"Even so, the fact that you drew a picture means that you were that desperate."
"..."
"May I ask what happened?"
"I just didn't want to forget my mother's face. When you draw someone, you keep remembering their features, so it's easier to remember their face. Moreover, when that happens, a record remains."
Alicia wiggled her fingers.
She didn't expect to end up telling this kind of story, but there was nothing left to hide from Cabelenus now.
"After my mother passed away, everyone was desperate to erase all traces of her. They burned all of her belongings as if she had never existed, and even the mere mention of her would cause a storm of trouble."
"Then why were these drawings left behind?"
"To be precise, it's not that they were left behind, but rather that they haven't been dealt with yet."
Alicia shook her head weakly.
“They haven’t been dealt with?”
One of Cabelenus’s eyebrows rose.
"It was Queen Neustein’s hobby."
"A hobby?"
"The queen would put me in front of her and mock my mother's portrait to vent her feelings. She said that seeing a face that resembled my mother's twist in anguish made her feel a bit better."
Alicia spoke calmly, but her body was trembling slightly.
The memory of having to helplessly watch her late mother's portrait, which she drew with her own hands, being ridiculed was truly horrifying.
"She couldn’t beat the king, so instead, she found someone to vent her feelings on."
Alicia let out a weak laugh.
The reason the queen was angry wasn't because of her husband's infidelity.
It was because the power she had held in her hands was taken away.
"It wasn’t just the queen. Everyone did. My mother never loved the king, and even coming to Neustein Castle wasn’t her will, but everyone was busy blaming her."
Yet, no one said a single word about King Neustein himself.
Alicia's face crumpled mercilessly.
It was already in the past.
She knew that even if she said this to Cabelenus, nothing would change.
But she wanted to tell someone at least once.
"My mother was not a bad person. She was just a victim."
Alicia's teary gaze landed on the portrait.
In the faded portrait, worn with age, her mother was smiling happily.
Exactly the way Alicia had hoped.
"...Yeah. I think that's probably the case."
Looking at Alicia, who seemed like she might collapse at any moment but was standing steadfast, Cabelenus carefully embraced her.
He had never felt pity for anyone in his life, but seeing the woman's pale face, he felt sorry for her.
The woman's trembling, rounded shoulders, her thin body that didn't fill his arms, and her voice that habitually swallowed her sobs — it was so pitiful that he thought he would go crazy.
・・・・・
"My lady, are you all right?”
"Yes, I'm fine."
Alicia nodded with a faint smile.
It was unfamiliar because it was her first time riding a carriage, but it was not unbearable.
“If you encounter any inconvenience, please let me know right away. Schwarhan’s carriage is heavy, so it is less prone to shaking, but even that can be difficult for those who are not used to long-distance travel.”
“It’s bearable.”
As soon as Alicia finished answering, Gazeff pulled out a small bottle of medicine from his pocket.
“Take this.”
"What is this?"
Alicia glanced back and forth between Gazeff and the medicine bottle with slightly widened eyes.
"It’s a sedative."
"A sedative?"
"If you're really not feeling well, taking this and getting some rest might help."
"You’re very kind, Sir Gazeff."
Alicia smiled faintly.
"I did prepare the sedative, but it was His Highness who ordered it. He said that if the lady says such things, it should be taken as a sign that she’s not well, and additional measures should be taken."
"His Highness?"
"Yes, His Highness has been very considerate."
“I see.”
Alicia unconsciously touched the smooth surface of the glass bottle with her fingertips.
Just holding the glass bottle somehow made her feel reassured.
"It will take quite some time to reach the meeting point with His Highness. Please don’t worry about me; you may rest as you please. While you sleep, I will take care of the work, and that will be all."
Gazeff smiled with a friendly expression, proudly displaying the stack of documents.
"Are you very busy?"
"No. I just personally prefer to take care of things in advance."
"..."
"You don't need to worry about me. If there's something you'd like to say, feel free to do so. There's no reason for you to be cautious around me."
"You're saying the same thing as His Highness."
She felt like her true feelings had been exposed.
