Chapter 108: He Was Smiling
- Reira ☾⋆⁺₊✧ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
- Nov 5, 2025
- 7 min read
"How much have you drawn? It’s not too hard, right?”
“...”
“What’s with that look?”
Alicia lifted her head at the gaze she could clearly feel.
Across from her, Cabelenus stared at her with a distinctly serious expression.
“Doesn’t something appear somewhat different?”
“Different, you say?”
“Yes.”
Seeing Cabelenus’s earnest expression, Alicia pondered for a moment before bursting into laughter.
A faint blush spread across her cheeks.
“Why are you laughing?”
"I’m not sure about anything else, but your way of speaking is definitely awkward."
"You mean you do not know?"
"Yes. You’re just the same as usual."
Alicia nodded without giving it much thought.
No matter how closely she looked, the tall man was still as handsome as ever.
There was no sign of any change.
"…Do I really look the same as usual?"
"That’s how it looks to me."
“...”
Cabelenus glanced down at the sparkling cufflinks on his wrists.
It was hard to even estimate how much time he had spent choosing his clothes and matching the cufflinks, yet Alicia didn’t seem to care at all.
‘…Am I not good enough?’
The Alicia of the past had liked his face, but that was a long time ago.
Time had passed, and perhaps her tastes had changed.
Thinking that, the man felt a little down.
“Pictures are drawn by hand, you know.”
The child, unaware of Cabelenus’s melancholy, suddenly held out his hand.
Cabelenus picked up his pencil as he watched Michael tapping on the back of his hand, urging him on.
Even though he felt down, a promise was a promise — he had to draw.
“Do you know something, Mister?”
“What?”
“No matter how I think about it, I feel like I drew it better than you, Mister.”
"…How did you draw it?"
“Like this!”
Michael held out the paper he was carrying, his face beaming with pride.
A surprisingly good drawing was on it.
“Well done.”
“Right?”
Michael’s eyes sparkled.
Cabelenus chuckled softly and placed his hand on the child’s head.
“You could become a painter someday.”
“But I’m going to be a knight, though?”
“You can’t even lift a sword.”
"I’ll be able to later. When I grow up, I’ll be stronger."
“That remains to be seen.”
Cabelenus nodded, recalling the scene he had witnessed earlier in the hallway.
The child, who had been talking endlessly about becoming a knight, fell silent after holding a real sword for the first time.
The weight of the iron-forged sword was far beyond what the child could handle.
He couldn’t even take a single step while holding it, let alone swing it.
“Mister said I could do it.”
“Me?”
“Not you, Mister Gazeff.”
Michael paused for a moment.
He hesitated over whether to continue, but quickly made up his mind.
Cabelenus’s gaze, fixed on him, always sparked his competitive spirit.
“Mister Gazeff said so. That I take after you.”
“...”
“So when I grow up, I’ll be really tall and really strong.”
Michael’s eyes gleamed with determination.
Cabelenus’s pupils flickered ever so slightly.
“…Well, if you take after me, you won’t be weak.”
Cabelenus poked Michael’s cheek, which was puffed up with displeasure, with his finger.
Even though he told himself to stop teasing, watching the child’s ever-changing expressions made him want to playfully provoke him.
“Well, I’m not really keen on becoming like you, though.”
“...”
“…But, it’s true that I can really become stronger, right?”
“You will become stronger.”
“Really?”
Michael’s expectant eyes sparkled.
Cabelenus reached out and gently brushed the corner of the child’s eye.
The child’s bright, shiny eyes were like glass marbles, transparent enough to see right through.
Their clarity was amusing, yet it also gave him a strange feeling, as if he were looking into a mirror.
But none of it was entirely bad.
Looking into those innocent, unknowing eyes made everything feel peaceful.
“Of course, you’ll still be weaker than me, though.”
“No way! I’m going to be even stronger!"
“That’s unlikely.”
“Why not?!”
Michael’s cheeks puffed up even more.
“You have more choices than I did.”
Cabelenus’s gaze fell on the child’s slender neck.
The weak broke and crumbled easily.
To survive, one often had to step on someone else.
The man who had lived a brutal life knew this better than anyone.
Even so, he hoped those clear, innocent eyes would remain unchanged.
He wished they would only see good things, do what they loved, and be with the people they cared about.
He wished they would walk a better path than his own and spend their days in a life so peaceful it might even feel dull.
“What choices do I even have?”
“Who knows.”
“Aye, there’s no such thing! Mister, you’re teasing me, right?”
“I’m not teasing you.”
“Really?”
“I’m saying that you don’t have to live like I did.”
Cabelenus gently pressed the child’s round head with his hand and shifted his gaze.
Alicia forced a smile when she met his eyes.
She knew better than anyone that the reason Michael wanted to grow up quickly was to protect her.
“...Anything is fine.”
Cabelenus’s voice rumbled low.
The man still wasn’t confident when it came to offering comfort.
However, he wanted to say something, anything.
He looked at Alicia, then slowly took a deep breath as he stroked Michael’s head.
“If there’s something you want to do, do it; if there’s someone you want to become, become them.”
“I’ll be the one to protect you.”
Cabelenus stared intently into the child’s ash-grey eyes.
Words had power.
It was unclear if he was only now recalling the old story Alicia had once told him.
