🚨 Warning: This chapter includes depictions of sexual harassment and child abuse. Please remain mindful of this as you read. If you feel uncomfortable, do not hesitate to stop reading. 🚨
“Grand Sharman, My Lord, Lady Nokhee has arrived.”
“Come in.”
The response came immediately as if they had been expecting her.
“It’s cold outside, please come inside, My Lady. Quickly now.”
Nokhee, who had been hesitating, was practically ushered inside by the head servant’s urging.
Thud―.
The door closed behind her. Although the room was warm, Nokhee stood stiffly, clenching her cold fingertips.
“Nokhee, you’re here. Why don’t you come in quickly instead of standing at the door?”
The first to greet her was Yoon Jucheol, the head of the Yoon family and the Lord of Hwangju.
“Yes, Father.”
Nokhee hesitated briefly before stepping forward, suppressing a silent scream. Thankfully, her voice remained steady and composed, without a hint of trembling. However, inside, she felt as if her insides were decaying.
She wasn’t sure if she should be horrified that someone other than the Grand Sharman was present or if she should be grateful that it was only Yoon Jucheol, who at least pretended to be her father in public.
There were often those who came to watch her with lecherous gazes. People much like the old man who had recently died.
“Hmm, how is your health?”
“I’m fine.”
“It seems your fever has gone down.”
Following Yoon Jucheol’s words, a melodious voice echoed. Nokhee turned her gaze toward the sacred throne.
Behind a long red curtain, a woman was faintly visible. Known as the Grand Sharman, she was a shaman revered like a goddess by the Yoon family.
Nokhee did not know much about her, only that the Grand Sharman’s words were the law in this household. It was also clear that Nokhee had to pretend to be Yoon Jucheol’s daughter and act as a scapegoat for the family’s curse because of her.
From what she had gathered, the Grand Shaman had been overseeing the affairs of the Yoon family for three generations. However, her face was always painted white like a clown’s, making it impossible to determine her age.
Whenever Nokhee stood before the Grand Sharman, she felt a chill run down her spine. Even after nearly ten years, the Grand Sharman still did not seem human to her.
Being scrutinised by the Yoon family was unsettling enough, but the fear that the Grand Shaman might one day order the death of her younger brother and sick mother was even more chilling.
“Have you made yourself comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“Well then, show it to me.”
As always, under the familiar commands of the Grand Shaman, Nokhee moved obediently like a frog before a snake, unable to make a sound.
She removed her jeogori [1] and loosened the skirt strings that had been tightly tied around her waist, exposing her right side as it was.
“Oh my, is that from Jongcheol?”
Yoon Jucheol asked, his eyes gleamed as he noticed the distinct black mark fragment embedded in her pale skin. It appeared to be the name of the old man who had recently died.
Nokhee clutched the hem of her skirt, trying to cover her chest, and nodded. Just as she was about to retie her skirt, a soft voice halted her movements.
“Nokhee, you need to show the rest as well.”
It was the Grand Sharman, who had been silent for a while after seeing her exposed side.
“We need to confirm whether you had any relations with Jongcheol before he died.”
Nokhee had hoped to slip by unnoticed this time, but the Grand Sharman’s penetrating black eyes caused her heart to plummet.
“...Alright.”
Nevertheless, Nokhee maintained her composure and slowly loosened the skirt she had been gripping.
The fabric of her skirt fell helplessly to the floor, and Nokhee stood there completely bare. On the days she visited the Grand Sharman, she was ordered not to wear undergarments, so her chest and private parts were fully exposed.
“Are you about to start your period? Your breasts appear slightly swollen. It looks like you have more pubic hair than before. Haaaa... Indeed, with your mother being a courtesan, you seem to become more beautiful by the day.”
With a lascivious grin, Yoon Jucheol scrutinised Nokhee’s body from top to bottom and made vile comments. His words were truly filthy and crass, especially directed at someone recognised as his adopted daughter.
However, Nokhee stood rigidly, betraying no reaction. She had long since become desensitised to the shame, having endured such humiliation repeatedly since being brought into Hwangju at the age of twelve.
The members of this household did not regard Nokhee, a former commoner, as a human being, viewing her merely as a living vessel. And that vessel was in the form of a young girl, the same age as their daughter, so how could they not mock her?
Just as she had thought upon entering the room, she reflected again that it was fortunate only the Grand Sharman and Yoon Jucheol were present.
“One, two, three, four. Now, turn around.”
Ignoring Yoon Jucheol’s lewd remarks, the Grand Sharman pointed at Nokhee’s body and counted the grotesque protrusions.
“Five, six. Fortunately, it seems you did not have relations with Jongcheol after all.”
The old man who had tried to assault her was killed by the Grand Sharman, yet she spoke so calmly.
“That Jongcheol was useful because he was loyal to his superiors. Tsk. Why on earth did you go wandering around and cause this mess, huh?”
Yoon Jucheol, who had been counting along, suddenly clicked his tongue. Before Nokhee could feel any resentment, she bowed her head.
“...I sincerely apologise.”
“Do you even know how much your mother's medication costs each year? All you do is eat and sleep, yet you still stir up trouble. Just stay quiet and be grateful for what you have! After all, these lowly creatures...”
“Enough, Jucheol. It was bound to happen someday.”
“But Grand Sharman, if Nokhee hadn’t caught his eye, this could have been delayed.”
“It’s not solely Nokhee’s fault. We have confirmed all six, so that should suffice.”
The Grand Sharman finally intervened, but she did not order Nokhee to put her clothes back on. She, too, regarded Nokhee as less than human, so there was nothing to be disappointed about.