Alicia stammered with a slightly flushed face.
"If so, it is an honour."
A deep smile spread across Gazeff's lips.
Alicia fiddled with the glass bottle and carefully parted her lips.
"Actually, there's something I've been wanting to ask."
"What is it?"
"Is it common in Schwarhan to treat slaves this way?"
Everything Cabelenus did for Alicia was not the kind of thing one would do to a slave.
Even without knowing much about slaves, Alicia could tell that much.
However, admitting that fact would make it impossible to understand Cabelenus's actions.
"What do you mean to be treated 'this way?'"
How could she express her intentions clearly?
Alicia paused for a moment, then slowly began to speak.
"Like how I’m being treated."
"To be honest, it's not very common."
"As expected, that would be the case."
"To begin with, there are no slaves in Schwarhan."
"There are no slaves in Schwarhan?"
"Slavery still exists in the Empire, and in the capital, slave trading is quite prevalent, but not in Schwarhan."
Gazeff placed the documents he had been holding beside him and continued speaking calmly.
"In a poor land like Schwarhan, slaves were a luxury. In a place where even reducing one mouth to feed could save food, nothing could be more inefficient than keeping slaves."
"But, His Highness clearly..."
Cabelenus was especially extravagant, and it stemmed from Schwarhan's wealth.
It didn’t make sense that Schwarhan was a poor land.
"Oh, of course, it’s a story of the past."
"The past?"
"Ever since His Highness became the Grand Duke of Schwarhan, many things have changed. The land that couldn't even nurture a single seed in the harsh winter has now become a land of glory, where all the lords bow their heads in respect."
Gazeff's eyes were filled with deep respect for Cabelenus.
He was genuinely following his superior with all his heart.
"It seems like you really like His Highness.”
"Not just me, but I believe most people in Schwarhan would feel the same. If it weren't for His Highness, our lives would not have changed."
"I see."
"That’s why I am fond of you, my lady."
Gazeff gazed at Alicia with kind eyes.
"...Pardon?"
"Because you will be by His Highness's side in the future."
Objectively speaking, Alicia wasn’t exactly a woman with the best circumstances.
In fact, the secrets she held could potentially become a threat to Cabelenus.
But Gazeff believed in Cabelenus's choice.
No matter what Alicia’s background was, once Cabelenus decided to make her the Grand Duchess, that was enough for Gazeff to accept it.
Even though she appeared to be a timid young lady now, he had no doubt that she would one day stand proudly as the Grand Duchess beside Cabelenus.
"You should be more confident, my lady."
"But my status..."
"There are no slaves in Schwarhan. And even if there were, no one would consider you a slave."
"That's strange."
"It’s not strange. On the contrary, I’m just sorry that the matter has been delayed."
Gazeff said firmly.
Alicia was the one and only wife of Cabelenus, and she was destined to become the Grand Duchess of Schwarhan.
From Gazeff's perspective, it was only regrettable that he could not give her the proper treatment she deserved.
"...Is it really okay? Won't my existence become a burden to His Highness?"
"The order His Highness received from the Emperor was originally to eliminate all the Neustein royals. However, for you, my lady, His Highness spared your life and allowed you to survive as a slave."
"See, from the very beginning, I’ve already been a burden to His Highness."
The Emperor’s orders were absolute.
No matter how much Cabelenus was the Emperor’s half-brother, going against the Emperor’s will would mean falling out of favour.
The rumour that the Emperor, in his attempt to keep his legitimate younger brother in check, had exiled Cabelenus to the remote Schwarhan was enough to unsettle Alicia.
"If His Highness doesn’t think you are a burden, then you are not one."
"..."
"It would rather be a burden to His Highness if you, my lady, were to say such things."
"I’m just feeling anxious..."
Gazeff narrowed his eyes at Alicia, who seemed hesitant.
Although it was better than before, it was certainly difficult for people to change in a short time.
Alicia needed something to help boost her confidence further.
"His Highness does not pay attention to things of no value."
"Things of no value?"
"You can understand it in the same way as why His Highness spared your life. You have enough value, and His Highness recognised that. You are by no means a burden to His Highness. On the contrary, you are being of help."