Nevertheless, Cabelenus sincerely hoped they possessed real power.
He wished for the warmth in his hand and the gaze they shared to be perfectly protected.
・・・・・
“After all that chatter, he fell asleep so quickly.”
Cabelenus murmured softly as he lay the sleeping Michael down on the bed.
It felt even stranger because he seemed to see his own reflection more clearly in the child when their eyes were closed.
“That’s how children are.”
Alicia nodded, hugging her sketchbook tightly.
Cabelenus quietly gazed at the back of her hands, strained with tension.
“Even if you hadn’t given Michael a hint, he would have agreed to it.”
“...You noticed?”
“It was far too obvious to pretend I didn’t notice.”
A faint smile spread across Cabelenus’s lips.
Michael, who had been talking about his second wish, kept looking at Alicia with a face full of expectation for praise.
“I know you helped me, but you didn't have to go out of your way.”
“I helped?”
“You helped Michael so he could call me ‘Dad,’ didn’t you?”
“...”
“…Isn’t that so?”
A subtle furrow appeared on Cabelenus’s brow.
Alicia hesitated, then slowly shook her head from side to side.
“No, that’s not it. I didn’t even have the luxury to think about something like that.”
“You didn’t have the luxury…”
The crease on Cabelenus’s forehead deepened.
Alicia hurriedly took a step back.
“I didn’t mean that I have no time left.”
“...Then what do you mean?”
“There’s something I must tell you.”
“If there’s something you want to say, feel free to say it."
“...”
“Is it something difficult to speak about?”
The tip of Cabelenus’s right eyebrow lifted.
Alicia fidgeted with her fingertips for a moment, then nodded.
“After hearing my story, many things might change.”
“That’s fine.”
“...”
“If it’s difficult to say, you don’t have to. The story can be told anytime—”
“If I keep putting it off, it won’t accomplish anything. Fear will just keep piling up, and in the end, all I can do is remain silent.”
Cabelenus unconsciously swallowed hard.
Even though her face was pale with fear, Alicia’s eyes shone steadily.
“There were times I thought it would be better to just let it quietly pass. If I kept my mouth shut, no one would ever know.”
“...”
“But I didn’t want to do that.”
Alicia’s voice trembled.
Without hesitation, Cabelenus strode forward and stood directly in front of her.
“It is alright.”
“...”
“I am here—”
“Could you speak to me like you used to?”
Alicia hurriedly cut him off.
Cabelenus reflexively swallowed and furrowed his brows.
The hand holding her sketchbook tensed even more.
"Is it a problem that I am using honorifics?"
"I don’t particularly mind. However…"
Alicia drew a sharp breath.
Even though she had prepared herself, her heart still raced.
“Take your time… no, just speak.”
“Yes, that’s better.”
“...”
"I don’t mean to reprimand you. It’s just, well… somewhat…”
Alicia searched for the right words, then let out a deep sigh.
Since she had considered even the worst-case scenario, she found herself bothered by a tone she would normally have just laughed off.
“It’s alright, no. It’s okay. Take your time.”
“…It’s just that, for now, I want us to talk like we used to.”
‘Because I hope that our relationship remains unchanged even after this conversation is over.’
Swallowing the words she couldn’t bring herself to say, Alicia looked up at Cabelenus’s face.
The man’s eyes shone brilliantly, unchanged as ever.
Just like the monster had.
“What is it you want to talk about?”
Cabelenus gently brushed Alicia’s shoulder, as if trying to soothe her.
It was a gentle touch that didn’t seem to match his rough hands.
Alicia took a steadying breath, holding his firm hand tightly in hers.
And then, she met his gaze head-on.
“...I… encountered a monster.”
“A monster?”
“Yes. I met one.”
"Did it harm you in any way?"
Cabelenus’s jaw tensed.
“No. It didn’t. If anything, it was rather friendly.”
Alicia shook her head without much change in expression.
"Friendly?"
"To be honest, it felt less like friendliness and more like yearning."
“Yearning, you say? That’s an unusual way to put it.”
“Its gaze was relentless. Completely focused on me alone. It was an utterly blind intensity.”
“Don’t be afraid. The monster can’t harm you. I—”
“I thought you and the monster were alike.”
Alicia gripped the sketchbook she was holding tightly with one hand.
Inside the sketchbook were pages filled with sketches of Cabelenus and Michael.
They were simple, ordinary scenes — nothing remarkable, yet all the more worth protecting.
"I didn't realise it when I was pregnant with Michael. I’d only ever encountered the monsters once, and I was just overly cautious, thinking they were after my child."
“...”
“But seeing it this time, I understood. That you and the monsters are alike.”
“…So now, you find me repulsive?”
Cabelenus muttered quietly to himself.
His low, murmuring voice held the same steady pitch as always.
But he was no longer looking at Alicia.
It was only then that Alicia realised she had hurt Cabelenus.
“It’s a misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding?”
“I didn't mean it like that…!”
Alicia hurriedly held back what she was about to say.
The child was asleep in the room.
“It’s okay. You don’t need to make excuses.”
“...”
“I understand. You have every reason to feel that way.”
Cabelenus looked at Alicia once more.
Cabelenus shook his head, having misunderstood Alicia’s reaction.
He was forcing a smile.
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