. Unable to endure it any longer, Ihwa threw off her outer garment and tossed it towards the man.
“What’s this?!”
Swish!
The man used his internal energy to tear apart the cloth that obstructed his view into tiny shreds. After doing that, his face showed a momentary look of surprise. He was completely naked himself, yet he acted all flustered over her simply removing her outer garment.
"What is this behaviour, young girl? How dare you recklessly take off your clothes in front of a man?!"
"Close your legs and stop talking nonsense!"
The jangling sounds had been driving Ihwa crazy since earlier. She cursed and lunged at his side. The dagger’s blade narrowly missed, just grazing his skin.
As the man turned, a large nearby pillar swayed. It was indeed an impressive, massive pillar, but this was neither the time nor the place for her to be distracted by something like that.
No, what she meant was: while he was handsome enough to make her want to admire him, she really didn’t want to focus on that thing right now.
"Ugh, where can I ever meet a guy like him again?"
"Young girl, I think your thoughts just slipped out as words."
"Shut up! I'm dying of frustration, so just be quiet! That Tang Geonwon bastard looks like a sunflower seed shell that's been chewed and spat out. Are you really from the same clan? What kind of bloodline divides things so unfairly?"
If Tang Geonwon had something like that, tonight would have been quite enjoyable.
Ihwa licked her lips and swung her dagger towards the man's lower body. If she couldn't have it, she might as well cut it off and take it. Something like that would surely be useful in the future.
"Your thoughts are too obvious, young girl. Now that I see it, you’re actually quite cute."
The man kicked her forearm. He didn’t infuse any internal energy into it, nor did he exert much strength — it was a blatant attack meant to show mercy.
The way he kept calling her 'girl,' his oddly old-fashioned way of thinking, and how he kept simply dodging while she was fighting with all her might… A thought that suddenly crossed Ihwa's mind slipped from her lips.
"You… you're an old man who has undergone rejuvenation, aren't you?"
“Call me Elder.”
The man grinned and stepped back. Ihwa clicked her tongue.
‘Damn it,’ she thought.
How did she end up jumping into the jaws of this old fox? It wouldn't be easy to get out. If she wasn't careful, this place could very well become her grave today.
Even in this situation, she felt the man continually blocking a certain direction with his body, so she guessed that the jar containing the Elixir of Revitalisation must be behind him.
She had certainly come to the right place. But was there really no way to knock this man down, steal the elixir, and escape? If she could do that, she swore she would never engage in thievery again and would live an honest life. With her eyes blazing with determination, Ihwa thrust the dagger forward with all her strength, but suddenly, she sensed a presence outside the door.
"Elder Yeonsin, is there a problem inside?"
Oh no. It seemed she had caused too much of a commotion. Had they heard the noise? The maid who had visited the bridal chamber earlier came over and started interfering.
Seeing Ihwa flustered, the man smiled faintly. It seemed he was planning to call someone. What should she do? In a hurry, she impulsively threw off her clothes, including her undergarments.
"W-Wait, what are you doing...?!"
“What do you think would happen if rumours spread that the so-called elder of the clan had an affair with his nephew’s bride? On his nephew's very first night as a newlywed, no less.”
With a sinister chuckle, she lunged at the man. Whether he was flustered or simply couldn’t bring himself to touch Ihwa’s naked body, he just stepped back.
She wasn't about to miss such an opportunity. Ihwa quickly wrapped her arms around the man’s waist and threw herself at him. In the process, the man’s outstretched fist accidentally shattered a nearby jar.
Clink!
At that exact moment, the maid opened the door and stuck her head inside.
“Elder? I heard a noise just now...”
"Get out!"
The man hurriedly pushed the door closed. There was a loud screech as the maid screamed and fell backwards. Fortunately, the incense didn't have a wide dispersal, so it seemed that the person standing at the door hadn't inhaled it.
However, in his haste to drive the maid away, the man ended up inhaling the concentrated incense. Ihwa, who had been restraining him with her whole body, found herself in the same situation.
"Uh...!"
“You bastard, what kind of trick is this…?!”
She stumbled before she could finish speaking. Even though she had only inhaled a small amount of the incense that had leaked out, she felt a burning sensation rising from her stomach.
‘Oh my goodness, isn’t this way too strong?!’
Although she had built up a fair amount of resilience, she wasn’t invincible to drugs, but she shouldn’t have been reduced to such a state by something as mild as a little incense.
The drug was incredibly strong — too potent, in fact.
Did they add some special ingredient to it? And why would something like the incense even be found in the clan’s private collection? Were those who acted all proud and refined on the outside actually the ones making and enjoying drugs like this?
However, her thoughts didn’t last long.
"Ugh..."
She groaned and collapsed on top of the man. The man, who was repeatedly called Elder Yeonsin, cursed and wrapped his robe around her naked body. Even though he was also naked, Ihwa found his actions amusing in her dazed state.
Translator's Corner:
🎊 Happy New Year everyone! 🎊 May 2025 be the year you all achieve your goals, be filled with plenty of good fortune, great health and wonderful moments~✨
My goal this year is to finish translating the current three novels (ideally before June), so wish me luck >^< 🍀 Knowing me, I'll most likely pick up a new short-novel once I finish NNT — so I guess, if you have any short-novel (R18) requests, please do let me know! Thank you~ Happy reading and see you all around! 💗
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★ Please note: this is my first time translating Wuxia (Chinese martial arts styled story) so I hope it's okay! I did try to do some research but if I made any mistakes, please let me know as I'll be happy to get it corrected, thank you!!
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