"It's late, so I'll walk you to your room."
"I can get there by myself."
"I just want to see your face a little more."
Cabelenus readily reached out his hand to Alicia.
Alicia hesitated for a moment, then took his hand.
Neither of them tended to say much.
Even so, they spent hours deep in conversation.
And the mood between them had softened just as much.
“How was the tea you drank last time? I heard it helps with a good night’s sleep. If you liked it, I’ll ask them to bring some again today."
“I appreciate the thought, but I can ask the maid to do that myself.”
“Then how about some snacks?”
"The same goes for snacks."
Alicia shook her head firmly.
“Then—”
“There’s no need for you to go out of your way to do things for me — especially not things I can do myself.”
“But…”
“I’m not dead. I’m alive — just like this.”
Alicia gave a faint smile.
“…Yes, that’s right. You’re alive, right here before my eyes.”
Cabelenus smiled as well, following Alicia’s lead.
“Even so, I guess I still can’t help feeling anxious.”
“What is it that makes you so anxious?”
"I’ve lost you once before. I still can’t forget the feeling of holding your cold, lifeless body."
“But that wasn’t me.”
“I didn’t know that then.”
Cabelenus’s grip tightened, but Alicia deliberately pretended not to notice.
The man’s expression remained indifferent, but his hand was trembling slightly.
“…Was it very hard for you?”
"More than I could bear."
The shift in atmosphere was undeniably awkward.
Even so, the way their steps naturally fell into sync didn’t feel all that bad.
Just like the man who tried his best to respond despite feeling awkward.
“Then, what do you think would help you feel better?”
“And what about you? What do you think would make you feel better? ”
“...”
“You said you’re still having nightmares.”
Because of the things he said.
Cabelenus’s lips twitched and faltered.
"…I want you to apologise."
"If it’s an apology, I can give as many as you want—"
“Not to me, but to Michael.”
Alicia stared directly at Cabelenus.
“Michael doesn’t remember anything. But that doesn’t mean the words you said never happened.”
“I…”
"Just because the child doesn’t know anything doesn’t mean you can just let it go. I want you to apologise properly. What you said wasn’t something a child who hadn’t even been born should have had to hear."
“Isn’t he still too young to hear that kind of thing?”
“You don’t have to tell him everything, but you can at least apologise.”
Alicia’s gaze, which was fixed on Cabelenus, was unwavering.
“My mother always said that words carry weight — that when you speak, you must take responsibility for them. I believe the same.”
“...”
“We can’t just pretend nothing happened. Please apologise properly. I believe that’s the first step.”
Alicia lifted the corners of her mouth.
Cabelenus stared intently at her, then quickly lowered his head.
"I'll try my best."
“...”
"Why? Is it wrong to say it like that?"
Cabelenus slightly furrowed his brow as if troubled.
"No. It's just that I found it a bit surprising."
“In what way?”
"I thought Your Highness wasn’t someone who easily changed a decision once it was made."
"I told you — I said I wanted to try. I wouldn’t say something like that and then do nothing."
The tension drained from Cabelenus’s shoulders.
Alicia slowed her pace a little more and stole a glance at Cabelenus.
It had taken a very long time just to see him like this, but even that felt bittersweet. So, even as things were spiralling toward the worst, she felt a strange sense of relief.
For the first time since coming to Schwarhan, the anxiety that had always been with her finally began to settle.
“…James?”
No matter how slowly she walked, she eventually reached her destination.
Alicia spotted James in front of her door and quickly loosened her grip, but James’s gaze was already fixed on their hands.
“What brings you here at this hour?”
“Michael had fallen asleep, and since I didn’t want to enter your room without permission, I waited.”
Even after seeing everything, James smiled.
Alicia awkwardly lifted the corners of her mouth and quickly stepped forward.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been waiting here all this time? He must be heavy. Quickly give him to me.”
“No, I’ll carry him inside.”
“I’ll hold him.”
There was only one child, but more than one hand was reaching out.
Alicia took a short, deep breath and reached out toward Michael once again.
