"What brings you here?"
Alicia’s eyes widened when she saw Cabelenus.
"I only stopped by briefly. I need to be on my way again."
"You didn’t have to go out of your way to come if you were busy..."
Alicia trailed off, furrowing her brow.
The reason the busy Cabelenus came at this hour was clear.
“…By any chance, did you hear the news?”
“…Yes.”
Cabelenus hesitated briefly before nodding.
Watching him, Alicia fidgeted with her fingers.
Looking back, it hadn’t just been her child.
Just as Madame Morco had said, it was their child.
Cabelenus, too, could have had feelings for the baby, and those feelings might have been very different from Alicia’s.
As soon as she thought that, her heart grew heavy.
Even though the baby never existed to begin with, she somehow felt as if she had done something terrible to Cabelenus.
“Are you okay?”
He cupped Alicia’s cheek.
Seeing the unmistakable worry in his eyes, Alicia found herself unable to say that she hadn’t wanted the child.
“I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”
Cabelenus’s hand tightened slightly.
Looking at the woman with that sorrowful expression made his mouth taste bitter.
He hadn’t forgotten his aide’s advice.
“We can take our time with having a child. There’s no rush.”
“You don’t need to comfort me.”
“If it felt like comfort, then I’m glad. I’m clumsy with this sort of thing — I never know what to say.”
Cabelenus gave a brief smile.
Alicia awkwardly smiled back, resting her cheek against his large hand.
"It’s nothing to be comforted about. It was just a small misunderstanding, after all."
"It’s not your fault. Like you said, it was just a misunderstanding."
"But you must have been disappointed."
At Alicia’s weak murmur, Cabelenus closed his mouth tightly.
Since he hadn't expected anything, there was no reason to be disappointed — but there was no way he could tell Alicia that.
“I wasn’t disappointed.”
“Really?”
"If anything, it was a bit troublesome. The timing wasn’t right."
“...”
"Of course, it’s not that I dislike the idea of having a child with you."
Cabelenus clicked his tongue inwardly.
He didn’t know when he’d gotten so good at running his mouth, and he felt like a fool for spewing lies so easily.
But he had no choice.
He was finally beginning to reach Alicia.
Knowing that, he didn’t want to mess up a relationship that was finally heading in the right direction.
Even if he had to pretend to be what she wanted, even if he had to mould himself to suit her, he wanted to keep this relationship just as it was.
“…Just, I didn’t want you to be sad.”
But at least that part was true.
Cabelenus gave a bitter smile.
“I’m not sad.”
“You don’t have to pretend to be strong in front of me.”
“Do you think I’m sad?”
"That’s how it usually is.”
Repeating what Gazeff had said, Cabelenus subtly avoided Alicia’s gaze. He was just saying what sounded appropriate, but in truth, he didn’t even know what ‘most people’ would feel in this situation.
“…You’re right.”
Alicia smiled and lifted her head.
When Cabelenus’s hand pulled away, the warmth disappeared with it.
“For now, just get plenty of rest. Taking care of your heart comes first.”
“Okay, I will.”
"You haven’t eaten yet, right? I brought some things you might like, though I’m not sure if you’ll like them."
Cabelenus gently took her hand.
“Things I might like?”
Alicia didn’t pull her hand away. She looked straight at him.
“Studying feels silly in a situation like this, and the weather’s too gloomy for a walk.”
There was one more idea he’d considered, but Cabelenus purposely didn’t mention it. Alicia had already spent more than enough time with that other man during lessons.
There was no need to bring James or their art discussions into this, no reason to remind her of him.
“I wanted to lift your spirits, so I thought about a few things, but with my clumsy ideas, I had no clue what to do.”
“...”
“So I figured I’d just bring you some of the foods you liked.”
The whole time he spoke, Cabelenus carefully watched Alicia’s face for any change in expression.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being pathetic, trying to make a show of care with something as simple as bringing food.
"You really didn’t have to go to such trouble. Just the fact that Your Highness cares is enough for me."
“...”
“But since you took the time to prepare it, I’ll gladly eat it.”
“…Alright.”