"Value..."
Alicia’s expression darkened a bit more.
However, Gazeff didn’t know what Alicia was thinking as she lowered her head.
“Don't think too deeply about it; just accept it. Everything will fall into place naturally, so you don't need to worry about it, my lady,"
"Yes, I understand."
Alicia lifted her head again and smiled.
Gazeff followed Alicia's lead and smiled, harbouring no particular suspicion.
"Thank you for your understanding. Then, is there anything else you're curious about? Other topics are also fine."
"Other topics?"
Alicia tilted her head in thought.
"If you're not going to sleep, we could pass the time by talking. Feel free to ask me anything you're curious about."
"...In that case, may I ask what kind of place Schwarhan is like?"
“Hmm, that question is quite broad, so it's difficult to give a straightforward answer. However, Schwarhan is often described as a place where God's blessings do not reach."
Gazeff nodded lightly.
"A place where God's blessings do not reach. That's quite an abstract expression."
"No matter how you put it, there's no better way to describe Schwarhan than that."
"Why is that?"
"Because of the winter that lasts throughout all four seasons, the frozen land is not suitable for farming. Wild animals have become stronger and fiercer to adapt to the extreme conditions, and even monsters appear. The phrase 'a place where God's blessings do not reach' is not said without reason."
The mere act of recalling the past was so horrifying that Gazeff's smooth forehead unconsciously creased with deep wrinkles.
"But now it's one of the most notable territories in the Empire."
"It's all thanks to His Highness. There's a reason why the people of Schwarhan follow His Highness, the Grand Duke, more than the God Prime."
"If it's the God Prime, then surely..."
Alicia furrowed her brow as she thought of the beautiful priest, Natalie.
She had introduced herself as a priest of the Temple of Prime.
"It is the state religion of the Blanche Empire. Given that it was established along with the empire, it is a very old religion. Personally, however, I don't think it appears to be doing anything remarkable in comparison to its history."
"Is it okay to speak about the state religion like that?"
"If I say this to the faithful people of the capital, they might call it heresy, but right now, it's just us here."
"It seems like you don't particularly like the Temple of Prime."
"Their doctrine is designed for the privileged, you see."
"The priest I saw before didn't seem that way."
Natalie, who said that everyone was equal before God, was a noble priest.
It was impossible to imagine her discriminating against people based on what they had.
"That’s because Natalie is a special person."
"..."
"What about you, my lady?"
"Me?"
"Do you believe in God?"
Gazeff's eyes briefly sparkled through his arched gaze.
Although it did not matter what kind of person Alicia was, it was true that the secrets of her power stimulated curiosity.
"No."
Alicia answered immediately, without even taking a breath.
"That was quick."
"If simply believing in God could make everything alright, I would have believed without hesitation. But God only listens."
"You're saying He listens?"
"It’s something my late mother used to say. God is always watching over us and listening, lending an ear to hear our stories."
"That's a peculiar tale."
Gazeff quickly adjusted his glasses, which had slipped down.
Through the lenses, his eyes now held an even deeper curiosity than before.
"That’s not it. It’s just a superstition. And even if God does exist, what’s the point if He doesn’t do anything and just listens? It only makes you hold on to false hope, and that hope only leads to despair."
"It seems like you resent God."
"There's no need to resent Him. If I believe there was never such a thing to begin with, then it doesn't matter."
Alicia smiled bitterly.
Her mother believed in God until the moment of her death, but in the end, God did not answer her faith.
There was no reason to believe in God at all.
"...Am I being too pessimistic?"
"No, it's fine. I don't believe in God either."
Gazeff lightly shrugged and then fiddled with some papers.
His curiosity about Alicia's secret was undeniable, but he couldn’t push further.
The woman, whose face seemed ready to break into tears yet stubbornly stood her ground, was bearing emotions too heavy to be triggered by simple curiosity.
⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡ ⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆
If you notice any errors or broken links, please let me know and I will get that fixed~ Additionally, if you would like to support me, I have a Ko-fi ~ Thank you! 💖