“I’ll just carry him. That’s the best option.”
“Just let me carry him. He’s heavy.”
Cabelenus quickly stretched out his hands.
Whether it was thanks to eating well or a late growth spurt, Michael was growing noticeably day by day.
The child she used to carry with relative ease had grown too heavy for Alicia to hold in her arms for long anymore.
“Still, I want to do it. I can still hold him well enough for now.”
Alicia gently stroked the child’s cheek.
Even in a drowsy state, Michael smiled faintly at the familiar touch.
“Come here, Michael.”
"Mhmm, hmm, Mum..."
When he whined in his sleep, he was just like any other little child.
Alicia smiled affectionately and embraced Michael.
Despite whimpering, Michael wrapped his arms around Alicia's neck.
Even while sleeping, the child could sense his mother as if by instinct.
“Sorry, but I’ll head in first.”
“Alright. See you tomorrow then.”
James quickly opened the door for Alicia.
Cabelenus pursed his lips in displeasure at the sight and opened the other door.
“We’ll talk about Roaquin tomorrow. I just got some good news from them, and I wanted to share it with you, too.”
"Roaquin?"
“That’s what I originally wanted to tell you, but as you know, today wasn’t the right time for it.”
“Yes, I understand. See you tomorrow then.”
“Alright. See you tomorrow.”
A smile spread across Cabelenus’s lips as he got the answer he wanted.
Alicia gave an awkward nod.
And James, watching the scene, bit down hard on his lip.
There was no need to say it aloud.
The atmosphere between the two had clearly changed.
・・・・・
Cabelenus stood there for a long time even after the door had closed.
James was standing next to him, but it didn’t make much of a difference.
They were never really close enough to have a friendly conversation.
"I may be a little late in expressing this, but thank you, Your Highness."
"Thanks? Was there really anything for you to thank me for?"
“For saving Alicia and Michael.”
He was forcing himself to swallow his anger while pretending it didn’t bother him.
Cabelenus let out a faint chuckle as he looked at James’s face, flushed red and blue. [1]
"I don’t think that’s something you should be thanking me for."
“It’s because it concerns my family.”
James wore a graceful smile on his lips.
“Family?”
Cabelenus’s eyebrows twitched slightly.
“Yes. Family.”
“You sure say some interesting things.”
"Family doesn’t necessarily have to be bound by blood.”
James’s hand turned pale.
He was afraid of the man with beast-like eyes, but he refused to back down.
The fact that Cabelenus was Michael’s biological father couldn’t be changed, but that was all.
James had time.
The past eight years. The time that Cabelenus could never have.
"I was there the day Michael was born. And I have been with him through every moment of his life since."
“So? Are you trying to show off in front of me with that?”
“Yes.”
“How ridiculous.”
Cabelenus sneered briefly, but James stared straight at him without changing his expression.
“Eight years ago, when I saw Alicia again, she was covered in blood. She looked so close to death that it was astonishing how she managed to make it through the blizzard to the village in that condition.”
“...”
“I saved her. And we spent a lot of time together — far more than the time she’s spent in this castle.”
"So, what exactly are you trying to say?"
Cabelenus’s lips twisted into a crooked smile.
“As soon as Michael’s safety is secured, we will leave immediately.”
James lifted his chin stiffly, as if refusing to back down.
“Leave? Says who?”
“Isn’t it time to let her go now?”
“You’re speaking nonsense.”
It was a story not even worth listening to.
Cabelenus turned his head away in irritation.
"Neither Alicia nor Michael belongs here."
"That’s not for you to decide."
"No matter how much Your Highness tries to embrace the two of them, the world will remain cold."
"The judgment of the world means nothing."
"Only Your Highness is fine with it. Maybe it would have been better if he had even inherited a symbol of the imperial family, but Michael—"
"That’s not important at all."
Cabelenus ground his teeth.
He wasn’t the kind of man to sit quietly and put up with nonsense.
“Isn’t it obvious just from His Majesty, the current emperor? He was doubted simply because he didn't have golden eyes. So what do you think they’ll say about Michael?”