As expected, food alone wasn't enough.
Watching Alicia force a smile, Cabelenus let out a deep sigh internally.
He had tried pressuring Gazeff for advice, but it had been useless.
Alicia was usually indifferent to most things, so there were only a handful of things she ever clearly expressed a liking for.
All he’d managed to find out — through Madame Morco, who’d always been by her side — was what kind of food she ate well.
“In that case, Your Highness, please eat with me.”
“Me?”
“Even if you’re busy, you still need to eat. If it’s okay, please stay and eat with me.”
Alicia slowly interlaced her fingers with his.
The soft sensation of their skin rubbing together sent shivers down his spine, but he didn’t let go.
Alicia wasn’t sure if this would really be comforting, but she, too, wanted to offer Cabelenus some consolation, even if only a little.
She was completely unaware of what the man she wanted to comfort was actually thinking.
・・・・・
‘Is it because I’m full?’
Alicia hesitated for a moment before putting a piece of food in her mouth and chewing slowly.
The people of Schwarhan enjoyed eating meat, so meat dishes were often served at the table.
Even today’s main dish, a T-bone steak served with mashed potatoes, wasn’t an uncommon menu item.
When Alicia first arrived in Schwarhan, she was amazed by the taste.
At first, Schwarhan’s cuisine had seemed bland and rough, but the natural flavour of the ingredients stood out.
But today, for some reason, even the juicy steak didn’t taste good.
Instead, the meat’s distinctive smell was making her stomach churn.
If it weren’t for Cabelenus sitting across from her, she might have just spat the food out right then and there.
After barely managing to swallow the meat down with some water, Alicia glanced nervously at Cabelenus.
She had noticed her stomach felt strange lately, but it hadn’t been unbearable, so she had simply put up with it. This time, though, it was impossible to ignore.
“Is something wrong? Does it taste strange?”
"No. It’s just that it’s so delicious."
“Eat as much as you like. There’s plenty.”
"Thank you. I’ll enjoy the meal."
At Cabelenus’s urging, Alicia put another piece of sliced steak into her mouth.
And, she immediately regretted it.
The moment she tasted the meat, her face twisted reflexively, unable to keep her expression composed.
“What’s wrong? Is it not good?”
It didn’t seem that serious until just a moment ago.
Alicia, caught between indecision, covered her mouth while wearing a deeply furrowed brow.
She wanted to spit it out, but with Cabelenus present, she just couldn’t.
“If you can’t eat it, spit it out.”
Cabelenus rose without hesitation and brought a napkin to Alicia’s lips.
“N-No, I’m okay—”
“Spit it out.”
Strength tightened in Cabelenus’s hand.
Alicia was about to refuse, but his insistent gesture made her surrender.
Honestly, she had intended to swallow it somehow, but it was just too much.
“Are you alright?”
Cabelenus only withdrew his hand after Alicia had spat out the food.
“Y-yes.”
Alicia squeezed her eyes shut, unable to look at Cabelenus as he balled up the napkin and set it aside.
She had wanted to show him her best side, and instead had embarrassed herself.
“Are you alright, my lady?”
Madame Morco tactfully handed Alicia a glass of water.
Alicia just nodded over and over, still holding the cup.
“There’s nothing wrong with the food.”
Cabelenus picked up a piece of steak from her plate and frowned slightly.
The taste of the steak was no different from what they usually ate.
“It’s just… my stomach’s been feeling off.”
At Cabelenus’s words, Alicia responded and lifted her head again.
She rinsed her mouth with water, which helped somewhat, but perhaps because she had already felt nauseous once, her queasy stomach remained unchanged.
The harsh smell kept irritating her sense of smell.
“Clear the table now.”
Noticing Alicia’s reaction, Cabelenus brusquely pushed the dishes away.
The servants who were preparing to bring the next dish, though flustered, quickly cleared away the food.
Watching the situation from nearby, Madame Morco saw Alicia’s expression subtly change when the food was taken away and promptly opened the window.
Startled by the sudden cold wind, Alicia instinctively curled up, but her expression actually improved.
Madame Morco frowned just as much as Alicia did.