“...Ahem, stop acting so shameful and quickly put your clothes back on! Tsk.”
Only after the Grand Sharman spoke did Yoon Jucheol order Nokhee to get dressed, as if he were doing her a favour. Nokhee, who had been standing naked, hurriedly put her clothes back on.
After tying her skirt and putting on her jeogori, she felt no different from when she entered the shrine.
From being the Yoon family’s scapegoat to returning to her role as Yoon Nokhee, the eldest of the twins daughter of the Lord of Hwangju. Only then did Yoon Jucheol finally adopt a facade of dignity.
“Are you studying the scriptures well these days?”
“Yes, Father.”
No matter how many scriptures Nokhee memorised, the grotesque protrusions on her body would not disappear. Nevertheless, Yoon Jucheol would occasionally bring bundles of scriptures to her room, under the pretext of purifying the curse she had swallowed.
However, Nokhee was not proficient in reading. Although she could manage short letters thanks to her late adoptive father, understanding and transcribing scriptures filled with complex vocabulary was out of the question.
Yet, fearing she might become a monster like her deceased relatives, she endured the futile task. Each time Yoon Jucheol boasted about providing her with a valuable education, a wave of nausea rose within her.
But today, too, Nokhee obediently gave the answer Yoon Jucheol wanted to hear. She didn’t want to risk getting slapped for upsetting him.
“I am diligently transcribing and memorising the scriptures you provided.”
“Bring them to me sometime. I need to check them with my own eyes.”
“I will do so once I finish transcribing the current scripture.”
“Good. Always keep your body and mind pure. Remember, your body is not just yours. Think of your mother and Seonghyeon.”
Nokhee instinctively thought of her younger half-brother. She hadn’t seen Seonghyeon in a long time, not since his birthday party half a year ago.
Seonghyeon, now fifteen, was half-blood related to the Yoon family, unlike Nokhee.
The tyranny of the Yoon family, using her mother and even her younger half-brother, Seonghyeon as shackles to control her, made her blood boil. Nevertheless, Nokhee endured it.
Whenever she heard that Seonghyeon was receiving a good education and growing up as a young master of a noble family, she felt it was worthwhile.
With each new protrusion on her body, Seonghyeon would move further away from the curse that transformed humans into monstrous creatures like the recently deceased.
“Seonghyeon has been really excited about attending the royal lectures lately.”
“Is that so.”
“Yes. Every time I see Seonghyeon’s face, I’m reminded of that wretched coward, his father. It makes my blood boil. He ran off to save his own skin, leaving us to clean up the mess and then died, forcing me to deal with all the trouble he caused."
“...”
“But I didn’t let the three of you starve to death. I took you in and raised you. So be grateful and know your place. Understand?”
“Yes, I will remember that.”
“You may leave now.”
Only after enduring Yoon Jucheol’s vicious tirade about Seonghyeon could Nokhee finally escape this hell.
“I will take my leave now, Grand Sharman, Father.”
Nokhee bowed deeply like a criminal begging for mercy. Yoon Jucheol, finding no more faults, dismissed her with a disapproving glare.
For some reason, the Grand Shaman was unusually quiet today, but Nokhee was too busy fleeing to think deeply about it.
As she stepped out of the room, the servants were still busy cleaning the shrine. Glancing up at the sky, she noticed the sun was in the same position as before. The time she had spent inside was less than an hour. Yet, her whole body felt as if it had endured half a day of torment.
The moment Nokhee stepped down from the porch, her legs unexpectedly buckled, causing her to stumble.
“My Lady, are you leaving already? Oh, be careful!”
The head servant, who had been nearby, rushed over to support her as she stumbled. But Nokhee quickly steadied herself and swatted his hand away, snapping at him coldly.
“Don’t touch me with those filthy hands.”
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dared to touch you with my dirty hands...”
The head servant apologised profusely, looking embarrassed.
Nokhee felt filthy within herself. She had been acting like a harsh lady of the house, fearful that the curse she had swallowed might infect others. Yet, the servants in this household seemed entirely incapable of harbouring any hatred.
Each time she witnessed their kindness, her heart ached. How could such innocent souls serve a monster like Yoon Jucheol?
“Should I summon a palanquin for you?”
“No. I’ll walk back. It’ll be good for my health.”
Despite being slapped, the head servant followed her with a smile as he saw her off. Just like when she arrived, the servants bowed respectfully as she was leaving the shrine. As she was about to step outside, the head servant said something that made her pause.
“His Excellency must be very pleased to see you recovering so well.”
At the parting words, which felt like a mere formality, Nokhee came to an abrupt halt. As she turned around, she caught a glimpse of sparkling eyes peeking at her, pretending to appear indifferent.
Perhaps it was because she resembled her mother, who was a courtesan, with her delicate beauty, but she was well aware from Eokbun that everyone in the castle, except for those with the Yoon surname, looked upon her with goodwill.
In their eyes, she was the esteemed daughter of the revered leader, a beautiful noblewoman whose grace filled them with longing and admiration.
“...Yes.”
But Nokhee felt nothing. The murky gaze of Yoon Jucheol, which scrutinised her naked body, layered over her thoughts.
It meant nothing. Taking off those trivial clothes a few times and being insulted as a lowly woman to her face was insignificant.
“...Father must be truly pleased.”
Yet, at times, the gap between their admiration and her reality made her feel utterly miserable.
Translator's Corner:
[1] The jeogori is a basic upper garment of the hanbok, the traditional Korean attire worn by both men and women. Men typically pair the jeogori with baji (pants), while women wear it with chima (skirts). The jeogori covers the arms and the upper part of the wearer's body.
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