“From the way you talk, you act like you know more about nobles than I do. Anyone watching might think you’re the noble, not me.”
Cabelenus sneered openly, curling his lips in scorn.
"I’m speaking from common sense."
"It’s not common sense, but your narrow-minded opinion."
"It’s not narrow-minded thinking, but a common perspective. Think about it. Michael was neither born from a formal marriage nor did he inherit the imperial family’s symbol. Everyone will reject Michael."
"That’s something no one can know for sure."
Cabelenus spoke calmly.
If Michael wanted it, Cabelenus was willing to pass over the title of Grand Duke of Schwarhan to him, but if he didn’t want it, he intended to just let him live as he was.
That was all.
Hair colour, eye colour — none of that mattered.
If absolutely necessary, it would be enough to expose the imperial family’s secret: the countless blood sacrifices made to produce a child that meets the conditions.
“Don’t speak so lightly.”
“You’re the one who should watch your tongue. I’m only putting up with you because you’re her guest — but even that has limits.”
“And what exactly do you think you’ve been putting up with?”
“You’re so caught up hiding your true feelings that you keep using her and the child as excuses.”
“...”
“Yet deep down, you’re terrified she might come back to me, and you don’t know what to do about it.”
Cabelenus gave a spiteful smile.
James seemed to think he was hiding it well, but he wasn’t.
To Cabelenus, the man’s anxiety — and his festering inferiority — were plain as day.
“Unlike someone, I’m not shameless enough to show my face in front of the child I once tried to kill.”
“I don’t think that’s something you have the right to bring up.”
“And I wouldn’t go out of my way to put my room far from Alicia’s, either.”
“As a mere guest, you should be grateful I even gave you a room.”
“…Your Highness, do you not even feel any guilt?”
"I thought I told you. That’s not something you should bring up."
Cabelenus raised one eyebrow.
“You seem to be under the delusion that this is some kind of family play-acting, but no matter how desperate you get, you’re still just a third party. You have no right to interfere in what’s between her and me.”
“...”
"I have no intention of denying the past. As you said, I was wrong and did nothing during that time. But that’s all there is to it.”
But he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t do anything during that time, was he?
A glimpse of Cabelenus’s sharp canines showed between his slightly parted lips.
A courting male could instinctively recognise a rival.
No matter how cleverly it was wrapped up, there was no way he wouldn’t notice the blatant greed.
"Nobles learn swordsmanship as a basic part of their upbringing. But you know what? Once you're actually on the battlefield, that kind of thing is no help at all."
“...”
“Once you’re thrown into the battlefield, there’s no room for acting refined. You just keep swinging your sword to survive, over and over — living each day at the cost of crushing someone else beneath your feet.”
Cabelenus’s gaze grew sharp.
He was different from the painter who had never even held a sword and had a head full of flowers.
He had hit rock bottom more than once and rolled through the mud.
He had no intention of putting on airs or pretending to be elegant.
Even if he had to grovel like a dog, he’d be satisfied just to get a fragment of Alicia’s attention. That was what true desperation meant.
That awkward man, so desperate to neatly conceal every single one of his feelings beneath a pretty facade, couldn’t even dare to place himself on the same level as him.
“Don’t kid yourself. Whether I was here or not, you still wouldn’t have been able to do a damn thing.”
“...”
“I can do anything, but you can’t. You’re just pacing nervously, afraid to lose even the little you have now — what do you think you can accomplish?”
"What are you talking about—"
“You’ve done nothing, so stop acting like a desperate mutt and behave with some dignity.”
There was a limit to how much leniency he could give just because they helped her.
His golden eyes shone brightly, the pupils distinctly visible.
He was in a position to wait for Alicia’s decision, but that didn’t mean he was powerless.
The choice was the female’s to make, but eliminating the rivals was the male’s role.
Translator's Corner:
[1] Red and blue make purple. This description alludes to the phrase "purple with rage," which is used to describe someone who is so angry that their face turns a deep, dark red.
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