The problem wasn’t the food.
It was simply that Alicia’s body was rejecting it.
Just like the nausea that often came with pregnancy.
“Open all the windows and ventilate this room immediately.”
Madame Morco wasn’t the only one who had noticed Alicia’s change.
Following Cabellenus’s renewed command, the window was promptly opened wide.
The wind, mixed with snow, howled harshly as it burst into the castle.
"We’ll need something to cover her with.”
In response to Madame Morco’s remark, Cabelenus didn’t say anything but took off his coat and placed it over Alicia’s shoulders.
Only after quite some time did Alicia manage to suppress the lingering nausea and look at Cabelenus.
"Are you okay?"
"Y-yes. I'm okay."
"Since when has it been like this?"
“The physician said there’s no real issue. And even this morning, it wasn’t nearly this bad.”
Hearing the low tone in his voice, Alicia quickly explained.
She didn’t want to worry him over something like this.
“You look like this and yet you still say you’re fine?”
Cabelenus’s face twisted in anger.
Alicia hastily grabbed the hem of his clothes.
“The symptoms are unusual, but they said my condition isn’t bad.”
She had never shown symptoms this severe before, but the queasiness itself wasn’t unfamiliar.
What began as slight stomach discomfort was growing more severe by the day.
Though she wasn’t sensitive to food or a picky eater, the number of foods she couldn’t bring herself to eat gradually increased.
“Symptoms? What symptoms?”
“Well…”
She didn’t want to bring up pregnancy again.
Alicia trailed off and avoided his gaze.
But the persistent man didn’t know how to give up.
“Madame Morco.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“You explain, instead.”
Cabelenus commanded through clenched teeth.
His gleaming eyes strained to hold back his anger.
“It’s just as my lady said. We had the physician examine her several times, but the diagnosis was always the same. They said there’s nothing physically wrong with her.”
“So the physician doesn’t even know what the illness is?”
Cabelenus clicked his tongue in disbelief.
His voice was laced with deep irritation.
“They only said the symptoms resemble those of early pregnancy, nothing more.”
“But they already said she’s not pregnant.”
“Yes. That’s what puzzled the physician, too.”
Though she answered calmly, Madame Morco was just as perplexed.
Everything about Alicia’s symptoms pointed to pregnancy.
“What are the chances the physician made a mistake?”
“I can’t say it’s impossible. But both the physician’s personal examination and the magical diagnostic tools used to confirm pregnancy showed no reaction. The chance of error is extremely low.”
“Call another physician.”
His narrowed pupils glinted menacingly.
Madame Morco quickly bowed her head in respect.
“He’s the best physician in all of Schwarhan.”
“Do I need to repeat myself?”
Cabelenus growled low.
Madame Morco didn’t argue further and simply nodded.
“I will call our family physician.”
“If he can’t find anything either, bring in someone else.”
“Yes, understood.”
Madame Morco answered obediently.
She, too, wanted to know Alicia’s condition just as much.
“I’m really okay.”
Alicia smiled weakly as if to say not to worry.
Cabelenus gently caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.
“I’m not okay.”
His jaw tightened.
Because of her naturally pale skin, even a slight loss of colour made Alicia look ghostly.
Eventually, Cabelenus could no longer bear to look at her pale face and pulled her into his arms.
“I’ll get better soon.”
“Of course you will. I just managed to get some weight on you. It’d be terrible if you wasted away again.”
Cabelenus carefully brushed her hair back.
His once-clumsy touch had grown quite practised.
“For someone who supposedly can’t eat, I’ve eaten a lot today.”
“As if you ever eat that much.”
“I don’t think you realise how many oranges I ate while sitting here.”
Alicia smiled awkwardly.
She said it to reassure him, but it wasn’t a lie.
She had never been a big eater, nor did she enjoy food much, but today the oranges were so delicious she couldn’t stop reaching for them.
The maids peeling the fruit for her were kept constantly busy.
“I didn’t know you liked fruit.”
Cabelenus stared intently at her.
Even now, realising how much he still didn’t know about her left a bitter taste in his mouth.
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